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Emotional Eating - Prepare For Life After Surgery?



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Hello! I'm new here. I would like to thank you for sharing your stories and experiences - it has helped me ask the right questions, find a good doctor, and decide about what is right for me.

I am an emotional eater. I'd like to start using some techniques now to help after the surgery. What has worked for you?

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I'm so glad you asked this question! I was getting ready to ask the same thing! I'm still on my pre op diet. I get sleeved the 25th, and I hope I didn't ruin it for myself because I got so anxious last night that I binged on a bologna and cheese sandwich, and two small bierocks. They were so good, but dammit I hated myself this morning.... ugh.

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I have always had an eating problem since I was six. Before I even looked into getting surgery I worked on my binge eating problem.

When I was dieting I would be good all day counting calories, eating what I was supposed to, but there would be a voice in the back of my mind thinking, omg I want a burger and fries, and some Cereal, ect....

Finally I would give in and just go wild and eat everything in sight. Afterwards I would feel so guilty and then would get depressed about it and do it all over again. I even went through a stage where I would purge after binging.

Finally about a year and a half ago I decided, I am not going to feel guilty about it anymore, If I binge I binge, and my weight went up about 30 lbs, I ate everything in sight, but a funny thing happened I started losing the weight slowly. I didn't feel guilty about it and didn't have to hide it anymore, so I didn't binge nearly as much anymore. I also started finding things to do to keep me distracted around the times that I would eat the most, at night time.

Emotional and binge eating are so hard to change, but it is possible.

I know that after my surgery I am going through a bit of a relapse, but I am not going to give up, and not going to beat myself up over it too much, because I know for me that just leads to more bad decisions. Take it day by day and don't give up!

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For the past six months since my surgery I have wrestled with this problem - I still emotional eat, it is a lot less and with food I know my stomach can take well. I eat a little yogurt and sometimes a frozen yogurt treat (100 calories). I drink unsweetened ice tea - a couple of blueberries or rasberries.

You won't want to eat what you ate befor - and your sleeve won't let you eat too much.

Trust me - it will show you the way

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I'm struggling with the same issues. I'm not feeling physical hunger. Have not felt hungry since my surgery on 07/03 but every since I started purees this week. Old urges are coming back. Last night was rough. I had a horrible day at work and when I got home I wanted to eat everything in sight. It was demoralizing. I didn't over do it too much, but I ate more meat (pork, good old salty flavorful PORK!) and I was in pain. My sleeve revolted.

Thank heavens I didn't vomit or have some of the push back from my sleeve as some of the others have shared here.

Overall I think it's just about keeping busy, Knowing what will set you off and acknowledging that you will give in occasionally....just don't beat yourself up too much when you do.

I've found that my cravings come on at night too, so I have a plan to work out early in the morning to get my energy and just plow through the rest of the day so that I'm totally exhausted and ready for bed by 9 p.m. With my Protein battles that's not far off the mark LOL.

Wednesday I returned to work and I was knocked out by 7:30 p.m.! But yesterday was just a bad deal for me....I was exhausted, but couldn't sleep because I was so frustrated with the goings on that day.

We are all a work in progress...so any other suggestions offered, please share. I need all the help I can get.

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I can relate to ALL of you ladies~ for me food , sweets rather comforts me~ When I get lonely that's what I turn to sweets and i'm addicted to sunflower seeds~ they are like my cigarette. As a military Wife it is especially difficult especially when my honey is away for long periods~ I am pre op and currently working on falling in love with sugar free ice pops, and such rather than hitting up the frozen yogurt bar~ I can eat yogurt or boiled egg from Breakfast a lean cuisine for lunch and meat n veggies and a sweet potatoe for dinner~ but after that it's snack ATTACK! Working on me internally one bite at a time~

T~ :wub:

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There is a book called "When food is Love" by Geneen Roth that I read many years ago. I still reference it sometimes and it discusses using food as a crutch to make ourselves feel better. I literally ate my problems pre-op and I'm now having to deal with all those issues, both internal and external, on a realistic basis rather than eat food to cover them up. It's very similar to an alcoholic, but my drug was food.

I see a therapist regularly and I talk to her about the crazy urges to eat junk food. I do well so long as I keep myself busy and keep the junk out of the house. My splurges are that I allow myself chocolate flavored Protein bars for Breakfast and I do allow myself one single serving bag of cheetos a month. For me, it works because I know that I CAN have something that meets my craving, but I can't have a ton of it. The sleeve definitely helps with that! :)

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That sounds very interesting I have to check that book out!

