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Not fat enough? This is for Low BMI'ers



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Today was the second time that someone told me that they didn't think i was "big enough" to justify having this surgery. I take this as a backhanded compliment. I'm what's considered to be a low BMI. However' date=' im qualified for this surgery and have full support of my doctors. My bmi is 37.5. I am a 31 yr old female. I weight 238 right now, my highest weight. I'm 5'7". I have about 80-90 lbs to lose to be a healthy weight. I take it as a compliment because its as if they are saying "ehh your not so bad" but it also really hurts my feeling and makes me second guess myself. I'm very overweight, I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and am at risk of becoming a diabetic. I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I've been bullied, I have low self esteem and I've tried every diet in the book. Twice. I don't know I guess I'm jus feeling discouraged. The funny part is that I was told this as I was leaving my pysc evaluation, in which the physiologist told me he fully supports me having the surgery, thinks I've very well prepared and educated. As I was leaving his office I made small talk with another sleeve patient waiting to go in. As we were chatting he said "to be honest you don't really look like you need this surgery, you look ok now". I thanked him but explained that its been a life long struggle with ups and downs. As I left it really made me second guess my decision. Just because I "don't look that fat" doesn't mean I don't fall into the "obese" category or have health problems because of my overweight. Ugh I guess I just needed to vent. Any other low BMI's every experience this?[/quote']

Hi:

I totally understand where your coming from. I have a BMI of 37, I'm 5'6 and weigh 230. I've had a friend say that I'm taking the easy way out, that I just need to get to the gym more. It is frustrating because unless they are in our shoes they have no idea how life feels being trapped in this body anymore. I personally feel that I'm starting my journey to a healthy FULL life now. I'm not going to wait longer to do more damage to myself. It's time for me! End of Story!

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While I hate that all of you guys have faced varying levels of non-support, I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I'm 32, 5'4 and have a lower BMI. In order for my insurance to even consider me, I had to gain 20 pounds and cross my fingers for a co-morbidity in order to meet their minimum guidelines as there was no way I could afford this as a self-pay.

In my case, I'm apparently "solid" as I'm repeatedly told that I'm not "that bad" and that I should just try weight watchers, etc. But it's not them living in my skin, you know? I'm the one that has to deal with the medical issues related to being so overweight for my frame and I'm the one that has to look in the mirror (or hide from it!) every morning and pray that when people see me dress primarily in black they marvel at how much thinner I look instead of wondering why there's a fat goth chick in their midst.

Those of us getting the sleeve, even those that don't have super high BMIs, aren't doing this because we're too lazy to give up bread or sugar or dairy or work out 2 hours a day or only eat spinach and grapefruit! We're doing this because we need a tool to help us get to the point to where we're as healthy as we can ever be and happy enough in our own skin to allow us to look in the mirror when no one else is watching and not feel wretched.

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You guys are all so awesome and you gave me exactly what i needed, support. I love that i dont feel alone in this because of all of you. Its funny because when i found this forum in the beginning of this journey, it was like my lifeline, i started posting and getting great response and support. I really felt like i was part of a family.

But when this guy made that comment last night, it almost made me feel like i was being kicked out of an exclusive club. Like "oh your not fat enough for this, you dont belong here". I know thats not how he meant it (like i said its almost as though he was flirting/complimenting me) but it still made me feel that way. I suddenly felt like an imposture being part of this journey and felt like i wasn't being accepted because i wasn't big "enough". Like one of my own kind had turned on me, like he was being racist against his own race haha. Listen, im big, very big. I wanted to say to the guy "trust me, you haven't seen me naked" haha but that would have been pushing it a little far. Anyway I posted this and the replys that all of you left have really brought me back to that good place that i felt in the beginning. That no matter what the circumstances that have brought us all here together, its exactly that, we are all together. Going through this together. Thank you, i really needed that.

Good news is that, i called my surgical group this morning and they have submitted my case to insurance! I should have an answer by next monday 3/11. Fingers crossed!!!!

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I decided to be sleeved as soon as my band was removed because of serious complications. My BMI was 20. Of course I got no support except from my daughters. I had to wait 18 months to become healthy enough to be sleeved and my BMI jumped to 33.5 .. STILL no support! Eventually my husband and son came around, but not until I started to have knee trouble and sleep apnea.

This is why I don't tell any others about my sleeve.. People are too free with opinions about something that doesn't have anything to do with them. Regarding my weight, in my opinion other people's two cents has depreciated to nada

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Yes,I wish I had dime for everyti me someone said that to me.

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The whole "you are taking the easy way out" comment has been used around me in the past when I was starting to pursue WLS. So I am choosing not to tell some individuals until after my surg. I do have a bmi of 40, exactly 40, so right now I am enduring a 6 month balancing act of not gaining or losing so my procedure will be covered.(I hope) People do not realized the impact their "advice" can have on someone. I have always tried to be supportive of everyone around me even if I don't always agree with what they are doing. So I expect the same from them. But I have support from those closest to me, hubby and mother, physician. And for now that is what I will go on to get me through. This forum has educated me so much that I surprised my bariactric dr with my knowledge!!

