Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone. So yesterday, I had a breakdown. Crying and all. I have not had qualms or fears until the last few days. I knew that would happen. My son (22) is having this with me and he admitted to a little fear about the anesthesia and he is one who claims no fear to anything, ever. So, the closer you get to it, the more your fears start emerging. I'm afraid I will be a basket case as they are prepping me for surgery and hopefully they will give me something for the crazies. I had a hysterectomy in 2007 using just a spinal (which I requested) and happy juice. No fears, no intubation and I don't remember the surgery at all, just one or two flashes, because I just slept. I wish they would do that for this.

It's funny how you missing eating. Not the food itself, really, just the eating it part. For me anyway. We were Skyping with our family in Connecticut last night so we could be together for Christmas eve (we have no one here in our new state of Nevada and we are really not even celebrating this year what with the surgery and the expense of it and all, it is kind of lonely ), but I kept asking everyone to eat things in front of the camera so that I could watch their enjoyment. Living vicariously through Skype! Sad.

I was also thinking about my sleeping arrangements for the next week or so after Thursday. My bed is very high and my sofas are very low. Here is me; climbing up to get into bed or pulling myself up off the sofa, which will be easier? Oh, the dilemma.

It has been tough. We've been living paycheck to paycheck since I don't have a job here in the state with the worst unemployment. I'm hoping to start CNA training after I lose some of my excess weight and hopefully get back some energy. I would like to be able to help people and give back to my community and if I can get paid doing it, that will be great. I am not sure what the job market is for CNAs here, but when I look for listings for the jobs, it says they're available. I am normally a secretary, but those jobs, while out there, have so many applicants for each, it is a very tough market.

Well, I have probably rambled enough. Good luck to all of us preoppers and once again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.

My husband has his on the 27th also.. I had mine on the 20th of dec. I too had what I called a panic moment.. started to cry.. I wasnt sure what to expect even tho Ive watched a video of the surgery. I had all sorts of things going thru my head.. but I did it.. I woke up and poof.. there I was in recovery. and off to my room. got to my room..and decided im not laying in this bed..and got up to the chair. I too had the bed couch dilemma. sooooo I sat in a big chair at home..and figured out a way to get into the bed too.. almost slept in the chair cuz it was more comfy. soon after the surgery.. all those fears went away.. its like ok.. piece of cake.. I did it... I know you will be great too.. I will be there for my husband just as he was there for me.. I wish you all the best of luck.. and keep posting. let us all know how you are doing.

Thank you, Nancy. That was so nice of you. Good luck to your husband also and continued success to you.