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Peoples reactions to weight loss surgery



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I was initially going to keep my potential surgery a secret (Im still waiting for my first apt) but I feel so embarrassed at being so fat I felt like I had to tell people that I WAS doing something about it. I think its a bit like the fat girl making jokes about herself being so fat...kind of like I get in first before other people could get in first.

So' date=' my good friend looks at me at work yesterday and states in front of EVERYONE: You are going to die in that surgery.

She is overweight herself and has a failed band....I think sometimes other overweight people are even more judgemental of surgery than those that just have no idea. Of all people I thought someone with weight problems would understand.

Rani

(first apt March 5 - can't get there fast enough)[/quote']

Don't let it bother you!! You are doing what you want and don't let anyone tell you that it's wrong! My sister in law of all people who has known me for 17 years asked my husband why I can't just diet...I'm like are you freaking kidding me!? My husband defended me and said she HAS tried and her PCOS won't let her loose enough and it makes he gain it all back. Unless they've been in our shoes they don't know and shouldn't say things to make us feel even worse. That's why I like talking to people on here. It makes me feel like I'm accepted and not alone.

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Ok. I stretched the truth and said there was a bump (cyst) to be removed and part of my stomach has to go. Ok I guess it is a lie but I can't handle telling the truth

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Ok. I stretched the truth and said there was a bump (cyst) to be removed and part of my stomach has to go. Ok I guess it is a lie but I can't handle telling the truth

Ok. I stretched the truth and said there was a bump (cyst) to be removed and part of my stomach has to go. Ok I guess it is a lie but I can't handle telling the truth

Good one! Wish I'd thought of that one before I told people! I had to tell my close colleagues; they were very concerned because I had to take off for many of the pre-surgery appointments. Even though I asked them not to discuss this with anyone else, it leaked out at work (I am a high school teacher). So far some people have approached me and have been very supportive.

I must say that I am most disappointed in my best friend who took it upon herself to tell my other friends. I would have preferred to have been included in that conversation rather than the clucking that went on without my presence. Frankly, I'm upset that she took away my control of my health information...and she's a nurse! But rest assured, after I have calmed down about this, I will have that conversation with her!

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This is my struggle, too. I just had my first appoinement and have made the decision to move forward. I have told my husband and my close friends who are all very supportive, I am very lucky for that! What I dred is telling my family. They all live in town and we see each other often. I know not telling them is not an option- if they found out I had surgery without telling them all hell would break loose. I'm just worried about their reaction.

My BMI is just over 35 and I have been smaller before (I have the great yo yo weight) which makes me think everyone will say "just go on a diet, you've done it before" I know they wont understand. :(

I wish I could go without telling co-workers but they will want to know why I'm out of work and even though not their business, we tell each other everything else so it would be too obvious! Ugh!

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I've been very open about my surgery to friends, family and random strangers. I've had very little negative feedback from anyone. Two friends have dropped off the Lissa Bandwagon, but I haven't had any other negative feedback. As a matter of fact, I have several friends who have been inspired to lose weight, both with and without surgery, and I'm happy that I could provide that inspiration. :)

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I wondered the same thing! I've told my family and some coworkers know. They've been extremely supportive. I'm very proud that I'm taking this step...a few did ask me why I needed it and that I didn't look that overweight...I think to myself I'm 5'2" and weigh 224' date=' I tell them that I have PCOS and hyperinsulemia which makes loosing weight on regular dieting nearly impossible. Then they're like oh ok. Again, I'm very proud that I'm doing this and kinda wanna shout it from the rooftops! Lol. I think this is going to be about 100 times harder than just dieting and exercising so the people that wanna judge me for it can just kiss it. Lol![/quote']

Hey sleeve buddy how r u feeling? How is your weight loss going? Give me an update :)

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Anyone else get those looks or reaction when you tell people you are having surgery the " can't you just diet regularly" . I get so frustrated, I really feel like just saying" yeah I'm gonna take the easy way out instead because I don't want to diet" . Seriously this is one of those times you want to tell them walk in my shoes! I've always been heavy, fought all my life with yo-yo dieting and I finally decided to take action that requires actually MORE work than regular dieting! Sorry had to vent!

I personally think 'popping pills' or counting points was easier than having major surgery to remove 85% of my tummy....and still, I must make good choices. I'm just sayin' :)

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I decided to only tell my close family and a couple of co workers. As the weight has come off when someone comments one of my coworkers insists on telling them it's because I had WLS. Very frustrating. I have asked her several times to stop but it continues. So I say only tell those you know you can trust.

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I decided to only tell my close family and a couple of co workers. As the weight has come off when someone comments one of my coworkers insists on telling them it's because I had WLS. Very frustrating. I have asked her several times to stop but it continues. So I say only tell those you know you can trust.

I think I'd resort to playing dirty. Tell this person that if she says that again, you will tell everyone she's had Vaginal Rejuvenation. (this is a copy and paste description) It is combined Labiaplasty and Vaginoplasty for a cosmetically enhanced and tightened vagina in one surgical visit. Tell her that folks like to believe things like that, soooooo, true or not, it will get them talking. This procedure is clearly more interesting than having WLS!!!! LOL I'm just sayin'

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Lol I will have to try that.

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I didn't tell many people' date=' just a handful of people I'm close to...and my boss. I asked her to keep it confidential, which she agreed to. Just ran into the VP of HR in the elevator, and she said "You look great. Heard you had that surgery". I denied it and asked her who told her that. I'm not sure how she knew, but I didn't tell anyone in HR why I was off. I'm pretty mad, I feel like my privacy has been violated. So inappropriate to ask someone that question!! And this is where people should really understand medical privacy!! Uggh.

Sorry for the rant, but if you want to keep it private, don't tell ANYONE but your significant other.[/quote']

I totally agree I told some one in confidence and overheard them tell some one else. So from what I've learned telling your main support person really is enough if you want to keep this private

Everyone have a different ideas on this.

It's up to you.

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Lol I will have to try that.

I am sooooo not kidding. I'd do it!!!!

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I do try to keep it to myself' date=' but workmates( I work in hospital) know and can be judgemental , but my core group, my home life totally support which is soooooo important luckily! I just never want to hear " you have such a pretty face, if you could only lose some weight !" Again! Gotta love it lol[/quote']

Omg I know!!!! I'm tired of the you'll be so pretty after you loose some weight. I'm pretty now I'm going to be so healthy after I loose weight.

I'm getting some negative comments about being too young to make this life changing decision. I'm 24 and keep telling them I've been heavy for 24 years and its better to use this tool to get healthy now instead of waiting till I have a serious health issues to get the surgery.

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My brother had the lap band surgery, and I remember thinking to myself that he didn't look large enough to go that route. He did have co-morbidities, and some of the weight came off, but not as much as I expected.

Since I'm also obese, I've decided to go ahead and see if getting sleeved would work for me. Maybe it is payback for what I thought about my brother, but I keep hearing that voice in my head telling me that I'm not big enough to go this route. I have a few minor co-morbidities, (pre-diabetes, high cholesterol) but I'm not sure they will be allowed under my insurance. I have my first consult tomorrow and will ask the doc if he thinks I'm a proper candidate or not. In my head, I see myself at around 150, not the 234 that I currently weigh....sigh! I want to be healthy, not looking down the road at diabetes and all that entails.

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Ok. I stretched the truth and said there was a bump (cyst) to be removed and part of my stomach has to go. Ok I guess it is a lie but I can't handle telling the truth

That is a good one really wished I thought of that!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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