Hope For Second Year Sleevers

[crosswind 134]

I got on the scale today and it said: 179.8.

I'm making this announcement because I want people to know that so far, my year-long experiment with sleeve eating has not been a failure. If you've ever read my posts before, you know that I am not dieting with the sleeve. I am not lowcarbing. My calories are not at starvation level and they have not been since I got my surgery last April. My actually surgery was March 29, but I mostly count it as April 1 just to round everything out.

Okay so the thing is, there is research out there that says that people typically lose sixty percent of their weight in the first year and that's all you get. There is research that says that you will "stretch" your sleeve after six months or so, lose your "honeymoon" with your sleeve, stop losing and get stuck. There are surgeons who say you *have to* be on a lowcarb diet of 800 calories for the rest of your life or you won't lose the weight, and they say that you need to exercise like a demon *while* you're eating that 800 and you have to stay like that forever or you'll get fat again.

I want to tell you that in my experience this is not true.

What I want to tell you is that I got the sleeve because I was 46 and SO FAT -- I weighed 289 -- and I was at the end of my rope. I had dieted before and gotten the weight off only to regain it and the way I did that is pretty much to follow all the instructions above. Eating 800 lowcarb calories a day will get you to goal weight, there is no doubt,but in my opinion that's just no way to live and it's impossible to sustain. It also creates such intense anxiety about eating and your body and your food that it creates a horrible unending complex about fat, and feeding yourself, that the cure is worse than the disease.

I got my surgery in March. I was *severely* depressed and the reason I was depressed primarily was because I WAS SO FAT. I really hated myself. But I decided that the fat was emotional mostly and so what I was going to do was this. I was going to lose weight without dieting by having a surgeon remove eighty five percent of my stomach. And knowing that was taken care of and I had done the most *extreme* thing I could possibly do to solve my weight problem, I was going to let it come off naturally, eat normally and not push myself or punish myself because obsessing over my weight has basically been my career since I was 13 years old.

I had this thought once when I was watching Oprah Winfrey. All that woman ever talked about was her weight. All she ever did was look at the scale. Every time she lost fifty pounds it made the freakin national news and when she gained the weight back she made this weird confession and apology to everyone in the world. So obviously she was obsessed but what I really thought was holy crap, really? Imagine what Oprah could have accomplished with her life if she was not spending seventy five percent of her time obsessing over her pants size. Imagine what *I* could do if this was NO LONGER A PROBLEM for me and when I say NO LONGER A PROBLEM I mean I NEVER HAVE TO THINK OR WORRY ABOUT IT AGAIN.

So really....I was looking for more than weight loss. I wanted to be healed. Completely.

So the weight has come off really slow. In August of last year, I weighed 237. In November, I weighed 222. In January, 209. On April 1, my surgiversary, I weighed about 190. I've gone on vacation, I've drunk numerous glasses of wine, I've eaten cake and Pasta and carbs, I've avoided cardio really for the most part -- but my calories are *naturally* way under what I would need to sustain these weights and so....slowly....it's coming off. And it's still coming off and it has now been *over* a year.

I think I'm going to hit goal eventually. This will be without dieting, without worrying about the "honeymoon period", and without forcing myself to do ninety hours of cardio a week. And when I get there there's not going to be some freakout/rebound where I now have to figure out what "maintenance" is and be on the verge of shooting myself in the head because I had a piece of birthday cake or a piece of gum with sugar in it.

So this is what I want to say:

If you're just starting this project ( I refuse to say journey -- UGH) then realize that patience is required. Plan on a year *or more*. Even if you believe the honeymoon thing you're not going to drop all your weight *inside* your "honeymoon" so think about it...what are you going to do when it's over? Because you're still going to have to lose a lot of weight and you're going to have to sustain whatever you're doing for the rest of your life. It's frustrating that such an extreme solution is not instantaneous, but it is NOT, so prepare yourself. You're going to be working on this for at least a year. A year is a long time and you can't just not be alive for a year while you get thin. I didn't have that year to waste and you don't either.

If you're just starting this project, consider what you want your life to be as a thin person. Not a "formerly fat" person. Not a constantly dieting, obsessed person. This is what you'll be free of when it's done, so prepare by starting now and living your life.

