Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

You Don't Know Her Story, So Give Her A Chance....



Recommended Posts

Ok, so we all have been there (women. maybe some men) your at work and the new girl/guy walks in and well, she's/he's beautiful/good looking. I don't know about the rest of you but I can appreciate a beautiful/handsome women/man and not be jealous (confident in me). However, what happens when the attractive newbe, is you? I'll tell you what happens, women hate you at first glance, men can't do enough for you. And don't even bother complaining about the unfair treatment by the women because your boss may tell you, "not that this is an excuse, but your are very pretty." Trust me when I say this, this s$!& sucks. I'm so may other things other then pretty. More then attractive, I'm intelligent, I'm caring and would do anything for you and I am the nicest pretty girl you've ever meet, because being fat makes you that way. You end up trying harder to make people like you to get them to see through the weight. Honestly, I am so glad I was fat. It has made me a

post-68337-13838396267626_thumb.png

[ATTACH]5440[/ATTACH]

wonderfully rounded, (pun intended) internally beautiful person that is only now visible externally. So be nice to the newbe, it maybe you one day.

post-35445-13813660359276_thumb.png

post-35445-13813660359712_thumb.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You look fantastic! I don't know what to say to help you cope with your coworkers, but I liked your post. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Interesting viewpoint. As an obese woman I have also been judged (lazy, obviously abused as a child, self-hater,etc.) and not considered "professional" enough for promotion. It doesn't matter if we're young, old, fat, thin, ugly, pretty.... other people are going to be cruel and petty. Not all, but always some.

So yes, I agree with you - being a fat woman is/was the best thing for my personal growth. It has shaped who I am and has given me, hopefully, empathy for all of my fellow humans.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am in the same boat. I tried hard to be nice so people would like me when I was big, and now that I've lost so much weight I've noticed people treat me very differently. Men especially will fall over themselves just because I smiled at them and asked a question - the same exact question and way I would have before.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it's hard and like they said above haters are going to hate. Continue being yourself and forget about them. They are obviously insecure in themselves. Sad to say, we don't go to work to make friends. We go to earn money to pay bills and live our lives. It's nice if you meet some nice folks along the way, but you know who your true friends are and who has your back. Not these folks.

I had a number of co workers be outwardly mean to mean. They would call me rich girl and they thought I was a snob and thought I was better than them. Instead of getting upset, I always smiled and moved on. I was always pleasant and kill them with kindness. I knew it drove them nuts! Because I never gave them the power to control my feelings. Misery loves company and they wanted me to feel bad too! I would just smile and keep on moving. Eventually they came around and realized I was truly a nice person. Now, I'm not saying we became the best of friends, but work was tolerable. I found out many years later that they all had major issues in their home lives and it's why they were who they were. I was never mean to them and I guess in their own way appreciated that because now when I see them I'm greeted with warm smiles.

You're right, you never know anyone's story. Keep doing what you have to do and kill them with kindness. It'll drive them crazy! ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ironic, don't you think! I was passed over for a promotion because of how I looked (but II doubt they would ever admit it). It's also painful to know discrimination first hand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been told I am pretty, I was a model when I was a teen, and when I was thin I never had those problems at work. I noticed; however, that you cannot be too nice, or everyone will try to walk over you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess it depends on your support group. I have known my wife since we were 18. We married at 30 and are now 57. So we have seen a wide range of body transition in each of us over near 40 years. When attended mandatory pre op support groups most of the younger girls were stressed about friends acting differently because they were no longer the big one or she was no longer looking to spend Friday night with a pizza. The older women would just say to get new friends. Guy's biggest issue was needing to cut beard for CPAP machine. Weight does not affect how we relate. We see Denzel and Clooney in the mirror Every morning

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Get off this board immediately!! Hehe

You are gorgeoussss!!!

I'm sorry about your coworkers, I pray they will change their ways once they get to know you.

For now just kill them with kindness!!! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Albany, now when I read your post I hear sexy Denzels voice!!!

Love your post, guys are so chill, very good trait!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seriously?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm on the phone app..

Can you tell us your surgery date and starting/ending weight!

You've done really good!! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×