Ideas for passing the time????

[DeLarla 22]

Someone just came in my office to ask why I was laughing so hard. I'm acutally crying over this thread. I had my worst port pain every yesterday, and this laughing is killing me. I have to medicate over this post!

[nightingale2u 42]

You Rock, Delarla :cool: I am absolutely positive that you had angels standing by to give you hope but I am also pretty darn certain it was your very own inner strength that brought you through!

[nightingale2u 42]

Hmmmm... does that mean laughter isn't the best medicine????

[DeLarla 22]

Laughter is the best medicine cuz port pain is normal! You gotta get through the pain to find the pleasure. But a stiff pain pill ain't a bad idea. Wish I had something a little more fun than Motrin!

[DeniseG 3]

Isn't making fun of someone who made fun of you stooping to their level?? More then likely they made fun of you because they had insecurities themselves about something. Maybe they weren't overweight, but, maybe they had a big overbite, freckles, were too short, or had some other insecurity you couldn't see from the outside. Example child abuse. It may be fun to think you are getting even, but, the best thing to do is realize you have taken the best step for yourself by getting the lapband. Not only will it probably improve your appearance, but, it will also help your health in the long run too. More then likely, the person who made fun, doesn't even remember doing it, and if they did, they would probably apologize if they could. My sister was mad at me for about 10 years about something I said when I was 18 and when she finally told me at 32 I didn't remember it at all, but, I apologized for the pain I caused her

[DeLarla 22]

I enjoy fantasizing about seeing those who caused me pain feel the same pain. Maybe it's not Godlike, but it's human. Then again, maybe it is Godlike, "eye for an eye" and all. I recently found Classmates.com, where I found a couple of the girls that hurt me 20 years ago. I sent them each e-mails telling them how I felt. The prettiest one chatted with me, and we both ended up laughing and crying together. She said she felt awful about how she treated me and that she did it to be popular. She couldn't aplogize enoughl, and after a good laugh, we parted on a great note. The other two snotty bitches are still snotty bitches raising their kids to be bully snots.

[donali 57]

Denise -

I am sure that you are right about the other people's insecurities, and possibly also about some of them had no idea they were being hurtful. But, many did know they were being hurtful, and did it anyway. That is human nature. I know I have hurt people unintentionally, and possibly intentionally, as well, although the intentional incidents I hope were few and far between, and directed at NON-underdog people. However, I am merely human, so I'm sure my rosy-colored glasses mask my memories of some of the unkind things I have done throughout my life.

That being said, for many people writing out feelings and fantasies is a therapeutic and harmless way of dealing with our emotions.

I take these posts in that vein - I may be naive, but I cannot possibly believe that any of us would really make it our mission to go out and punish others for our hurts from the past. But being able to admit how much we were hurt, and fantasize about being in a position of power is, in my opinion, a healthy step towards healing.

Just as groups of women enjoy their male bashing jokes (or is that just the groups of women I know?!?! lol) while still loving their S.O., I feel that this thread is on that wavelength. I could be totally wrong, but my participation is with that in mind.

[nightingale2u 42]

Yes Donali... you expressed beautifully exactly what I was thinking. :cool: I started to write a response and suddenly felt afraid that anything I would say would be taken the wrong way. I have no desire to start a flame war but... I really would love to have a place to express some of the built up emotions...hurts... without judgement. If this post in any way offends anyone... I ask that they look away and let us have a small little place in the world that we can fight back without hurting anybody. Oh... and if it is hurting anybody... sorry for that too... that is not the intent..

[DeniseG 3]

I hear what your saying donali, the bad thing about chat rooms is you can't hear the person to know if they were kidding or not even with the emoticon. And I think it is important to have the lapband for your self and for no one else.

[DeLarla 22]

I nearly started a war in a Classmates.com chatroom over the topic of bullies vs. popular kids. One woman was pissed that her star quarterback son was put behind a fat kid in the school picture, so you could see the fat kid but not her popular football player after everything she sacrificed to pay for uniforms, practices, photos, etc. I asked if it ever occurred to her that the fat kid wanted to be a football player but life didn't give him the same opportunities as her son. Her response was "too bad, my kid should have been in front." She didn't know she was chatting with a childhood fatty, and after a few choice posts I was banned from their group. Hahaha. Still laughing at those morons.

Every time this topic comes up I think about the little 11 year old fat kid who stood up in the middle of his class and shot himself in the head. That was a real news story about 10 years ago. Unfortunately, his suicide message wasn't loud enough, because teachers still allow teasing and bullying.

