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Sabotaging Myself!



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Hitting the "reset" button in my brain helped so much...just writing this down was so important...

Talked to my psych doctor yesterday afternoon...that helped me accept some hidden issues...due to my disability he did a phone visit because i didn't have a ride to office...

Thank you all for your words of support.... :)

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I feel pretty guilty too...been incorporating simple carbs back into my diet (still eating Protein first) and I keep having to lie down after eating because im eating too fast...any tips on how to break myself?

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I'm very familar with the "I have to lay down now, honey" phase. I haven't beat it yet. At home we generally eat in front of the TV so I eat fast. I have no problem at work because I usually am working when I eat and then it takes 2 hours. I can seem to eat slow at restaurants but for some reason at home it just doesn't work for me.

Today I've been snacking too much so I need to leave the Snacks at home!! Gosh there is a lot to learn, huh!!!

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Twisted and Randi.....yes there is so much to learn and so much to unlearn .... Everyone has different "signals" to know we are close to: one bite to much/lay down awhile..... For me, when i feel like i ""need to take a drink of something or i can't eat another bite"" that is my signal... Full! ... it took me 6 weeks to figure this out... Be patient with yourself, you will find your "signal".

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Here's the thing....i was doing great....then we decided to host a BBQ this Saturday....

I am disabled' date=' so i am not around other people..unless i choose to ....

i have hid behind my weight all my life...((my husband asked me once, "if you could be ANY action hero. Who would you want to be?"....my response, without hesitation "The invisible man"....

In the past, when we have had a BBQ ... Due to my weight, i could pretty much be invisible...My husband is the social one.. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' /> ...but i am worried that my weight loss is going to be a topic of conversation...and people are going to be wanting to "talk" to me all afternoon...

So....i have been eating foods and NOT putting them on MFP .... And/Or telling my husband what i ate during the day...

It depresses me that i so easily returned to bad habits so quickly....my sleeve will be 8 weeks old on Wednesday...and i have gained 3 pounds....

i am hoping by posting this thread, i will shame myself into getting back on track...

Thank you for letting me tell on myself...[/quote']

Maybe an accountability partner? Someone you don't know. You text or e-mail. You could ask your partner to randomly e-mail or text you during each day to make sure your logging.

I keep up to date when I know some one will ask because I don't want to let them down.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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Sannah ... That is a great idea... Love this site and people on it.... So helpful and full of guidance... Thank you

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Sannah ... That is a great idea... Love this site and people on it.... So helpful and full of guidance... Thank you

No problem. :) If you want a partner I can text. No offensive if this isn't for you. Just want to do what I can to support others.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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TJmom and all....I LOVE THIS SITE and all it's support! I have a suggestion to look into Cognative Behavior Therapy (CBT)...it has helped me get this point of knowing that after surgery I have 1 more tool to use that I have learned through this....it's about changing your thinking, behavior, and emotional responses to your thinking....afterall, I think we can all agree, the stuggle with our weight is 99.9% in our heads...at least the last 25 year has been for me. it doesn't have anything to do with food, food is just the "drug" I choose to deal with those feelings and emotions...hope this helps!

Trust in yourself and KNOW that you are worth it! :)...we all know you are!!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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