female only To Tell Or Not To Tell Your Significant Other

[beba238 123]

Thank you. Your words are very inspirational! I am lucky to not have to do this out of pocket and I'm glad my family supports me. Thanks!

This is a major surgery. What if you were having another procedure done that required a 2-3 day hospital stay and a removal of part of an organ? would you tell him then? Please don't judge yourself for having this done and please don't let your partner make you feel bad about yourself for doing something that is right for you. I can tell you from expereince it is better to be alone than in a relationship with someone who is not supportive and does not put you first. Lots of overweight people would love to have this surgery to help them but can not due to insurance and money if you so blessed to be having this surgery be happy and proud and I hope once you have lost the weight you will feel so great about yourself you will only surround yourself with those who support you!

[VSGJean 68]

I didn't tell my in-laws because I didn't want them to judge me. My husband had to tell them once I left for Mexico. They have been very supportive, but I am upset with them because they went around and told EVERYONE!! I didn't want to tell people because I didn't want to be judged. What if I fail?? I don't want people watching what I eat and think, there she goes again.... I'm more likely to tell a total stranger that I've had the surgery. I do NOT discuss it on FB, only a handful of friend know I've had the surgery. I think mostly because I don't want my friends to know how big I've gotten over the years.

[beba238 123]

Congratulations on your surgery and your weight loss!!!! I'm afraid that will happen but its part of life... either he takes it or he leaves it and we have to think about ourselves because we need to love ourselves before loving others!

I hope you and your guy can work things out! Good Luck!

I was in the same situation as you. I told my boyfriend while I was completing the insurance requirements, and he became so difficult about the surgery, that I felt I couldn't deal with it anymore. We broke up a few weeks before the surgery. Because we don't live together, I was able to focus on the journey without having to worry about what he was feeling. This was about me getting healthy, not about his insecurities. We started dating again, but it hasn't been easy.

[beba238 123]

I've been very picky about who to tell because people begin to give there opinion when no one asked for it. It is annoying and its a chain. you tell one person and half your fb friends will know by the end of the week. I dont care that people find out about me having the surgery after i've had it done.... but right now it is a sensitive subject and i really prefer to keep it between my close friends and family and soon my bf.

I didn't tell my in-laws because I didn't want them to judge me. My husband had to tell them once I left for Mexico. They have been very supportive, but I am upset with them because they went around and told EVERYONE!! I didn't want to tell people because I didn't want to be judged. What if I fail?? I don't want people watching what I eat and think, there she goes again.... I'm more likely to tell a total stranger that I've had the surgery. I do NOT discuss it on FB, only a handful of friend know I've had the surgery. I think mostly because I don't want my friends to know how big I've gotten over the years.

[ashleyxx 277]

I have been with my BF for about the same ammount of time, when I first told him he was kind of shocked and was worried. He was against it at first, but I told him its my choice, I have to live in this body and explained to him everything, he came around and has supported me 100%. I am so glad I have had surgery and he is also, I can do so much more things and not get winded and be in horrible pain.

P.S. Sex is so MUCH better! haha

[beba238 123]

lol thanks for sharing!!!! How did you tell him if you don't mind me asking?

I have been with my BF for about the same ammount of time, when I first told him he was kind of shocked and was worried. He was against it at first, but I told him its my choice, I have to live in this body and explained to him everything, he came around and has supported me 100%. I am so glad I have had surgery and he is also, I can do so much more things and not get winded and be in horrible pain.

P.S. Sex is so MUCH better! haha

[mwrarr 244]

I've been with my BF for 3 years & I was hesitant to tell him at first too bc I wasn't sure HOW to word it. We live together, but I'm not close with his family myself. I basically just one day said, "ya know, I'm sick of hurting...." he thought I was breaking up with him!! Lol My only request from him was that he not tell anyone until I was sure this was going to happen. He's been a lot more supportive than I expected, & I'm glad I didnt hide it like I originally considered. (btw...we talked about that once & he said he'd have been so hurt & probably would've seriously reconsidered our relationship)

347*294/285/143 (*347HW/294SSW)

[beba238 123]

Thank you so much for sharing with me. I wish you guys many more years to come!

I've been with my BF for 3 years & I was hesitant to tell him at first too bc I wasn't sure HOW to word it. We live together' date=' but I'm not close with his family myself. I basically just one day said, "ya know, I'm sick of hurting...." he thought I was breaking up with him!! Lol My only request from him was that he not tell anyone until I was sure this was going to happen. He's been a lot more supportive than I expected, & I'm glad I didnt hide it like I originally considered. (btw...we talked about that once & he said he'd have been so hurt & probably would've seriously reconsidered our relationship)

347*294/285/143 (*347HW/294SSW)

[Frza 194]

I told my guy after I had already decided I getting sleeved. I didn't know where or when it was going to happen, but I had my heart set on it. I had a physical and came home from that sad and depressed. I shared with my BF how miserable I was and how hopeless I felt about doing WW again. He listened to me and said "how about getting a lapland?" his coworker had success with that. I couldn't believe he brought up WLS! I tol him about the sleeve and that I was interested and felt it might be my last hope. I shared my fears about the surgery, my shame about not being able to do this on my own, and the pain I'd be holding in. He finally said, "let's do it!" as if he were having surgery too! I am Si thankful for his support & I appreciate his ability to keep a lid on it as I havent shared this with many others.

My advice is, be honest about your reasons for choosing sleeve. Make him understand how important it is for you. I'm sure he'll support you and your request for privacy. Good luck!

[Dooter 1,457]

Tell him. Absolutely no question about it.

[Donedeal091212 5]

Your going to need him. For support and when you come home. It ain't easy!!! If I didn't have my husband helping me for a week. I would not have made it. Helping get you up off the couch. Go the bathroom shower get out of bed. All if it. Believe me!!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I think it's not a real relationship if you are thinking as you are. If I were him I'd leave you because you sprung it on him that way.

You are clearly feeling more like your old self.

[ashleyxx 277]

lol thanks for sharing!!!! How did you tell him if you don't mind me asking?

I didnt do anything special. He was over one day and I thought said, you know I have been thinking about WLS, I have insurance now and they are covering it, I've done a lot of research and Im going to go to some seminars and learn more. Thats basicly what I told him.

[beba238 123]

Awww that's wonderful. Your most made me emotional. I'm sure he'll supportive. And I think I should tell him soon. Your guy is wonderful! I wish you two the best of luck and you good luck with your weight loss!

I told my guy after I had already decided I getting sleeved. I didn't know where or when it was going to happen' date=' but I had my heart set on it. I had a physical and came home from that sad and depressed. I shared with my BF how miserable I was and how hopeless I felt about doing WW again. He listened to me and said "how about getting a lapland?" his coworker had success with that. I couldn't believe he brought up WLS! I tol him about the sleeve and that I was interested and felt it might be my last hope. I shared my fears about the surgery, my shame about not being able to do this on my own, and the pain I'd be holding in. He finally said, "let's do it!" as if he were having surgery too! I am Si thankful for his support & I appreciate his ability to keep a lid on it as I havent shared this with many others.

My advice is, be honest about your reasons for choosing sleeve. Make him understand how important it is for you. I'm sure he'll support you and your request for privacy. Good luck![/quote']

[beba238 123]

Thanks. I never really thought about it that way! He helps me so much now. I can imagine when I get surgery. Thanks for ur comment.

Your going to need him. For support and when you come home. It ain't easy!!! If I didn't have my husband helping me for a week. I would not have made it. Helping get you up off the couch. Go the bathroom shower get out of bed. All if it. Believe me!!