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Does Anyone Go Back And Forth With Doubts?



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I'm in November too. I am for sure having the same problem. And now my car blew up, do I need a new car and here I have all this money from this loan in my account and I'm feeling selfish for not using it to buy a new car. But, I am the sole provider for my family of 5 and I walk around like Quasimodo. I need to fix me so I can continue to work and support my family. Tough decisions.

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I'm in November too. I am for sure having the same problem. And now my car blew up' date=' do I need a new car and here I have all this money from this loan in my account and I'm feeling selfish for not using it to buy a new car. But, I am the sole provider for my family of 5 and I walk around like Quasimodo. I need to fix me so I can continue to work and support my family. Tough decisions.[/quote']

Wow that is a tough decision! But I agree with you 100%! If makes you feel good to do something good floor yourself. You should not feel bad for that. Ill keep you in my prayers!

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Hi everyone' date='

I'm waiting for my sleeve to be done in November. I keep going back and forth about it. I wake up in the morning thinking "no way am I going through with this,... it's too extreme..." Then, as the day drags on, I change my mind and think about all the time I've wasted being fat and inactive, letting life go by. I've gone back and forth like this for months while waiting for my official date to be sleeved. I don't know if this is normal or if it's a good idea go through with the sleeve if I'm not 100% behind it. I do know that I'll probably never lose the weight any other way. It's so depressing. I keep thinking what a loser I am that I have to cut my stomach in order to lose weight, that I'm not strong enough or discipline enough to do it the "regular" way. Just need to talk this out...[/quote']

I had absolutely zero second thoughts about the procedure. Once I did the research and saw the positive/ negatives, it made me even more determined. I wish you the same certanty.

Sent from my iPad using VST

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YES, YES, & YES! I go thru this daily!! I'm having my band removed next week in prep for the sleeve in October. One minute I'm excited & the next I'm asking myself if this is really a good idea. My biggest & really only concern is gaining the weight back in say 3 or so years. Maybe it won't be possible to gain it ALL back??? I can be okay with gaining a few poounds back, but not the 85 I need to lose. I also have fears of "failure". My family looks at me as a person who never "follows thru", one who has no motivation for long periods of time. I have to say I do struggle with those areas. However, I really can't wait to get back into smaller sizes, being more active & getting as healthy as I can! I keep thinking if I get to my goal weight, there's no way I'll let myself get this big (& unhealthy) again. I think the key is tuning into why I overeat in the first place. Hang in there....you are not alone!!! This is a major surgery & so of course we're going to question it! I'll be praying for you..pray for me too, will you? :)

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OMG YES!!! I feel just the same way you do and I'm also scheduled for surgery in November... I run through all the "what if's" in my mind every single day, multiple times a day! I know I've tried EVERY single diet out there and it always comes back on and I'm not even a junk food or carb eater! It's the PCOS I have making it impossible to lose the weight. I too feel like this is my ONLY option to get healthy, but I fear it will stop working and the weight will pile back on. I have 3 kids, I go back and forth on what if something happens during surgery... but like everyone here has said.. nothing else has worked and I feel I've exhausted all other options, this is the only thing left to try. I will probably have second thoughts until the moment they put me out for the surgery. My brain never shuts off ever.. and I think and re-think and analyze and re-analyze until I make myself nuts!

We are all in this together so I'm trusting that this is the best and only option for me... even with the second thoughts!

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I feel like a kid who is going to disneyland. I'm feeling very impatient and can't wait for it to be my turn. I do worry about how permanent it is to have part of my stomach removed and then tossed in the trash but I've read lots of bad things about the remnant stomach that is left over from the rny and I think it's a good thing that I don't have to worry about it causing problems. As you can tell I'm overly excited about having this surgery and the fact that plastics (cosmetic surgery) is part of the package, I'm stocked :)

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@minkywinks_esposa HOW did you get cosmetic surgery thrown in there too???

