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Fat On Fat Prejudice?



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In another post, someone mentioned fat people bashing other fat people. The fat on fat thing is an interesting phenomenon. I'm embarrassed to say I don't really like fat people that I don't know. I think it's because I don't like myself and I blame myself for the condition I have allowed myself to deteriorate to. I look at them and see me.

But when I had lost weight in the past I was very, overly friendly to them. Maybe because I knew how they might feel about themselves and could sympathize when I "wasn't" in the same situation.

Am I alone? First psych appt. tomorrow. Is she going to have a field day with me?

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I never disliked other fat people. I am usually more focused on keeping my stomach in and trying to look as small as possible lmbo!

:D

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I was rarely ever around anyone as big as me. Now I've shrunk and I see some folks I've passed up, and I have to bite my tongue not to give them my surgeon's phone number. I don't hold any ill will toward obese people, but I just wanna say, "hey, this tool will help you too."

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I don't know that I dislike other fat people - but I sure as heck compare myself to them in my head. I think I have a hard time understanding how I look like to other people so I wonder to myself "Do I look that big too?" or something like that. I think I'm more likely to feel embarrassed for them, mostly because of my own embarrassment about my weight. But I have some fat friends too.

I could see where this would be common though, probably exactly what you were saying, disliking them because you dislike yourself.

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It is interesting when people criticize or feel superior, yet they themselves can't lose weight and keep it off, exercise regularly, eat healthy, etc.

People are just naturally wired up to be shallow when it comes to criticizing physical issues.

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I have to admit, (where's the confessions thread again?) I've hated on other big girls before. It may be for different reasons than others above cited. Being fat my entire life I am lumped into a group of stereotypes with every other overweight woman. I try, and believe I succeed, daily to defy those stereotypes. I don't dress in baggy clothing, have poor hygiene, eat fast food everyday, have a less than average IQ, sleep with every guy who shows interest in me, etc. These are some of the stereotypes of big women so when I see some doing these exact things it pisses me off. I don't want to be put in a box with those women. I don't want them to reflect poorly on me. I try to "represent" for what big beautiful women can be (even though I'm shrinking now).

However, if I see or meet another plus-size woman who dresses nicely, speaks well and walks with their head held high, I feel an instant kinship with them and will usually make an effort to make conversation as well.

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After reading this thread I discovered something interesting about myself.... Though I have no issue with looking in the mirror and calling myself fat, I just can't bring myself to use that word on someone else. I don't know it just makes me realize I should be nicer to myself.

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I'll admit that I don't like fat people who are sloppy, lazy, and fulfill every other stereotype about fat people. I feel that no matter what size you are, you still need to have a sense of pride and I hate seeing fat people in mumu's and run-over shoes and looking generally unkempt.

And yes, I do and always have distinguished myself from those types of fat people.

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I don't like this thread I think something's or left better un said ..

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I don't like this thread I think something's or left better un said ..

I agree i hate the F word. I just cant bring myself to use this adjative on another person.

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Maybe you'll think I'm nuts, but I've always liked fat people. I felt like we shared a common misery and that they would be easy to connect with because they had suffered as I had and knew the cruelties of others as I did. Weird how we all have radically different views!

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I don't like this thread I think something's or left better un said ..

I agree i hate the F word. I just cant bring myself to use this adjative on another person.

That's likely why it's in the "rants and raves" section.

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I find myself

Preaching to em. Like "mortgage your house your kids your car....whatever you have to do to break this addiction that is ruining your life and have the surgery." just like they are drug addicts, what I have to realize is that most of my friends and strangers don't want to hear this cause they think they are "not that big" I feel their pain but they totally gross me out when I watch the massive amounts of food they eat but only because that used to be me........

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I have to admit, (where's the confessions thread again?) I've hated on other big girls before. It may be for different reasons than others above cited. Being fat my entire life I am lumped into a group of stereotypes with every other overweight woman. I try, and believe I succeed, daily to defy those stereotypes. I don't dress in baggy clothing, have poor hygiene, eat fast food everyday, have a less than average IQ, sleep with every guy who shows interest in me, etc. These are some of the stereotypes of big women so when I see some doing these exact things it pisses me off. I don't want to be put in a box with those women. I don't want them to reflect poorly on me. I try to "represent" for what big beautiful women can be (even though I'm shrinking now).

However, if I see or meet another plus-size woman who dresses nicely, speaks well and walks with their head held high, I feel an instant kinship with them and will usually make an effort to make conversation as well.

You wrote everything in my head!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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