Thanks Lissa~

T~

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If you subscribe to audible.com that book can be bought there

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Thank you all for your thoughts! A friend recommended "Eating Mindfully" by Dr. Susan Albers, and I've enjoyed that so far - good reminders about how eating is nurishment, and that patience is key to well-being.

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Guest deleted_user

Thank you all for posting on this issue. I'm extremely depressed right now as I emotionally ate a bunch of chips yesterday simply because I couldn't find the cover for my blender and splattered my Protein shake mix everywhere (which was all I was planning on having). I feel extremely pathetic saying this. My surgery is 5 days away and this self sabotage is eating at me internally and externally.

I was watching this HBO documentary about the obesity epidemic in America and this one lady, when interviewed, said that her relationship with food has many dimensions. When she was asked to elaborate on that, she said "food can be my boyfriend, it can be the vacation I can't go on because I'm ashamed of my body and just can't afford to go..." I had to pause the video as the screen went blurry from all my tears.

Since I was 17, food has become a coping mechanism -- with loneliness, pain, etc... And I've developed this subconscious sabotaging thing too, where my subconscious mind tries to destroy the good I do because "it" thinks I don't deserve to be happy because of all the abuse I've gone through and "it" has suppressed but needs to express somehow. I didn't even know but I recently read in a journal article that 95% of the 70,000 thoughts we approximately have daily are created by our subconscious mind.

I know since I started at 204 lbs on 7/25/12, I don't have much to lose before surgery (I've already lost 6 lbs), but I feel like a wreck not having self control. A part of me is thinking -- which comes first, the chicken or the egg? My obesity or my emotional eating? And the answer to that makes me feel that I will fail even with my sleeve.

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Thank you all for posting on this issue. I'm extremely depressed right now as I emotionally ate a bunch of chips yesterday simply because I couldn't find the cover for my blender and splattered my Protein shake mix everywhere (which was all I was planning on having). I feel extremely pathetic saying this. My surgery is 5 days away and this self sabotage is eating at me internally and externally.

I was watching this HBO documentary about the obesity epidemic in America and this one lady' date=' when interviewed, said that her relationship with food has many dimensions. When she was asked to elaborate on that, she said "food can be my boyfriend, it can be the vacation I can't go on because I'm ashamed of my body and just can't afford to go..." I had to pause the video as the screen went blurry from all my tears.

Since I was 17, food has become a coping mechanism -- with loneliness, pain, etc... And I've developed this subconscious sabotaging thing too, where my subconscious mind tries to destroy the good I do because "it" thinks I don't deserve to be happy because of all the abuse I've gone through and "it" has suppressed but needs to express somehow. I didn't even know but I recently read in a journal article that 95% of the 70,000 thoughts we approximately have daily are created by our subconscious mind.

I know since I started at 204 lbs on 7/25/12, I don't have much to lose before surgery (I've already lost 6 lbs), but I feel like a wreck not having self control. A part of me is thinking -- which comes first, the chicken or the egg? My obesity or my emotional eating? And the answer to that makes me feel that I will fail even with my sleeve.[/quote']

Negative self speak wreaks havoc on our psyche. You need to create a new habit. A habit of speaking to yourself and about yourself with love and care. Sounds corny I know but picture this. A friend or loved one relates to you what you just said about yourself but they are speaking as if it was them. Would you agree that they're undeserving or would you endeavor to try and dissuade them from that line of thought? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're gonna try and make them see their self worth. So if you would do that for a friend, why not yourself? You have to love and respect yourself before others can do that.

We are all the most critical of ourselves but change in us starts with us. You are showing yourself how much you care about you by going through this long process...so you need to help that care to grow. You're not weak or undeserving or worthless...you are a human being that can and will make mistakes. Shrug it off and begin again. Give yourself a mulligan and start over.

Hugs!!

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Once I cleared out all my trigger foods from home, I realized that most of my emotional eating happened at work (I'm a teacher). Toward the end of the last school year, I made it a goal not to eat anything except the food I brought with me for lunch. The first student birthday after I started my program's pre op diet was very hard, but I realized that i would be OK if I didn't have a cupcake. The 2nd and 3rd birthdays were easier.

Instead of celebrating small victories with food, I started buying myself flowers. I also made a little chart to record the # of days I'd ignored head hunger, kind of like a "this many days without an accident" poster. It helped me think about whether or not a food choice was worth going back to zero.

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What great discussion! Everyone sharing their thoughts is very helpful, and I know I have somewhere to turn.

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Guest deleted_user

tallysfunny and elindoll88: Thank you so much for your insight, support and being so personal. I also feel like I have a place to turn to now and I'm stronger as I become more aware of how I think and behave, so I can be more successful.

Your feedback and support mean so much to me! God bless you!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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