I didn't post anything sooner because I was hoping he'd come back, but after 6 years of being together, he left a few days after my surgery (almost 3 weeks ago). We were bickering a lot and he said he had enough. I am so depressed. He won't even talk to me. I miss him so much. Not only that, but he has been a father to my son who doesnt know his real father. He also left me with all the bills and the expensive apartment which I can't afford on my own. He was supposed to help me after surgery too. I've been trying to stay positive but I've barely been able to get out of bed. He won't answer my calls or Facebook messages. It's like we don't exist to him anymore. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost my love, my family is falling apart, and my world is crumbling down around me.

Please pardon me? I hope I didn't offend you! I really hope that things get better for you! Keep your head up and stay focused on your health and your son. Best Wishes! :-)

Sorry to hear this, I feel going to stay with your parents may be the way forward. You need them right now and I'm sure they want to help you xxx

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It's good to hear that you are trying to stay positive. I know that you are going through a difficult time. But please trust that you can make it through this. Do your self and your son a favor and focus on a beautiful life without him. Throw yourself into your new world. Try and find a place that you can afford alone. Or turn to family and friends that can help you through this rough time. Your ex changed his mind about the relationship you all had. That is sad, but now you need to change yours. Don't tell yourself that you can't go on without him because the truth is that YOU CAN. Perhaps you have been in different relationships in the past that ended and you made it through. You made an important decision that will change your life and the life of your son. Focus on the new you and new beginnings. Though it seems the relationship is ending sourly, try and be appreciative of the good times and the valuable lessons you gained and don't give too much energy to mourning the loss of it.

I will be praying for you and the little one.

Hang in there and keep your head up!

Okay, I've been thinking about your post and I can't get over the fact that he left you like that. I've had some horrible boyfriends in my past, but I can't imagine leaving even THEIR sorry butts after major surgery and with all those bills.

I agree with Aviiva that you need to get angry. You didn't deserve that; no one deserves that. There may have been good times, but in the end he was a JERK.

I think being with your parents is a great idea right now. I'm sure they will help you with perspective and with your healing, both physically and emotionally.

I know you say that he was supportive of your surgery' date=' but was he really? Just because he said that doesn't make it true. You are transforming yourself, not everyone will be as happy for you as you might hope. But, you made the step towards life. You will have a long, healthy life to watch your son grow up. So, get it together girl! First thing! You must physically heal. Rest yes, but get out of that bed and walk, play with your son, hell, try on some new clothes! Tell yourself how beautiful and amazing you are. The first man in your life, is that little boy. Watch him while he's watching you. What do you see? Pure adoration, I'm sure. Breathe, meditate, nourish yourself and accept love from yourself. In a couple of weeks, get some help and find yourself somewhere more affordable to live. Get rid of anything that's not benefiting you anymore. Like my grandma used to say, when things get rough, put your lipstick on and keep going. Best wishes.[/quote']

I like your grandma!

I really like that quote too! Your grandma is the best!! Love it!

Before my surgery I went through a horrific breakup to a fiancé that I was going spend fbe rest of my life with. My advice to you if you DO want to rekindle the relationship is to pretend you are ok. Don't contact him for any reason. Let him think you are ok and have moved on. I mean zero contact, let him think you fell off the planet. He will get curious and possibly miss you. Then when he contacts you- then the ball is in your court you can decide what you want. Keep your self busy and do you. In the meantime focous in your new bod and the confidence might

Attract much more desirable mates and you might not look back at the ex. I know from expirence!! Finally in love again after the 1 year heartbreak I suffered!!! It will get better. Hugs

Were you not married by this time by choice?

Your choice, I mean.

I know it must be awfully hard to hear the negative comments about him but that is exactly what is needed. I may be wrong but it seems you love him more than he ever loved you. As overweight women we always seem to lack self esteem and therefore settle for less than we deserve. We somehow consider ourselves fortunate when someone show us a bit of attention. At 266 lbs and 5' 3" I know I have been there. I have allowed men to treat me like crap and settled for way less than I deserved. 3 years ago I put an end to all that. I woke up one morning and decided I was going to love myself! All 200 plus pounds!!!! I have never looked back! I focused on my happiness and the happiness of my daughter. I realized my happiness depended on me and not someone else. Please pick yourself up out of that bed or depression will consume you. Do not give him the power to ruin your happiness. I have been exactly where you are and it felt as if my life was over, but I had my daughter to think about. How selfish would I have been to give up on her because of a man? You can do this!! I did! I am a survivor never more to be a victim. Wishing you all the best and try to remember that you are most important! Take care of you so that you can give your son the beatiful vibrant Mom he deserves to have*hugs*

I know how you feel my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday.. I haven't even gotten my date.. He was insecure about what was going to happen after surgery.. I would just ignore him and watch he'll come running.. Just a lil advise.. gd luck.

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I am so sorry I hope you feel better honey. It sound like maybe he didn't care about you if he did he wouldn't walk away llike that or maybe is scared of losing you only time wil tell just relax give him so space maybe he will come back or even call you. Please don't let you baby see you breaking down he have you! Your heart will heal over time maybe someone new will come around and take care of the both of you. Pray about honey don't let that man make you feel that way 2012 is your year of a new body and a new life with or with him! Hold your head up! If you have to move so be it love you don't need stress right now your WLS pals are here for you love! If you need anything just ask hun you are a strong woman don't let him take that from you EVER!

You have the support of this group. You ARE NOT alone. Vent on here as many times as you need to. You are worth so much girl. Not only to your son but to your family. Focus on getting better for now. Put your relationship on the back burner for a little while. Easier said than done - I know. I was a divorced mother of two. Having men come in and out of your life is stressful when you have kids. I have learned they need that one constant- You. And You are still there. He will be ok. I am a Christian and not sure of your religion but I beleive in my God and will be praying for you sweetie. You will make it through this. You are so worth so much! You do have people that care. Hang in there. Cant wait to read your success story. Hugs!!!!!

Sorry youre going through that. Just remember that in the midst of change and difficult times is when our greater selves are revealed. Take care.

Having been through this myself, my heart goes out to you! With that said, yes you love him and always will! However you have to pull yourself together for yourself! Find something that you enjoy doing, take time out for you, your worth it and he's not! Don't give him tge satisfaction of knowing how badly he has hurt you, your just giving him more power! Take the power back! Then go down to the court house file a small claims for half of all the bills that was left when he left, and ask them to have a server serve him! You need to get it together for yourself and your child! Remember your the one who has to make the decisions and count on yourself! God bless I will keep you in my prayers! If you need to talk just send me a message!

My son is 12 years old and my parents have been helping me with him since the surgery. He was here for a little while but when I told them how depressed I was they offered to take him for a while. I might just end up going to their place myself. I need to be around people I think.

I have a 12 year old as well..it's a tough age, you did the right thing letting your son stay with family while you get yourself together. Also, it sounds like you have a good plan to stay with your family. You have the answer but might be having a hard time letting go because that will mean it's over. I agree with those who said he obviously isn't the love of your life or else he'd still be around and supporting you at a time that you need it the most..and to turn away from your child, that would just make me angry. Put your son first and focus on yourself and healing. You really should get out of that bed and do some walking,,you won't do anyone any good if your health suffers. Show this guy that you are stronger than him and that you can carry on and survive without him. Depend on yourself, have confidence that you can take care of you and your son. Lying in bed and yearning for him to come back is probably what he thinks your doing..I'd do the exact opposite to piss him off.