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So happy to hear you're better Sannah! Yay!!!!

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So happy to hear you're better Sannah! Yay!!!!

Me too!! Thank you kindly!! Let the wild ride continue!! :)

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Sannah,

I hit the one year mark last month. I have been very lucky and did not experience complications. Certainly my diet has changed and the amount I can eat in any one sitting, but I tolerate my Vitamins, get most of my Protein from real food and not Protein Shakes. I am wearing a 14 but look forward to getting down to an 8-10 when I reach goal. The weight is very slow coming off now, but that is ok. I feel amazing, strong and healthy. Some foods do not sit well with me, so I avoid those, there is so much I can tolerate, that I don't feel I'm missing out on the foods I love. Fish goes down the easiest of all the Proteins, and glad I love fish!

Hope all your stones pass and you do not keep making new ones. Are you taking meds or doing anything to address the formation of new stones?

Give Venla a big squeeze and enjoy your week!!

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Verdict is in...

I have an ulcer over my leak site.

I also have some abnormal growths or swelling. They appear raised and rippled in the picture.

I also have bile in my stomach that should not be there.

post-30186-13813665550779_thumb.jpg

post-30186-13813665551578_thumb.jpg

post-30186-13813665552327_thumb.jpg

post-30186-13813665553199_thumb.jpg

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Sannah' date='

I hit the one year mark last month. I have been very lucky and did not experience complications. Certainly my diet has changed and the amount I can eat in any one sitting, but I tolerate my Vitamins, get most of my Protein from real food and not Protein Shakes. I am wearing a 14 but look forward to getting down to an 8-10 when I reach goal. The weight is very slow coming off now, but that is ok. I feel amazing, strong and healthy. Some foods do not sit well with me, so I avoid those, there is so much I can tolerate, that I don't feel I'm missing out on the foods I love. Fish goes down the easiest of all the Proteins, and glad I love fish!

Hope all your stones pass and you do not keep making new ones. Are you taking meds or doing anything to address the formation of new stones?

Give Venla a big squeeze and enjoy your week!![/quote']

Hello Katie,

Congrats on your year mark!! :) sounds like you have learned a lot about what works for you and what doesn't. Go fish!!!

Do you take a b100 complex?

I am on meds to prevent the stores from getting larger. They are painful, but now that I can eat I can manage the pain much better. :)

I have little Venla a big ol hug!! :) she is a crazy and fun kid!!!

Best,

Sannah

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Verdict is in...

I have an ulcer over my leak site.

I also have some abnormal growths or swelling. They appear raised and rippled in the picture.

I also have bile in my stomach that should not be there.

Wow look at those pictures!

I need to back up and read what's going on I just realized I'm not getting updates on this either!

Hope all is going to be ok.

Laura

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Wow look at those pictures!

I need to back up and read what's going on I just realized I'm not getting updates on this either!

Hope all is going to be ok.

Laura

Hey,still pretty out of it from drugs. I wish I knew more.

I was given another medicine to help. I take something 6 times a day to keep things at bay. I hope I can eat.

I hope your day is good!!

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Hey' date='still pretty out of it from drugs. I wish I knew more.

I was given another medicine to help. I take something 6 times a day to keep things at bay. I hope I can eat.

I hope your day is good!![/quote']

I'm glad you've got the pictures! I'm a visual person. When I could see the pictures of my leak it helped the anxiety a bit. And I've seen some nasty ulcers, luckily your doesn't look too bad! Hope that makes for a quicker recovery!!!

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I'm glad you've got the pictures! I'm a visual person. When I could see the pictures of my leak it helped the anxiety a bit. And I've seen some nasty ulcers' date=' luckily your doesn't look too bad! Hope that makes for a quicker recovery!!![/quote']

Hey Liz,

Thank you!! Pictures are surely nice.

I have no experience with ulcers. I need to go do some reading. I also need to find out what those ripple masses are. Also why there is misplaced bile in my stomach.

I am sure all of the above reasons are why it's hard for me to eat and keep food down. Surely when I talk to the dr on Monday she will answer my questions.

Best,

Sannah

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I am having some emotional trouble.

The dr who put my stents in/took out and helped treat my leak told me if the tissue is compromised the area can re-open. Leak!!!

I can't bring myself to eat. I am afraid the area is compromised because of the ulcer. I am feeling scared and paralyzed by fear.

I don't want to leak again or endure anything similar to a leak. It was pure hell and I am desperate to do anything I can to prevent a leak.

I feel in distress!!! food just doesn't seem like a viable option for me.

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I am having some emotional trouble.

