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A thread for Single Bandsters



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JC, try Unisom. It works pretty well. Just read the label. There is a unisom that has the same ingredients as Benydral , and another one with a different

ingredient. The different one works best.

Leona, I would just bring it up by asking something about being exclusive.

Unless you still feel like you want to date other people.

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Leona I would maybe suggest having the 'since we're sleeping together' talk, whereas since we're sleeping together I need to feel comfortable knowing that you're not sleeping with anyone else. This will usually bring up some sort of conversation. It will either be the "ok, I can do that" conversation or the "of course not, silly" conversation. Two very different reactions and two very different relationships. The first is we're "dating" and the second is we're "boyfriend-girlfriend". My married friends laugh and say it's splitting hairs but I've been in both relationships before and they are very different with different expectations. So use that as a way to bring up the conversation, then just be honest. If you want him to be your boyfriend, tell him. Guys like affirmation just as much as us girlies do. That's my two cents.

JC hon, take care of yourself. You're getting me worried over here.

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Thanks Chrispy, I'm trying. I am going to do my best to shutdown early tonight, but I am kinda excited. I received the underground railroad map set today. It looks like I can get to Evansville Indiana from that trail and maybe ride up 41 to three oaks Mi. to get to the Apple Cider Century Ride.

JC

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April... have you had enough Protein? That will keep you fuller longer... also try to distract yourself with something really important to take you mind off of the liquids...

just imagine yourself skinny... visualize it and the liquids will seem like nothing in the big sceme of them!

Thanks for the suggesstions I will try that, I am going to get a Protein Shake instead of the Slim fast which has only 10g of protein in it, my mom said she has some Protein Powder that has 44g in it. I am going to try that and see if I like it and if it works. I have lost another 5 lbs though...yeah!!! And that was after a little cheating yesterday...My pre-teen daughter and I had a girls day out and went to 2 movies and dinner together something I don't get to do with her very often with my finances and work schedule. But I did my liquids all day like normal before going out and resumed it this morning....which a big step for me, usually when I cheat it's over I just give up all together.

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HaHa Chrispygal...you have sooo much knowledge with this dating stuff... where's your knight? He's gonna be one LUCKY guy!

Ok, I have had a fever of 101 or higher for 2 days so I haven't seen him, but he has called me and we've talked for more than 3 hours in those 2 days just about mundane stuff... stuff during the day, a bit of history about ourselves and somehow during that I started to really possibly see a future- That maybe this wasn't just a "we're sleeping together" relationship...

We are going out to dinner tonight before we head out with his friends, so I think it'll be a great time to talk about it... whew this is TRUELY uncharted territory for me!

So thanks Denise and Chrispy! We'll see how it turns out. I can't believe I am putting my heart out like this, I am normally SO reserved with it, and am TOTALLY breaking my rule of not dating in Maryland so it makes it easier to leave and I don't become attached to something here. It's hard enough that my parents are here.

Updates later!

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It's becoming obvious that I'm hopelessly out of touch. That's to be expected, coming out of a 10 yr marriage and 3 years of dating before that.

How on earth does one meet other singles when you're almost 40? Work is out thanks to all the harassment minefields, I don't bother with church, and the clubs all have the 20something kids in there.

Fortunately I'm spending the next year focusing on me and getting in better shape physically and mentally, but I'm trying to think ahead.

Suggestions?

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If you find the answer Manatee, clue me in. I live in a small town and it's really hard to meet new people.

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Manatee,

If you give it a fighting chance, online dating sites could possibly work- I've met a lot of nice guys on there... but be careful, I've also met a ton of crazies! Match.com.... eharmony... try the big sites- they seem to have less crazies!

BTW, I ate in front of Matt!!! haha I had a salad-- it was hard to watch him eat half of a personal pizza and 3 sodas, but I felt good about not doing that in front of him. It was the first night I stayed over and didn't do anything besides cuddling... and it was really nice. Still haven't had that talk yet about possibly being exclusive, but somehow I think we both know that we are.

Just keep swimming~ (Nemo quote, sorry...but its a good movie!) I now really believe that there is someone out there if you are ready for it... and if you're not, you can learn from all of your mistakes!

You guys are awesome- I wish I would have found this thread EARLIER before I had been banded a year+... but I'm glad I've found you guys now!

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HaHa Chrispygal...you have sooo much knowledge with this dating stuff... where's your knight? He's gonna be one LUCKY guy!

Haha Leona, that's because I'm a serial dater. Plenty of dates, a whole mess of relationships, but alas no true love yet. lol.

Things are going well with Mike though. :) Every time I see him I realize more and more how cute he is, how nice he is, and how much I'm attracted to him. I could really fall for this one. That makes me a little nervous, so I'm just taking it day by day. Mike was out with some friends last night and called me. He was a little tipsy and started saying some interesting things. First he said something about me being his girlfriend, and then a friend of his asked if he had to answer to me and his reply was "I'm 32 and if I don't start having to answer to someone soon I'm going to be single forever." I'm laughing hysterically about this and all I could say was, I don't expect you to answer to me, and then he told me it was a good thing and he wanted to. So I don't know - maybe we need to have the talk too Leona. lol

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Chrispy, it sounds like you're having a blast. I'm happy for you. I'm envious too!

JC, I'm assuming you haven't been able to work out like you were? You think it's just pent-up energy keeping you awake?

Try doing something very mentally exhausting. For me that would be, like, teaching my parents anything computer-related. Do you have young kids in the family near you? Treat them to a day out with Uncle JC. Go to Chuckie cheese and the park and maybe the zoo. You will sleep for a day and a half afterward. The next day you'll wake up cheery and rested...and you'll probably start researching a vasetomy.

Hehe.

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DerbyGirl, I am currently trying to recover from the mental vasectomy that you just gave me. LOL

Somone on another thread made a comment that got me thinking, it dawned on me that I was pounding the coffee pot hard at work. When I counted them up I realized I had been knocking down about 20 cups a day!! I quickly fixed that! Thanks for the concern and for the record I am staying the heck out of Chukie Cheese!

JC

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I have a question for anyone who would like to answer it. When did you think of dating again? Was it before or after, and if after how long after your surgeries. I am not banded yet (probably not for another 2 months, and even though I left my personal ad active on yahoo and match.com I feel funny about going on with my life as far as meeting someone, in this current stage. Even though I feel like my biological clock is ticking away. I feel like I need to get a move on to find someone to enjoy spending time with. I would really like to have more children someday and I am definitely not getting any younger...I don't know what to do!!! Did anyone else experience any feelings like this too?

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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