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Omg I love allll of you!!! My surgery is march 20... Getting close. I start the liquid diet this Wednesday. I've decided to tell only 2 ppl in work. My boss and a good friend. My boss is very positive about it. My "good friend" hasn't even asked me anything more about the surgery. I can tell from the look in her eyes that day that I told her that she was thinking I had lost my mind.

A select FEW family members know. These are the only ppl I am telling for the exact reasons you all expressed. Damn! It's no ones business. The more personal stuff you divulge, the more you leave yourself open for criticism.

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I went from a 43.7 BMI to a 39.1 post op two weeks yeah!

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Its not just those who have a lower bmi who gets this. My bmi is 46. Today someone I barely know came.into my office to say he heard I was having surgery Friday. He said that was ridiculous and all I needed was more willpower. I told him i must have been born without any and where can I buy some? Then I asked him to leave as I was busy.

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Surgery was Monday and all went well. I am mixing 1/2 Isopure which tastes pretty gross with 1/2 Gatoraide so it's not all that bad. Drinking 3 20 oz bottles a day plus a little bit so I should be fine. Pain meds are helping. Spending most of the day sleeping and walking around the house. Hope everyone else is doing as well.

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My BMI was 35 day I went to doctor, now 16 days later, I have lost 14 pounds, I am short 5'3, and didn't have health problems, but was headed in the wrong direction, I feel like a weight has been lifted, and to say this is the easy way out of dieting, they are wrong, its hard, not easy and painful. But I believe well worth it. Good luck to all you upcoming sleevers. mary

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Its not just those who have a lower bmi who gets this. My bmi is 46. Today someone I barely know came.into my office to say he heard I was having surgery Friday. He said that was ridiculous and all I needed was more willpower. I told him i must have been born without any and where can I buy some? Then I asked him to leave as I was busy.

Wow what a JERK! my boss said the same thing, "...and your SURE you cant do this on your own?" with a half frowned expression like me admitting this to her was my defeat...you should have told him that what you lack in willpower, he makes up for in doucheyness. Good luck to you this friday!!! Keep us posted.

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Hi Ladies!

I am glad I found this thread! This is me exactly also, although my BMI is right at 39.5, I also have the high cholesterol/BP that made me eligible for insurance approval. I know I am 100lbs over my healthy weight but I also always have people tell me "oh you aren't that big" or " you carry it so well". Well I'm tired of carrying it! Tired of being told I just need to eat better or work out. Well guess what, been there, done that, it didn't work for me. Tried and failed blah blah. For this reason I haven't told many people that I am having the surgery. I am glad (and sad at the same time, if that makes sense) there are others out there in my position. I wish some individuals were not so judgmental or quick to insert their opinions about these decisions. I know the ones who say you aren't that big usually mean well, but why does it always seem to come from the people who have been a size 4 their whole life with no effort and who have no idea what it is like to be " Miss Not That Big"?

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Hi all. I am 5'3 and started out with 202 lbs. My heaviest has been 218. By most accounts, I am "light" overweight person. The reason I decided to get sleeved is because when I wasnt gaining weight, I was losing. Never in my life had I been at a stable weight. I did all types of diets, with doctors, Atkins, hcg, weight watchers, just to name a few. All the yo-yo dieting was taking a toll on me. I was sleeved on 2/12, and its been a slow recovery for me, but I know I made the right choice.

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Today was the second time that someone told me that they didn't think i was "big enough" to justify having this surgery. I take this as a backhanded compliment. I'm what's considered to be a low BMI. However' date=' im qualified for this surgery and have full support of my doctors. My bmi is 37.5. I am a 31 yr old female. I weight 238 right now, my highest weight. I'm 5'7". I have about 80-90 lbs to lose to be a healthy weight. I take it as a compliment because its as if they are saying "ehh your not so bad" but it also really hurts my feeling and makes me second guess myself. I'm very overweight, I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and am at risk of becoming a diabetic. I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I've been bullied, I have low self esteem and I've tried every diet in the book. Twice. I don't know I guess I'm jus feeling discouraged. The funny part is that I was told this as I was leaving my pysc evaluation, in which the physiologist told me he fully supports me having the surgery, thinks I've very well prepared and educated. As I was leaving his office I made small talk with another sleeve patient waiting to go in. As we were chatting he said "to be honest you don't really look like you need this surgery, you look ok now". I thanked him but explained that its been a life long struggle with ups and downs. As I left it really made me second guess my decision. Just because I "don't look that fat" doesn't mean I don't fall into the "obese" category or have health problems because of my overweight. Ugh I guess I just needed to vent. Any other low BMI's every experience this?[/quote']

Yes, yes, yes. I've triggered with weight my whole life. I'm going through menopause early and hypothyroid...I'm 5'4 and 209. Samr thing...feel like I have an inner tube around my midsection. My feet hurt all the time And I have sleep apnea with high cholesterol. I can't believe how much stuff they want wrong with you in order to approve....

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