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Fiance Mourns The Fatness



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My suggestion would be to have him check out these boards.

My hubbie created a 'secret' account here (as in didn't tell me until later) that it really really helped him with his worries and concerns.

It sounds like there is support there and some worry... which is natural. The boards might help ease his concerns and help him voice his support in a more... helpful way.

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I decided to just ask him. He seems to think he will miss it. He may, but he won't miss all that comes with it. Mainly the naps and me being in pain all the time.

I had to make sure he knows I am not doing this because I think it will make him happy. I am doing this for me. So I can play with my kids without SOB. So I can catch my daughter if she tries to run out into the street, cause, Man, is she fast....and sneaky! I am doing this so I can keep doing the job that I love, because, right now, It hurts so much and a job higher in management with paperwork and meetings is actually looking good, and I don't want that.

I think he just needed to know that if something happens to me during surgery, it's not his fault. He has never said anything negative about my weight in seven years, not even when we fight. (Most of our fights are about me sleeping all the time).

In short, even though I don't think he will miss the fatness once its gone, I'm glad he felt the need to tell me he loves me just the way I am.

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I decided to just ask him. He seems to think he will miss it. He may, but he won't miss all that comes with it. Mainly the naps and me being in pain all the time.

I had to make sure he knows I am not doing this because I think it will make him happy. I am doing this for me. So I can play with my kids without SOB. So I can catch my daughter if she tries to run out into the street, cause, Man, is she fast....and sneaky! I am doing this so I can keep doing the job that I love, because, right now, It hurts so much and a job higher in management with paperwork and meetings is actually looking good, and I don't want that.

I think he just needed to know that if something happens to me during surgery, it's not his fault. He has never said anything negative about my weight in seven years, not even when we fight. (Most of our fights are about me sleeping all the time).

In short, even though I don't think he will miss the fatness once its gone, I'm glad he felt the need to tell me he loves me just the way I am.

I am glad that you talked to him. Someone that truly loves you sees past the outer and loves you no matter what, and he obviously does. He will be a good support person through your surgery. My husband and I have been together for almost 14 years, and he also never said anything once about my weight.

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my husband and I are 17 years apart, He is older than me. Before i talked him into having surgery anytime I would talk about it he would say yeah you just want to get skinny so you can find a new man. He would say it jokingly but i think that was a concern for him. One day i finally told him dear if i was going to leave you I would do it skinny or not but I choose to stay with you because I love you. After that he kinda laid off that comment then i started talking about how much better our sex life would be! So now not only am I getting the surgery he is also! Feb 8th can not come soon enough

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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      1. This update has no replies.
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