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- GLP-1 medication Zepbound, Wegovy, access, side effects, progress, and support.
- Before surgery Compare procedures, plan ahead, and get honest pre-op answers.
- Post-op Recovery, food stages, symptoms, and support.
- Long-term Regain, labs, habits, and life after the honeymoon.
- Revision Explore revision options, complications, and next steps.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
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My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said,
"No, but I got the license plate."
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Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
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A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.
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I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"
She said, "No, I hate myself now."
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I knew a girl soo ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
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I knew a girl soo ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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I was such an ugly baby,when I was born the Dr. slapped my Mother.
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I went to see my DR.,DR.Vinnie Goomba. He asked if I had this before? I said, "yes".
He said, "well you got it again".
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I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
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The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked "Why?"
He said "Because you came home early."
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My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for alka-seltzer.
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I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on! I can hear the Fruit of the Loom guys giggling.
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At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
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My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.