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Bracing myself for the impact my sleeve will have on my relationship

I can feel it already. I am currently engaged (been together for 2 1/2 years) and I just know that our relationship won't make it through this. We haven't had any big issues throughout our relationship. At first when I told him I was thinking about WLS he told me I "wasn't that big" ( he didn't know my weight but I was 295 and am 5' 5") He eats VERY unhealthy and he was told his 5 year old daughter needs to lose weight at her last dr appt. I try to talk to him about eating better but he wants no part of it although he says he is "supportive" he doesn't realize that to me that means we all need to make changes. I just know that after my sleeve I will be forced to choose either taking care of myself or staying with him. I have never broken up with anyone (always been the dumpee) I can't stand the thought of it but I know where it's headed.... This sucks

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While on my pre surgery diet my husband, who is an excellent cook, found low carb meals to make for both of us. They were delicious. My pre diet was less than 40g of carbs. He lost 7 lbs the first week and i lost 15 in my 2 weeks. Search the internet for the foods you guys like cuz there ie almost always a healthy version that tastes great (even for desserts).

I'm pretty sure that my relationship is about to end too, but I'm okay with it. I was married 16 years and I was very happy as a married woman. My ex-husband cheated and left last year on New Year's Day. Then, he filed for divorce the day after Valentine's Day. I think that life outside of my marriage had gotten so stressful, that I wasn't the wife I needed to be.

The guy I've been seeing since March of last year is a sweetheart when we are together, but he turns into a monster when I come back home. He lives about five hours away. He's very jealous and always accuses me of cheating. At this point, I'm soooooo over it. Honestly, I'm waiting for the phone call or text to say he's through too. I'm looking forward to the rest of my life and the plan that God has for my life. I'm a good woman with a heart and brains. I deserve a good guy and before I find Mr. Right, I need to become the Mrs. Right that he's looking for! :) Good luck to you on whatever you decide.

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Yeah I was married before and I was his second wife. He was 25 and I was 15 when we first got together got married when I was 18 divorced at 21. He got married again about two months after our divorce was finalized. The guy I'm with now is 29 and I am now 24 he's been married twice before and has a child. My ex-husband also had a kid and I swore to myself I would stay away from men with children. I like kids but there are always issues with the mother and weird boundary issues. But anyways I just know I need to focus on making myself happy and I won't struggle because I'm dragging some man along with me. Either he can be the kind of support that I need or I'll drop his butt and move on.

  • 2 months later...
  • Author

So in case anyone wants to know how this went down, the relationship has ended. I found out he had been talking to other women on a very regular basis throughout our entire relationship! One of them was his first ex-wife. I think we will remain on decent terms but that relationship is definitely OVER! And btw surgery date will be June 5th :)

I'm sorry to hear that but on to MUCH better things! It's a new beginning for you in so many ways! You have a bright and happy future ahead girl! Congrats and good luck on the 5th! :)

Maybe he will come around and embrace the healthy choices that come with your surgery and the new you. I have been very overweight for most of my life with the exception of my multiple huge weight losses followed by huge weight gain. My wife is thin and could have dated and married anyone she wanted (as I had been told by her family and some of her former friends), but fell in love with me. She has been with me every step of the way through several serious and in one case life threatening illnesses and surgeries. When I started this process it was her who went with me to seminars, doctor appts, post op support groups. She spends many nights up late researching recipes, foods and supplements. Our relationship has been further cemented by "our surgery and journey" ( her words). We will be celebrating our 25th anniversary next month, and I am looking forward to being a hot stud for her. She is also looking forward to me to turn a few heads as well. This is just to say if you have a great relationship, things can only get better and nothing has to change for the worse.

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@buplee lol guess you missed the part where he's been cheating on me for almost 3 years! My life is MUCH better without that loser! I was never saying the surgery has to have a negative impact on relationships, although it is common. I just knew that as all of this has been coming together in my life, things in the relationship were beginning to surface. Thank the Lord above this all happened a couple weeks BEFORE my surgery rather than a couple weeks after.

@buplee lol guess you missed the part where he's been cheating on me for almost 3 years! My life is MUCH better without that loser! I was never saying the surgery has to have a negative impact on relationships' date=' although it is common. I just knew that as all of this has been coming together in my life, things in the relationship were beginning to surface. Thank the Lord above this all happened a couple weeks BEFORE my surgery rather than a couple weeks after.[/quote']

I guess missed your post about losing some additional weight in addition to that you will lose after surgery. I wish you the very best and hopefully you'll find some worthy of being in a relationship with you.

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