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I am a complete nervous wreck,, Tomorrow my husbdand and I are going out to dinner with two of his co-workers and their wives, neither of which I have met before, PLUS this will be my first time eating out in a restaurant since I was sleeved (6/21/12). I asked my hubby to find out about the restaurant so I could research their menu but he said it's an Italian place grrrrrr---that means almost every menu item will most likely include Pasta and of course the bread that they probably will place on the table. So i am scared of eating out plus eating in fron tof others. What if I overeat -which I have a tendency to do-and get sick thats gonna be embarrassing, and what if they notice my eating habits and think odd of me. I have gotten amazing support from you guys opn here and was wondering how some of you have handled a situation like this

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My suggestion....order broiled fish, and a soft(mashable) veggie, if they have one. Don't be afraid to just get the fish....and don't be embarrassed to take a pass on the Pasta, or anything else that's bad for you!! You've made a huge decision to have surgery, and to take control of food.....this is just an opportunity to do just that. Be in control of the situation, do what you need to do...FOR YOU...and don't worry what anyone else thinks about it! Best of luck!

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Antipasti is a platter of meat cheese olives and pepperoni, there is no Pasta in it and if they ask "that is all you are eating?" just tell them you currently don't have much of an appetite.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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Thank you so much, you are right and the suggestions are great, I am gonna try to see this as a new adventure and a new part of my life. I will concentrate on the conversation and not the food. I do mindlessy eat sometimes when I go out, or I used to that it..now maybe I will learn to pay more attention to my surroundings like artwork and things other than food. My husband is completely on my side and my number one cheerleader through this new life . I am sure they will have a chicken dish, I can order or another good Protein choice. I was thinking maybe a Soup or an appetizer as a main course , but I liek your suggestion better and I will enjoy the meal twice with the leftovers.

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Antipasti is a platter of meat cheese olives and pepperoni, there is no Pasta in it and if they ask "that is all you are eating?" just tell them you currently don't have much of an appetite.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

I have wondered since surgery how I would respond if someone mentioned my lack of appetite, and I have decided that I will be honest and just tell them that I've had the surgery and my stomach is small. After all I wouldn't have known abot the success of surgery if my sister in law wasn't so open about her gastric bypass.So maybe someone else will benefit from my experience too, and you know what even if they don't I have benefited in many ways !!!!

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My suggestion....order broiled fish, and a soft(mashable) veggie, if they have one. Don't be afraid to just get the fish....and don't be embarrassed to take a pass on the Pasta, or anything else that's bad for you!! You've made a huge decision to have surgery, and to take control of food.....this is just an opportunity to do just that. Be in control of the situation, do what you need to do...FOR YOU...and don't worry what anyone else thinks about it! Best of luck!

exactly...I am happy with the changes that I have experienced and I will learn how to handle this type of situation. I have made a positive choice to change my life and health for the better and I m gonna be proud of that

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While I have told my immediate family, when the time comes, I'm preparing to say that I had a hormonal imbalance (grehlin) and had a procedure to fix it. And now I can finally lose weight and keep it off. All true. This is assuming that I feel that I have to explain anything. I may tell certain people to mind their business since there was no concern from them while I was getting fat.

As for restaurants, I plan to just simply say I lost all but one tenth of my stomach to surgery and as a result, I can only eat small amounts. Regardless, I'll be truthful in what I say, even if I leave a few details out. Hopefully people can leave it at that, and don't feel it necessary to keep poking. If they do, an honest "Why do you ask?" should shut them up. They won't want to admit they're just nosy! LOL!

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I'm one that LOVES to eat also I will go with a Soup and salad. Ask for a to go box and store half of the food away in box prior to eating so you can limit what you eat. Other wives might look at you like what's going on...just say i'm controlling my portins and keep it moving

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I love italian restaurants because I order a bowl of sauce (no meat) and cheese baked on top- It is awesome- NO bread NO pasta.. It is very yummy!!

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Also you if you like fish most places offer a baked white fish that is very soft and you can order it baked with sauce on the side- and take home whatever you dont eat- also move your food around the plate that helps distract people if they focus on your not eating...

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I frequent an Italian restaurant and I order meatballs in sauce, or I order chicken parmisagn (sp?) with broiled chicken. There is my always go to safe Soup. I guess you could see if they have some type of non fried calamari, don't be afraid to ask for a special order, I always tell the waitress I just had surgery and cannot eat anything greasy. Good luck.

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All good suggestions. My two cents: who cares what people think? No explanations necessary. If they ask, I'll go with "i don't have much of an appetite".

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I have had plenty of dinner dates with friends and people who don't know about my surgery. Honestly, people are not paying attention to how you are eating; they are concerned with what they are eating. Just pick at your food, eat slow, and get a to go box. It's very common to take food home with you that you don't finish. If someone happens to mention it or ask you why you haven't eaten much, it's ok to tell them that you are dieting. If you're not comfortable with that, tell them that you have a stomach ache. You could also try blocking the view of your plate by placing the bread basket in front of it or something. But, as I said, I have noticed that people aren't really paying attention at all.

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Thanks everyone, your suggestions have helped me feel more comfortable, and excited about dinner tonight,I am focusing on the postive things ,like meeting new people and getting to know more people that work with my hubby...either way if its a great step ahead or a total bomb ( which I doubt) it will be just another day good or bad....Thanks for all of your perspectives...hubby says I worry too much about what others think and even though I know he's right it's a hard habit to break

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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