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I agree with everyone..and one of the comments I hate at work are

" oh I could do it on my own " I don't need any surgery " that's a easy way out ..

Etc etc .. but I don't listen to them ..

I'm happy with my decision :)

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Ahh you are all so awesome!! :) thank you for the kind words and support. It feels nice to vent to people who understand what I'm going through! Some people are just down right rude! And you all are right, jealousy is definitely apparent. Oh well, I don't have time for ignorance like that in my "new" lifestyle. I look forward to my new future! :)

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You see...I can't have children. All my friends have kids. I am very jealous. I cry a lot about it and it is very difficult to be around my friends. I love their kids, but their life is different. They go take the kids to birthday parties, they always talk about them... It isn't easy for me, and I keep my distance. I am never mean or rude which may be different from some people do, but everyone processes things differently. They may be mean or distant, but the truth is things have changed. So you may win some or lose some, but don't be too upset or try to reach out to them.

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Its true that people can be rude with the comments they make....when that happens, the ball is then in your court...either you fake laugh and pretend to hang with them and be "friends" with then OR you choose to not f*ck with them anymore....

But dont drop to their level....let trash talk stay in the trash area....

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I think people that we are close to may fear we will change and that this will mean that they also have to change. My sister, whom I love dearly, was immediately concerned about the future of our girls nights on the wine. She was very supportive and pleased with my decision, but still quick to identify that my change will alter her reality. It will alter the way we relate, communicate and socialize. I have realised i need to remember that.

Friends and family who depend on me to be and act a certain way are going to have to adjust to the "new" me, and for some it is challenging as they are left with no choice but to examine their own health and wellbeing as a consequence of my own decision.

So please do not judge your friend too harshly, unless she turns psycho jealous and competitive like some of the other examples given in the thread and if so, take the advice earlier of adding her to the weight you plan to lose! Lol

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I am the fat girl in my circle of friends. I have told my close friend about the wls and put them on notice that they will need to find a new fat girl 'cuz hopefully I won't fit the criteria much longer!

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LouiseC you are so right! I've never really thought about it this way AND this attitude/behavior pertains to other successes one has in their lives. Truly eye opening moment for me.

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LouiseC you are so right! I've never really thought about it this way AND this attitude/behavior pertains to other successes one has in their lives. Truly eye opening moment for me.

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Great stories. I am lucky I don't have any friends. :)

I have been aked "if I was sick",or."I did not know it was you until I heard your voice. "( Do I sound like a mouse or something?) and other comments. But they are good. It's better than being fat. Lost 115 pounds.

Blees you all for doing what's good for you.

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Lol...when you loose the weight, start a workout regime you will notice they kind of people you enjoy being around...I am around positive people and others who are health conscious...no time for negative people, gossip, or attitudes...Keep your mind body and soul hapoy and healthy! Especially before you go through surgery. Good luck and GOD bless!

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It really is called a jealous friend. I have a co-worker I told I was having the surgery she told me so many negative things about it, then I found out she asked her doctor If she qualified. He told her no which made her even more upset. I came back from work 3 months later and 40 pounds lighter she walked right by me. Oh well!! Our gain....confidence, health and happiness.

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Thank goodness for all those who support and understand, as for those others, tell them to try it on their own their whole lives and see what they say. They don't understand. It's not like we just woke up and said I'm going to have WLS. I, for one, have had this struggle most my life (20 years) I'm now 30. So tell them to kiss ur a** and have a great day! ;)

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Great stories. I am lucky I don't have any friends. :)

hey Papa Jack

I am your new friend, as are all of your other sleevers. we really are - so please join us - we don't see much of you, ;)

please come around and play :)

best

kathy

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One of my daughters "slipped" and told a neighbor about me having the surgery. I got the usual comments and then...I'd NEVER do that. I replied that condemnation never did anyone any good. When she got hostile I said : "when i was first married, I made a sampler that was an old Indian Proverb - Let me not criticize my neighbor until I have walked a mile in her moccasins". She backed off real quick!

I am not ashamed of my decision. But I refuse to let anyone else's hangups affect that decision.

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I've had a couple of friends do the disappearing act as my weight has disappeared. It sucks' date=' but it shows THEIR insecurity and jealousy. I suspect a couple more are going the same way before this is all done, especially one who keeps telling me how great I look at that I shouldn't lose any more weight. I still weigh close to 250 and have about 60 more pounds to hit goal...I'm not done. :)

What has surprised me even more is the people who are suddenly dieting and exercising since I've started sharing my journey on my FB page![/quote']

Me too! Weight watchers, nutrisystem and several local gyms owe me money because ALL of my fat friends are dieting right now. We have a big gala to go to in feb and they are all saying "we are going to look so great". It started as soon as I went public. I hope and pray that we all look great but I know the odds are in my favor more than everyone else.

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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