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Did you keep your surgery a secret?



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I told my immediate family and a handful of close friends and co-workers. I wanted their support and encouragment. I have sworn them to secrecy. I don't want to be the topic of anyone's conversation, and it is a personal thing for me.

It's funny to me when I say that because I have my picture in my profile, and that's not very annonymous, but I just don't want to discuss it with acquaintances.

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I am aiming for a March date...so far my hubby knows. I don't know if my insurance will approve it so I don't want to get anyone upset until I know for sure. Then I will tell my mom and sisters and bff.

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it does seem to be.

My husband said' date=' "Why can't you just exercise?"

I couldn't even get into all the reasons why exercise isn't possible for me, between swollen, Fluid filled feet, arthritic knees, a compressed disc with shooting sciatic pain, and I'm only 31! Exercise = dangerous and painful. He thought I could just zumba for a few months and be fit. Uh, no!

LOL[/quote']

My hubby is the same way!

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I chose not to tell anyone (only my husband and best friend know) becasue I didn't want a lifetime of "Oh, are you allowed to eat that" everytime I put somethign near my mouth. I am 6 weeks out and my weight loss has progressed at a pretty good rate, but not at a shocking rate (-35)...so just now people are starting to ask me about losing weight and I answer that I have completely changed my eating habits and I am simply moving more, eating less. Its nobody's business except my own, it was a medical decision.

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This may seem crazy and I'm not quite sure how it will play out yet but I haven't told a soul - not even my Husband. I'm going in Feb to have it done after a business trip. I just don't want to hear anyone's input. My husband wouldn't like that I'm going to Mexico and I'm not sure how he would feel about the surgery. I just want to do something for myself. I'm not sure what I would say when I came home and I'm wondering if it's possible to say nothing at all. Crazy right? Or not? I don't know -

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I'm just started my 6 month diet. I am only told my hubs, my oldest son, daughter in law, mom, step dad and one friend. They are all very supportive. I know my sisters and nieces will be as well, and I will tell them, but probably after. I am not ashamed, I just don't want or need the added pressure. I am blessed, my family wants me to get this weight off and will be very supportive. I just need to tell them in MY time.

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This may seem crazy and I'm not quite sure how it will play out yet but I haven't told a soul - not even my Husband. I'm going in Feb to have it done after a business trip. I just don't want to hear anyone's input. My husband wouldn't like that I'm going to Mexico and I'm not sure how he would feel about the surgery. I just want to do something for myself. I'm not sure what I would say when I came home and I'm wondering if it's possible to say nothing at all. Crazy right? Or not? I don't know -

Way crazy!! Haha. He's going to see your incisions, right? Wow keep us updated!

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This may seem crazy and I'm not quite sure how it will play out yet but I haven't told a soul - not even my Husband. I'm going in Feb to have it done after a business trip. I just don't want to hear anyone's input. My husband wouldn't like that I'm going to Mexico and I'm not sure how he would feel about the surgery. I just want to do something for myself. I'm not sure what I would say when I came home and I'm wondering if it's possible to say nothing at all. Crazy right? Or not? I don't know -

I think you'll have to tell him when you get back, won't he notice that for 2 weeks your having only liquids? And then 2 weeks of puréed foods, he will think that's really weird. And he will see your incisions.

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And there is my conundrum. Ithink I'll have no choice but to tell him when I get back. But by then I'll be asking for forgiveness and not permission. But that also feels strange. I don't know - I just don't need to hear all the negativity - I hate that more than anything.

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for the 3mts I was making up my mind I told no one, once I knew this is what I want I told my partner and 2 sets of very close friends, I only told my family before christmas but that was because we were told I would be having the op in January, with all the delays going on I wont be having it till June, I now wish I didnt tell them all as they keep asking when is it or you wont go through with it, i was stronger when no one knew,

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And I think that's part of it too. I never do anything for just me. There is absolutely nothing private in my life - and I just want this decision, experience to belong to me.

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This may seem crazy and I'm not quite sure how it will play out yet but I haven't told a soul - not even my Husband. I'm going in Feb to have it done after a business trip. I just don't want to hear anyone's input. My husband wouldn't like that I'm going to Mexico and I'm not sure how he would feel about the surgery. I just want to do something for myself. I'm not sure what I would say when I came home and I'm wondering if it's possible to say nothing at all. Crazy right? Or not? I don't know -

If I am not mistaken. Its state law for a person having surgery to have another person accompany them while in surgery.

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I am a very private person. I only told my parents. I do not want answer questions about the surgery.

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What r u telling your bosses?

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I only told my immediate family and my best friend. Not that it's any big secret, I just don't want to be barraged with questions. If anyone ever sees the surgery scars, I'm going to tell'em it's a gunshot wound I got in a drive-by. Original Gangsta in the house! :P

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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