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Finding out what people really think...



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I am pre-op with a surgery date Easter week. I have only told a few people about this but it amazes me how many people have opinions about MY weight and knowing that I am going to lose it makes them more honest about it. I am overweight at 5'5 and 250 pounds, but I never realized the negativity extent about it until now. I guess I am bracing for the compliments that I will be receiving post surgery because it shows how I was looked at with the weight on. I will always be that girl that had the weight problem...and I want to protect her. Does that make sense? Maybe not!

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I totally understand! That's why I only told family....didn't want all the comments, looks & everyone watching my weight loss!

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Btw...my blood pressure and overall health is pushing me to do this...not looks (I am sure that was true of most of you)! I just want to be there for my family!

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I have only told a few people, mostly family. I guess I am just bracing myself for the comments after I lose the weight from people who don't know. I guess most compliments are meant to be nice, but they can hurt some.

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Oh my, now that my weight loss is so obvious, I am lying through my teeth to people when I get the question, "how did you do it?". I say I'm eating a lot of Protein and limited carbs and training for a 5k. That seems to satisfy people. I have only told my family and a couple of coworkers. I figure it's no one's business, and honestly, it makes me uncomfortable talking about my health history- too private!

-Kendra

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i was sleeved this past wednesday. i didn't tell many people and don't plan on it.

i just don't want to hear it. especially from the friends who say "no way, you aren't fat!!" when you mention gaining a few pounds or that your feet hurt because you're heavy. that's almost worse than someone saying "dang, you're fat!"

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I've been honest when people ask about my surgery so far but it is uncomfortable. Just trying to come up with a good way to explain it to a lay person. Most everyone has been very supportive though. I will continue to tell people because when I start to really look as though I've lost a lot of weight I will have to say something and I am a horrible liar. One way or the other it seems to be an uncomfortable moment either way...

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Oh my, now that my weight loss is so obvious, I am lying through my teeth to people when I get the question, "how did you do it?". I say I'm eating a lot of Protein and limited carbs and training for a 5k. That seems to satisfy people. I have only told my family and a couple of coworkers. I figure it's no one's business, and honestly, it makes me uncomfortable talking about my health history- too private!

-Kendra

Your not lying...you ARE concentrating on Protein & limiting carbs! Just leave it at that!

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I told my husband and 2 kids and they understood. I told one of my sisters and it's interesting how she tries to be understanding, but yet puts me down for no will power and she was the one I thought would not criticize and be supportive. On the other hand, I told my brother and thought he would criticize but he didnt and just said to let him know how it goes. You just never know with people. Only one person at work knows that I "may" need to have part of my stomach removed. Otherwise I'm just going to say dieting and watching what I eat. They've all seen me lose weight and gain it back. So hopefully the only difference will be that I am able to keep it of this time.

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i was sleeved this past wednesday. i didn't tell many people and don't plan on it.

i just don't want to hear it. especially from the friends who say "no way, you aren't fat!!" when you mention gaining a few pounds or that your feet hurt because you're heavy. that's almost worse than someone saying "dang, you're fat!"

Dust, I hope you do not mind my asking, my husband owns a Jui Jitsu school and while I and planning on a revision from band to sleeve, he is considering a sleeve. He is worried, what, if any impact it will have in practicing his art? I would love to hear what you think.

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Dust, I hope you do not mind my asking, my husband owns a Jui Jitsu school and while I and planning on a revision from band to sleeve, he is considering a sleeve. He is worried, what, if any impact it will have in practicing his art? I would love to hear what you think.

i'm only a few days out, so i don't speak from personal experience.

i'm 35 and, other than my weight, in very good health and decent shape. the doc told me i could go back to anything i want - jiu jitsu and judo included - after 4 weeks. it might be like 4-6 weeks instead, but regardless the message was that it will not impact my training at all once everything is healed up and good to go.

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I told everyone that I work with. They have all been very supportive. The only person in my family that knows I did this is my son. I'm not going to tell anyone else. It's interesting how many people don't understand what this surgery is. One of my friends that I told thought I was saying that I'm going to have lyposuction. LMAO! I'm did this to become a healthier person. I wasn't having any luck with losing weight on my own and knew that if I kept going down the path I was going, I would end up with health problems that I didn't want. My only issues that I have had before surgery was edema in my legs and because of that, was having a hard time doing any excersises. Now that I've had the surgery, the edema has been cut in half. I can't remember when my ankles last were so skinny, and I'm loving it!

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Btw...my blood pressure and overall health is pushing me to do this...not looks (I am sure that was true of most of you)! I just want to be there for my family!

Ditto!!! I was so sick before ugh my health was headed down hill only. Now that I'm at goal it's hard to look back and remember how much life was a struggle to live.

Saved my life!

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There are few PERSONAL things in our lives that are so visible to everyone we are know. I am an outgoing person, but like to leave certain things in my life private. I am glad I am not the only one who feels that way.

On the other hand, I am a great believer in the fact that what you go through can help someone else. I have already talked to one of my best friends about what I am doing and she is looking into it for herself. I am so happy that we have a forum in which what people share about their own lives helps others.

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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