The dr who put my stents in/took out and helped treat my leak told me if the tissue is compromised the area can re-open. Leak!!!

I can't bring myself to eat. I am afraid the area is compromised because of the ulcer. I am feeling scared and paralyzed by fear.

I don't want to leak again or endure anything similar to a leak. It was pure hell and I am desperate to do anything I can to prevent a leak.

I feel in distress!!! food just doesn't seem like a viable option for me.

I get this way anytime I have stomach pain now. Pain from vomiting from a bug, soreness from working out, anything that makes me think of my stomach leads me to being too scared to eat. But I know I have to or I'll end up in the hospital anyway. I stick to liquids. Water/Gatorade/soups w/unflavored Protein powder. I know how scary it is. :(

Have they offered you post leak counselling? My surgeon recommended I see a therapist. I haven't because I've been in and out of therapy for years and sometimes I feel like I've heard it all. But the couple times I talked to somebody when I was in the hospital helped.

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I get this way anytime I have stomach pain now. Pain from vomiting from a bug' date=' soreness from working out, anything that makes me think of my stomach leads me to being too scared to eat. But I know I have to or I'll end up in the hospital anyway. I stick to liquids. Water/Gatorade/soups w/unflavored Protein powder. I know how scary it is. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' />

Have they offered you post leak counselling? My surgeon recommended I see a therapist. I haven't because I've been in and out of therapy for years and sometimes I feel like I've heard it all. But the couple times I talked to somebody when I was in the hospital helped.[/quote']

Hey Liz,

Sounds like all this craziness I am feeling may be normal for a leak survivor? I feel so crazy and nuts!!!

I went to counseling during my leak and now I go to counseling, but I think it's more what normal Sleevers in the program do. I am looking for counseling that isn't weight focused. Hopefully we can work on me and the fear issue. ??

So sounds like you still take breaks from solids too? Does this help ease your fears?

Best,

Sannah

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Hey Liz' date='

Sounds like all this craziness I am feeling may be normal for a leak survivor? I feel so crazy and nuts!!!

I went to counseling during my leak and now I go to counseling, but I think it's more what normal Sleevers in the program do. I am looking for counseling that isn't weight focused. Hopefully we can work on me and the fear issue. ??

So sounds like you still take breaks from solids too? Does this help ease your fears?

Best,

Sannah[/quote']

It really does help ease my fears. It's the easiest thing I can do for my sleeve when I'm worried about it. I would bring up fear/anxiety issues to your therapist to see if they can help you with it, if they can't, at least give a good reference. I think any leak survivor, especially somebody who had to endure as much as you have, has a good right to some anxiety! I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and acute panic disorder since I was very young so I fully expected it. But other people in my support group that have had leaks had a few or a lot of appointments with a therapist to help ease them back in to "normality." Anxiety alone is bad, but in a situation like ours, where it truly is based on a near death situation, therapy is largely needed!

I know liquids for a day or so help me when I'm scared. Your hesitation is entirely justified! For several reasons. See if avoiding solids helps your brain calm down for a bit :)

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Aww Liz!! Your the best!! :)

I am sorry to hear that you have such anxiety troubles. Gosh, that must be hell!!! I am sure it has l been exasperated by your leak. Sounds like liquid is your coping mechanism and it allows you to function better/ get to a healthier mental place. I need this...

Thank you for talking to me about this. I just feel so nuts. I can't seem to gain mental control of the feelings of fear. I just can't take anymore steps backwards. Only forward!!!

My family is fighting hard to get me to eat and I just can't do it. I don't know that they understand why, even though I tried to explain. They have not been down this road. They have been by my side and seen me through it all. But they have not lived in my physical world and experiences. So I think this is why they can't fully relate. I know they are concerned for me and I am thankful for this. But I also have to find my sanity, without it I am lost. I don't want to be a HopelessWanderer ( haha Mumford & Sons) :)

I will surely heed your advice and get into more intensive therapy. It's not fun for me or anyone to live this way.

How often do you find you go back to liquids? I am thinking I should so this liquid diet until the ulcer heals. Then I should be back into a golden spot. :)

Thank you for taking time from your weekend to write and share with me!!!

Best,

Sannah

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UPDATE

talked to my surgeon today.

Looks like everything that is wrong is from my leak.

Ulcer is lame.

Those masses are damage from my stents. She expects that will go away in a year.

Misplaced bile is from all the trauma from the leak. It's also making me sick. :(

It's great to have her explanations and it sets my mind at ease... But I still wish this wasn't he case. I can't change it... So I will adapt.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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