Hi,

I'm post op a little over 2 weeks. Before surgery. I had lived with my SO for 5 years. we had good and bad times. For the past 2 weeks while recovering, i stayed with my parents. And surprisingly, I really enjoyed it. The issue now is, what should I do? My relationship has been so painful for me and he tends to not treat me well. I know I should leave. I should have left years ago. My issue is: what do I say?

I'm 23,I haven't lived at home since I was 19. I find that though I just came back to my SOs house, I am constantly thinking about my family. The environment was better for me there than it is here.

Any advice? I promised myself that I would change my life around when I got my sleeve. And my feelings for my SO have changed so much.

Thanks.

Thanks for all the advice. I talked to my dad and mow I'm waiting for my step mom. If she says yes, I'm officially moving back in.

I'm kind of sad. What if this doesn't work out? Or what if they kick me out in the long run?

Thanks for all the advice. I talked to my dad and mow I'm waiting for my step mom. If she says yes' date=' I'm officially moving back in.

I'm kind of sad. What if this doesn't work out? Or what if they kick me out in the long run?[/quote']

Do you really want to stay long term?

I want to stay until I'm ready to leave. Until I have enough money for an apartment of my own. So 6 months to a year.

I want to stay until I'm ready to leave. Until I have enough money for an apartment of my own. So 6 months to a year.

I guess just make sure you discuss this timeframe with them so everyone has the same expectations. Good luck and if you make the move, just enjoy concentrating on yourself for a bit.

So my step mom said no. How depressing. And although my dad said yes, it really doesn't matter. He said for me to go ahead and move in. But I don't want to force myself on them Either. Maybe I'll look into renting a room.

Oh that sucks

It's okay. It reminds me that there is a reason I never ask for favors. Because it sucks when people say no

So my step mom said no. How depressing. And although my dad said yes' date=' it really doesn't matter. He said for me to go ahead and move in. But I don't want to force myself on them Either. Maybe I'll look into renting a room.[/quote']

Really. Wow. Without prying into all of that.... I mean... Wtf? You'd think she would love to help her husband's child. Does she know you're trying to leave an abuser?

I'm shocked.

I'm of the mind to pack my crap and go. When you've found a place, pack up, THEN tell him you're not happy and you're leaving and if he tries to stop you, call the police. In some states you can have the police escort you out.

Keep us posted and hang in there!

Really. Wow. Without prying into all of that.... I mean... Wtf? You'd think she would love to help her husband's child. Does she know you're trying to leave an abuser?

I'm shocked.

I'm of the mind to pack my crap and go. When you've found a place' date=' pack up, THEN tell him you're not happy and you're leaving and if he tries to stop you, call the police. In some states you can have the police escort you out.

Keep us posted and hang in there![/quote']

Of you dad says you can stay then just stay. You are better off at your dads where you can get your head sorted and clear, rather than staying stuck in an abusive relationship. If you don't do this now then you might find yourself stuck back in a rut and that's the last thing you want. At least if your at your dads then your safe. Use the fact that you know your stepmum doesn't want you there as an incentive to save as hard and fast as you can, so that you can truly start your new life journey.

You said you felt very comfortable at home when you stayed for 2 weeks while you recovered so your Stepmother can't be too bad. Why don't you go and talk to her personally and tell her about the problems in your relationship. Tell her how much you would appreciate her support to get out of this relationship and become independent.

Mostly though, do not think that by leaving you could be doing the wrong thing. Leaving a partner hurts, even leaving an abusive partner but when the hurt subsides you will know that you made the right decision.

You have already taken a huge step to change your life and become happier with you, don't let anything stand in your way or hold you back!!

I agree with the other posts so won't repeat them ill just add, be safe think things out, you don't want to end up a lifetime movie

If he isn't treating you right then you deserve better! Stay true to you! Sometimes a fresh start is good!

I am also two weeks out like you, and I have been (very) over weight all my life. When it come to relationships being over weight we tend to feel like we are second class citizens and accept relationships with people that don't treat us as we deserve. Soon your weight wont be an issue because you had surgery on your body from now on we have to do surgery on our minds. I cant help to think maybe we don't feel like second class citizens because we are overweight, but we became overweight because we feel like we are second class citizens. Maybe your SO is some of the emotional weight you have to loose, and please don't ever accept any one that doesn't treat you like the most special girl in the world.

You know what Kenny Rogers said oh-so-long ago:

Sometimes you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run.

Run girl, run!! I think it's time.