Harry constantly irritated his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "Well, it could have been worse."

To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Harry could find no hope in it. Approaching him at the club bar one day, one of them said, "Harry! Did you hear what happened to George? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself!"

"Terrible," said Harry. "But it could have been worse."

"How in hell," demanded his dumfounded friend, "could it possibly have been worse?"

"Well," said Harry, "if it had happened the night before, I'd be dead right now.":faint:

This one tickled my fancy.

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Kmart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Kmart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Kmart.....Nice children you've got there.are they twins?"

The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't,

the oldest one, he's 9 and the youngest one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..........Do you really think they look alike?"

"No", replies the gretter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!!