Sharon Osbourne is removing her band

[cammy 0]

If she had Bulemia she was NOT a candidate for the band to begin with.. No contientious surgeron would place a band in a bulemic patient. Shame on the doctor who placed the band (if he was aware of the bulemia)

Um... you do realise they band bulimics frequently right? Even when they have a normal BMI. Banding a bulimic helps them more than it hinders them. Banding an annorexic would be wrong, banding a bulimic is the road to a cure for many. Most bulimics are NOT thin. They are maintence bulimics - they purge enough to maintain their high weights and not gain higher. When people try to 'help' them out of their problem they gain weight like crazy. This is where the band helps. Once the food is through the band that's it, there is no throwing it back up. There is no bending over to pick something up and the food automatically coming back from a lifetime of bulimia auto-reflex. Bulimics are perfect candiates for the band - probably more so than regular people. I don't see your logic at all - espeically saying shame on the doctor - it was probalby the best thing for her at the time. I can totally understand her behaviour - she isn't actually throwing up, she's just PB'ing, it's not food coming back from her lower stomach rather her pouch.... which she probably doesn't fill too full before PB'ing lest it go through to her normal stomach (where she can't purge it painlessly from). The hunger that is going to come when the band is removed isn't going to be cured with head work and that's going to be a huge battle for her. Maintence bulimics usually become that way because they have such strong hunger pains and don't want to keep gaining weight - not because they want to be size 10.

Remember also for long-term bulimics there is no pain or anything with purging, it's practically a reflex. Think about what it's like to just think "I shouldn't have eaten that" and bam it's back back in your mouth if you think it before it's gone through the band (and if you have no band if you think it anytime from 5 mins to 3 hrs it can be back just like that). That's what it's like for a lot of long-term bulimics and thats why it's hard to quit the habbit. Even if they desperately try. The band helps, once it's through it's through and there is no bringing it back.... the 'window of opportuity' to purge is so short that it helps you get out of the habbit. Going from 4 times a day to once a week is significant progress. Without the band her teeth could have rotted from the stomach acid; high esophogal cancer risks etc, heart problems. Denying these people the band would be the shameful thing to do... not the opposite.

Hope I have educated a few people - people with a form of bulimia are not less deserving of the band. If they were at least half of the people I personally know with the band would not be candidates.

[Betsyjane 2]

Why the nastiness about Sharon? I don't have kids with drug problems and I'm not being defensive, and I don't believe in swearing around kids....I also don't believe what I see on TV about people's lives on "reality shows".

All I want is to not spend my time being negative or being around put downs, and I want is to wish anyone well who is dealing with weight issues.

[cammy 0]

If I could teach every kid in America one thing, it would be this: Take responsibility for yourself...for everything you say, for everything you do, and for your own sexuality. If you spill it, clean it up; if you break it, replace it; if you are wrong, admit it; if you hurt someone, apologize. You will be a better person for it, instead of a sniveling, finger-pointing, cry-baby loser.

Amen to that!

[Betsyjane 2]

Oh poo. ALL parents ruin their children. And ALL parents enhance their children. We're all human and no one is a perfect parent or child. Bravo to those who choose the best of what their parents have to offer, and bravo to those who didn't, but are trying to change.

(Not sure how my prior post was posted out of sequence, but I was talking about Sharon in the last post.)

[Dianechef 3]

I think both sides are absolutely right!!

Parents are THE biggest influences on their children. We teach by example. However, despite our best efforts, our children will choose thier own behavior. If we do the best we can as a parent, our chances of having good, successful children are better. I know my kids will make thier own choices in life. I don't plan on just letting them out into the world to do that on their own. I would hope they would see what a good person is by the example of their parents. Then, once they have learned that, they will go out into the world & make their own choices.

My concience feels better knowing that I did the very best I could. Then, I just hope & pray that something sunk in along the way.

[Betsyjane 2]

Hey, that was really interesting about bulemics. Thanks!

[*susan* 1,709]

I believe I am a very good parent. I have always been very open with my children from the time they were old enough to talk about sex, drugs, alcohol, crime, you name it. I try to instil in them good morals. I try to teach them right from wrong. However, I am not with them every minute of every day. They are faced with choices every day when I am not with them. All I can do is hope and pray that when faced with those decisions, mom's good upbringing rings louder in their ears than the peer that is pressuring them and they choose to do the right thing. However, if they were to make a wrong decision, which thankfully they never have, I do not think I would feel responsible for that. I did everything in my power as a parent to teach them what they should do. That is all I can do. From there on out, it is up to them.