They will be performing my surgery at the bariatric clinic on the Army base where my husband works and it's part of the package for all people who undergo weight loss surgery. They will be performing a Tummy Tuck and breast lift on me after I get to my weight goal. My friend had a tummy tuck about 8 months after her sleeve surgery, she weighed about 123 lbs and in a couple of months she will have her boobs done. We don't have to get approval for plastics through our insurance company (Tricare), our Army base makes up the requirements and everyone who has underwent wls can get plastics if that's what they want. They also do other elective procedures like taking the excess skin off your bicep/arms. My surgeon understands the benefits of plastics and the fact that excess skin can cause issues such as infections and plus having excess skin can cause self esteem issues or the need to wear girdles (sp?) or spanks for the rest of your life. I think it would be great if all insurances covered plastics. I think my aunts insurance covered plastics also but this was back in 2003 and I think a lot of insurance companies covered it at the time

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WOW that is a wonderful benefit and a great opportunity that is give to folks having WLS and have that kind of coverage! I definitely will need to get a Tummy Tuck, Lipo and something done with these arms of mine, but that will all be out of pocket and not covered so I'll probably have to wait a bit to get it all done after I reach goal. You are very lucky to have such a wonderful benefit! Your date is coming up soon, you must be very excited!

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Thank you all for your responses. I will pray for you tropicalgal and thank you for your prayers. I wish I had the same certainty as WhoozisAnyway -- what a great mind set. I think the determining factor is that if I don't do this, there will be no change in my life. One year, or two or three years from now, I'll still be where I am right now and that's just so sad. How wonderful it will be to be slim and to feel beautiful. To be healthy and energetic. I've always wanted to learn to surf or to kayak, or to salsa. I would love to wear jeans in heels and get a short, sassy hair cut that looks fabulous on my slimmer face. It all sounds superficial but it's the truth. That's what I will keep thinking about...

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Thank you all for your responses. I will pray for you tropicalgal and thank you for your prayers. I wish I had the same certainty as WhoozisAnyway -- what a great mind set. I think the determining factor is that if I don't do this' date=' there will be no change in my life. One year, or two or three years from now, I'll still be where I am right now and that's just so sad. How wonderful it will be to be slim and to feel beautiful. To be healthy and energetic. I've always wanted to learn to surf or to kayak, or to salsa. I would love to wear jeans in heels and get a short, sassy hair cut that looks fabulous on my slimmer face. It all sounds superficial but it's the truth. That's what I will keep thinking about...[/quote']

I was just so utterly weary of the struggle to control my weight. Then, in January, I badly reinjured my back and could barely walk. Even developed a bad limp the doctor warned might be permanent. On a trip in February, I had to be wheeled through the airport, then almost couldnt buckle my seatbelt on the plane. I realized I was getting a preview of the rest of my life if I didn't take control. That is why I had no doubts.

Sent from my iPad using VST

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This post have really made me feel better,because I thought I was alone with these scary thoughts.I wake up and go to bed thinking about this surgery,I am now waiting on approval from my insurance company.

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OMG YES!!! I feel just the same way you do and I'm also scheduled for surgery in November... I run through all the "what if's" in my mind every single day, multiple times a day! I know I've tried EVERY single diet out there and it always comes back on and I'm not even a junk food or carb eater! It's the PCOS I have making it impossible to lose the weight. I too feel like this is my ONLY option to get healthy, but I fear it will stop working and the weight will pile back on. I have 3 kids, I go back and forth on what if something happens during surgery... but like everyone here has said.. nothing else has worked and I feel I've exhausted all other options, this is the only thing left to try. I will probably have second thoughts until the moment they put me out for the surgery. My brain never shuts off ever.. and I think and re-think and analyze and re-analyze until I make myself nuts!

We are all in this together so I'm trusting that this is the best and only option for me... even with the second thoughts!

Your story is MY story too! Except for the PCOS making it impossible to lose weight. My issue is a multitude of health issues (thyroid cancer, multiple sclerosis, lupus....) I'm eating about 1200-1300 calories a day and cannot lose weight. I'm scared to death this surgery will be a failure and I will have gone through this for nothing. My surgeon told me not to worry -- that the body resets its "set points" after this surgery. I've tried to find more information about this but have only found short and vague references to the new set point theory. I just don't want to be a failure AGAIN. And of course I jump around from saying I wish I could have surgery in the morning to oh no, what if this doesn't work? What if I have serious complications like I've read a few of theVSTs here -- which are horror stories. What if my nausea ( I just know I will have nausea!!) lasts forever? I go from deep excitement to apprehension a hundred times a day. I think deep down I'm ready to take the risks because I realize it may be my only hope of finally being normal ( at age 49! I've been fat my whole life!)

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This post have really made me feel better,because I thought I was alone with these scary thoughts.I wake up and go to bed thinking about this surgery,I am now waiting on approval from my insurance company.

I wake up and go to bed thinking about this surgery too! It has taken over my life! Based on posts here, it seems like the first four months or so after surgery becomes almost a full time "job" of managing the commitment, attention, time and just day to day "operation" that is required to be successful.

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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