There's even an episode on Everybody Loves Raymond where the mom thinks it's okay that her daughter was bullying some kid, and she defended it as "all kids do that."

[nightingale2u 42]

Man DeLarla... I know just how that little boy felt... and I think it is important for people to realize that this is something that could be stopped. My daughter's school has a ZERO bully tolerance... unfortunately... it is not inforced. She did attend a school that had the teachers actively involved in stopping this type of behavior and it made a HUGE difference. If more schools... teachers... and parents would throw away this idea that this is "just the way kids are" and step in... this would not be a big issue. I remember thinking feeling so helpless... afraid to even go to the bathroom for fear that there would be someone in there that would corner me... I remember the class playing dodgeball and everyone throwing the ball as hard as they could at me... to this day I still feel bile in my throat just saying the word "dodgeball". I remember girls pretending to be my friend in order to sucker me into an embarassing situations in front of everyone... I remember a boy coming up in the middle of class and hitting me over the head with a book as hard as he could... IN THE MIDDLE OF FRICKING CLASS!!! THey found endless ways to destroy my spirit on a daily basis and not one person ever stepped in... I would have gladly put a gun to my head if I had had one. I think it is not wise to underestimate how serious this problem is and how deeply hurtful it is to be the child experiencing it. It would be my wish that everyone that reads this post will have a serious talk with their child about this subject...

[Bright 9]

I just wanted to add to this thread - while I really enjoyed reading all of it (read the 4 pages in one sitting as I have again been away for a few days) and smiled many times at the funny stuff, I wanted to acknowledge the pain we seem to have all gone thru, getting to morbid obesity and eventually, here, to the promised land, The Lap-band....! I am happy with my band, and proud of myself for losing 60lbs but still carry the weight of an unhappy childhood, and a terrible, damaging relationship with my parents. I seem to spend most days feeling worthless, stupid, fat, and so sad.... I know it is incredibly naive to think losing some weight, and getting the band etc would change what goes on in my head, and that my dad would love me more now that I am "nearly normal" (his pronounciation of my new body!!).

I only seem to have one person on my list to revenge - Me. I feel it's all my fault.

Anyway - well done us, for marching on with all our wounds. I think you are all wonderful people, with brilliant outlooks, and optimism, and you lift me every night when I log on.

And thanks so much Donali for quoting me - I'm so chuffed - you are very important here, ya know....

:kiss

[DeLarla 22]

No, no, no, Bright. You are fabulous! Hell, some people have good relations with their parents, others don't. No more feeling bad. No more looking back or hoping for happiness in a smaller size. The time to be happy is now.

I saw this Saturday Night Live sketch with Bob Newhart playing a psychiatrist. A whacky patient came in and said her worst fear was getting trapped inside of a box. He told her he could cure her with 2 simple words. She thoughtfully took out her writing pad, and he yelled, "STOP IT." It was hysterical.

So STOP IT. It's that easy, see, now you're cured, healthy, and happy. Bingo!

[nightingale2u 42]

You know Bright... I feel it's a parents role to support... love... teach... guide... and nurture. Your Father's choices and actions are completely his own... please don't take responsibility for his lack of parenting skills. It sounds like you are a wonderful person and well deserving of the happiness that life can bring! I love reading your posts and hope you spend lots of time here sharing your thoughts... and if you need to vent or get rid of frustrations... this is the post to do it in! :cool: A round of (((hugs))) for everyone!

There's so many of you I'd like to meet... maybe someday!

Darcy:D

[donali 57]

My hugs to everyone, too. I so LOVE this board, and everyone on it. I love how everyone can express their points of view, and we are all respected.

In spite of some of the unbearably terrible experiences some have had, I am truly amazed and inspired by the genuine warmth and depth of us all. We could have turned into bitter, closed, hateful people - but we did not. We have hurts, and in some places our souls may be a little worse for wear, but we are healing, and taking control of our lives, and that takes a HUGE amount of courage, and faith, and hope.

I have always said I LOVED fat people - PREFERRED fat people. I just didn't want to be one. The people I have most cherished in my life have been warm, and soft, and loving, and tender, and funny, and smart, and... fat. I am drawn to fat people and their infinite kindness, empathy, and wit.

I trust we can keep all these fabulous qualities on our way back down to a healthy weight. We are such very, very, very special, and precious beings. :cool: