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serious depression :( enter at your own risk



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i too know the depression but today i received the worst kick in the teeth ever, my husband is american and i am an aussie, we have been apart 2 years due to both our medical probs. i had gastric lap banding 7 weeks ago and was really starting to gain back confidence and self respect. today, my husbands Dr from VA Hosp called,, hubby is in critical condition and I cannot get there,plz plz my new american friends,,pray for him,,I cannot fly for many weeks due to other med probs,,,I really need this,,Carol

OMG... you must be terrified. We can hold you and your beloved in prayer. Which VA hospital is he in?

Keep praying, and hugs to you.

Jo Ann:hug: :hug: :hug:

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I want to thank all of you for your support through this hard time I am having. I went to the Dr. today and he is adding to my medicine and we are hoping this will do the trick. Meanwhile he signed the note for a leave of absence from school till the new year. Thanks again, you have no idea how much all of your support has meant to me the last couple of days.

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You took the right steps in seeing your MD and having your medications adjusted. As far as the messy house and the pile-up of laundry, etc. you can easily tackle those problems if you don't see it as an all or nothing task. If things are as bad as you described and you take it as an "all or nothing" job, you'll never even attempt to make a change for the better.

So, get out of bed, take a shower, grab a cup of coffee, a pen and some paper and start to make a priority list of what needs to be done. One day you can get the laundry done. The next day you can change the linen on the beds and get that laundry out of the way. The following day you can clean the bathroom. Make a daily schedule of jobs that you CAN realistically get done. As you make progress, you'll feel better and be motivated to achieved more positive outcomes.

Take out another piece of paper and make some food menus out. Plan three hours to cook some healthy meals in advance and freeze them so you have food on hand when you don't feel like cooking.

Remember, one day at a time gets the jobs done so take that first step and start to make some positive changes. You CAN do it if you WANT to do it. Good luck!

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I feel a connection with all of you. I have been taking anti-depressants for more years than I can count. My house is a wreck and out of control. I am so (too) busy with activities outside the home between work, church and kid's activities that I don't see how I will ever get my house in order. My DH tries to help but it is never the way I would "do it" if I had the time. He is disabled from birth (hydocephallusy) and his perception of things is a bit skewed. Bless his heart, he tries and gives 150% effort. If I try to "fix" or re-do anything he has "cleaned" he gets his feelers hurt. I think the messy house is a big part of my depression.

ANYWAY, please know you are not alone in this. DO get medical intervention. Depression CAN be treated with medication and really makes the situation much better. I wish I could be of more help to you, but just knowing that you are not alone hopefully will make you feel better. We are always here for you.. Take care of yourself.

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Waterlily,

I have to say like many people have already posted, I know exactly where you are today too. I had a baby, then the baby was in the hospital for head trauma, then my father died while my baby was in the hospital (he lived with me) then two months later I was diagnosed with a terminal cancer.

I too have a wonderfully supportive DH and now I am cancer free. It has taken me a LONG and HARD road to get to where I am today. I know all about watching things pile up and not wanting to get out of bed.

I think you did the right thing going to your Dr., however don't expect immediate or instant results. I came out of my deep depression like a flower blooms in slow motion. It happened slowly over time. Don't beat yourself up over this any longer and do what you can when you can and no more.....until you can add more. Stress of any kind will be detrimental right now. My internal stress that I put on myself was more stressful than any thing else, be aware of this and try not to talk negatively to yourself.

You are not alone and these feelings happen to perfectly normal people.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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