The bottom line is, kids from good homes go bad and kids from bad homes go good. But, everyone needs to stop hiding behind their parents, childhood or upbringing as an excuse for why they do drugs, alcohol or crime and accept responsibility for their own behavior. I doubt anyone held a gun to their head and forced them to take that drink, smoke the pot, abuse a child, etc. They made a conscious choice to do it and they need to own up to it, accept responsibility for it and accept the consequences.

[Mountaindont 0]

"Carol Burnett had a child in drug rehab while she was "off being a celebrity". Was she a bad mom, too? Paul Newman's son Scott died as a result of his drug habit, as did Carroll O'Connor's. Were they rotten parents? "

Absolutely they were horrible parents if thier kids were on drugs while at around high school age or younger. Young kids are just that, kids. Its the parents job to raise them properly. If they have a busy schedule and they cant do this then they are not being good parents.

Stop looking for reasons to take the blame off the parents.

[Mountaindont 0]

"And yet my daughter's life is a train wreck. And whose fault is that? It's HERS. "

I`ll agree with that if all of her drug problems started as an adult and out of high school. If these problems started in the high school years or before then I blame the parents. Children need to be raised in a manner that they learn about lifes evils at a young age so when they get older drugs/crime isnt a option. So many parents wait until the problem happens and then they start to address it. Then the parents want to blame everyone else but themselves.

[*susan* 1,709]

"Carol Burnett had a child in drug rehab while she was "off being a celebrity". Was she a bad mom, too? Paul Newman's son Scott died as a result of his drug habit, as did Carroll O'Connor's. Were they rotten parents? "

Absolutely they were horrible parents if thier kids were on drugs while at around high school age or younger. Young kids are just that, kids. Its the parents job to raise them properly. If they have a busy schedule and they cant do this then they are not being good parents.

Stop looking for reasons to take the blame off the parents.

Ok, not trying to further instigate here, but you remind me of a relative of mine. When she states her opinion, it is law, she is right and that is the end of that. Nobody elses opinion matters unless it supports hers. You can present her with all the factual information to show she is wrong, but it doesn't matter. She is right, she knows everything. End of story.

I really don't believe for one minute that Carlene or anyone else is a bad parent because of the choices her daughter made. Just because one is under the magical age of 18 doesn't mean they don't know the difference between right and wrong. Does that mean when a 13 year old kills someone, they should not be tried for it, but their parents should be. Even if their parents are very good parents, go to church, have high morals and always talked to their kids? Bull. Even at age 13, the kid knows the difference by then between right and wrong. We can teach them as best we can. All we can do is hope they remember what we have taught them and make the right choice. If they don't, that does not mean we are bad parents or that we screwed up. It is not our fault. It just means they were faced with a lot of pressure and made the wrong choice even though they probably knew it was wrong. What the good parent then does is make the child realize they made a poor choice, make them own up to it and accept the consequences for it and hope they learn a good, hard, lifelong lesson from it.

Unless you live in Oz, then everything is different. Do you live in Oz?

[Betsyjane 2]

We all have free will, at any age. Children that are brought up well are still not in their parents' sight all the time and as youngsters, are still developing and can be tempted. Parents have a big responsibility and should step up to it. And even then, things can happen. I just don't see the world as such a black and white place. It stifles my ability to engage in critical thinking.

[Betsyjane 2]

We all have free will, at any age. Children that are brought up well are still not in their parents' sight all the time and as youngsters, are still developing and can be tempted. Parents have a big responsibility and should step up to it. And even then, things can happen. I just don't see the world as such a black and white place. It stifles my ability to engage in critical thinking. If everyting is only right or wrong with no gray areas, then I get the chance

[Betsyjane 2]

We all have free will, at any age. Children that are brought up well are still not in their parents' sight all the time and as youngsters, are still developing and can be tempted. Parents have a big responsibility and should step up to it. And even then, things can happen. I just don't see the world as such a black and white place. It stifles my ability to engage in critical thinking. If everyting is only right or wrong with no gray areas, then I get the chance to

[Betsyjane 2]

We all have free will, at any age. Children that are brought up well are still not in their parents' sight all the time and as youngsters, are still developing and can be tempted. Parents have a big responsibility and should step up to it. And even then, things can happen. I just don't see the world as such a black and white place. It stifles my ability to engage in critical thinking. If everyting is only right or wrong with no gray areas, then I get the chance to be perfect! And I'm not. I'm human, hoping someday to be in a

[Betsyjane 2]

We all have free will, at any age. Children that are brought up well are still not in their parents' sight all the time and as youngsters, are still developing and can be tempted. Parents have a big responsibility and should step up to it. And even then, things can happen. I just don't see the world as such a black and white place. It stifles my ability to engage in critical thinking. If everyting is only right or wrong with no gray areas, then I get the chance to be perfect! And I'm not. I'm human, hoping someday to be in a perfect