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I am currently dating someone that I met a month after I had the surgery...she is really nice...real sweet. Buuuut I am not use to all this attention I am now getting...it feels soo good, I dont want to be in a commited relationship. I want to get out in enjoy the new me!! I never thought that I would feel this way before the surgery , I dont want to hurt the person I am with now... has anybody else been in this postion before and how did you handle it?

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I think honesty is the only way to go. As long as she knows that you want to date others, she can make her own decision regarding whether she wants to continue seeing you. Just be sure you are not tossing aside the prize catch just to chase after a bunch of bait fish. LOL.

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Sharon u said something then baby!! I dont have time for no catfish!!!!!!!!!!!

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The grass always looks greener on the other side. If your happy with the one your with, see were it leads. No rush take your time.

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I would personally take things slow. Let her know what you desire UP FRONT. But the flip side is that you can't be mad if she finds someone else either. :-) Just a chance you got to take. Make sure you are making the right decision, and stick by it! Good luck!

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What about asking for a little break...There's nothing wrong with wanting to be single for a while.. Just don't be trifling, sneaky and lying about it... If you are meant to be together, no matter how much attention you get, weight you lose or other women you meet, NONE of it will compare to have her in your life... NONE of it...

Just be honest and tell her why.. She may be a little hurt, but I think she will see your point... Good luck!!

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I am currently dating someone that I met a month after I had the surgery...she is really nice...real sweet. Buuuut I am not use to all this attention I am now getting...it feels soo good' date=' I dont want to be in a commited relationship. I want to get out in enjoy the new me!! I never thought that I would feel this way before the surgery , I dont want to hurt the person I am with now... has anybody else been in this postion before and how did you handle it?[/quote']

Be honest with her and tell her what you said here. You didn't know you'd find yourself wanting to explore the new slimmer you and all it brings to the table. She may stick around or she may jump ship.

My bf and I just broke up. I have had some offers but have no intentions on being in a serious relationship until I have lived the life I'm going to have with weight loss.

Good luck

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Absolutely normal to feel this way. Thus the many spouses who don't want their husbands/wives to have this surgery. It is especially hard if you've never been thin before.

Be honest but not cruel. What you don't say...now that I've got my sexy back, I want options including those that may look better than you. What you do say...you are not ready to be in a committed relationship (if that's the truth) but that you wouldn't mind still seeing her (also if the truth).

Do not, continue to be the same, saying you want something different. This is only going to confuse her and cause drama down the line. Give her the opportunity to make a choice to be with or without you. She may be fending off offers too.

Now I do have to say, give real thought to what Cami said above. If she was willing and even found you attractive before the weight loss, you know she is really into you. I've seen this happen with myself and a few friends, we lost the weight everyone wanted us, then over time, we realized it was mostly about how we looked and not who we were. Waste of time and relationships.

Take your time and enjoy your new life. Be honest and things will work themselves out one way or another.

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I am currently dating someone that I met a month after I had the surgery...she is really nice...real sweet. Buuuut I am not use to all this attention I am now getting...it feels soo good' date=' I dont want to be in a commited relationship. I want to get out in enjoy the new me!! I never thought that I would feel this way before the surgery , I dont want to hurt the person I am with now... has anybody else been in this postion before and how did you handle it?[/quote']

Yes, I know what you mean. Getting flirts left and right out there going to the movies, shopping in the mall, walking on the trails, etc. I am happily married and mostly find this all amusing. Not getting noticed was one of my biggest pet peeves in my adult life and mostly find this amusing. It sure lifts my confidence as a man.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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