And finally: Prepare for the idea that you may not lose all your weight in the first year. But remember this post by me and realize that you *will* very likely get exactly where you are going by the end of the second one and forget all that stuff about first years and honeymoons. This is not magic, it's science. It's mechanics. The mechanism that uses energy that is your body will continuously be operating at a deficit *even after* the honeymoon, *even after* the first year, and that means you *will* get there. You *have to*.

This requires patience, and then more patience. That's really the *only* think you need going into this. The rest, I really promise you -- will take care of itself.

[kayte819 95]

Love it! I'm 3 mos out & sometimes during a stall I get discouraged, but you're so right.....patience. I also agree about the obsessing. It's so drilled into my mind to not eat carbs that if I eat a few I feel immense guilt...which I hate. My sleeve doesn't tolerate much variety, so for the most part I stick to the plan, but after years & years of being ashamed of what I'm eating I would like to put an end to the guilt. That is the hardest part for me...feeling like a failure or that I should suffer for what.I've eaten. Your post gives me hope that even if I'm not perfect, I can still succeed! Thank you!

[coops 1,790]

Crosswind,

I've said it before and I will say it again... you make so much sense. You have clear words or wisdom and I for one am always eager to read your posts.

I feel that the sleeve is a life time commitment to health... not just a 'tool' to use to reach a number. However, this has only really dawned on me over the last 6mths or so. I haven't lost a pound since Oct and regardless of what I do or how I do it, my body does not want to comply. So now, well I am just eating a proper healthy diet and enjoying it. If I want a treat i will have one, but it doesn't leave me aching for more like it did pre op or 73lbs ago. Not sure why... I don't even care why.

In those same months, I haven't gained weight either... I do have a 5lb bounce range and I believe that is normal for any woman (or man). I also know that being on HRT isn't really helping the scale either.

That being said, I would love to lose more and get to my surgeon's goal (and out of the obese BMI range) weight and ultimately to my personal weight (and into the normal BMI range) but if it doesn't happen then I am not going down the route of I am a failure, because I am not!

Thank you for always being the voice of reason, normality and sense...

[Carly 56]

Excellent post. Thank you. That is exactly what I have been aiming to do with my new life. I wanted the sleeve as a means of tempering myself, not as a means to make me a freak and queen of dieting. Obviously, that is something I don't enjoy. So I am hoping to do as you have done. To still enjoy things, but in moderation.

[Georgia 2,911]

Okay I'm going to ask since I can't tell by your post ( and I really want to agree). Male or female?

[lyndynojo 140]

I totally agree!!! This is exactly my philosophy. I am 10 mo post op and have lost 75 lbs. The last 4 months I haven't lost anything, BUT I've been eating anything and I do mean anything I want. I have done no exercise at all.

This last week I decided I want to get the last 15 lbs off so I cut out my sugar and I lost 2 lbs this week. lol yeah!

I refuse to obsess over carbs or anything else for the rest of my life, I could have done that without surgery. I find when I do that I feel just like I did before surgery, you know that desperate, I've got to do it this time but I probably won't be able to feeling. I do weigh myself everyday just to keep everything in check.

I want to live like I use to before I gained weight and I think that we all can live a normal life with this wonderful gift we've given ourselves.

[Georgia 2,911]

I do agree with this too. Otherwise, I tend to eat sleep and breath food thoughts BUT, at 22 mos out I do know that if you eat too much of slider foods. ( chips, carbs, etc) you WILL gain. I reached goal without hardly any effort at about 9 mos then stayed pretty much the same for another 6 mos or so gradually adding tooany snack foods and regained about 10-15 lbs. back down 5 And working on rest. Cutting carbs and Snacks. But I can tell you it DOESNT come off easily once regained! Your body says nope! ????

[KitKatKate 1]

This is encouraging as I am nearing my Sleeve anniversary and I am down 115 lbs now (I think) and I would like to lose around 60+ more. I admit, at the beginning of this procedure I thought I would drop it instantly and a year out I would be at goal. It definitely takes patience.

I did join a gym to help things along, but by no means have become an exercise addict. I haven't stopped eating any particular types of food completely because I don't think that teaches me anything and I know from past dieting that if I restrict a certain food then I crave that food non-stop till I gorge myself on it.

Lately I have been a tad concerned that my tummy may have stretched as I seem to be able to get more in before the fullness begins, but I have vowed to eat slower to see if that helps.

One thing I do not do is get on the scale more than once a week (most of the time it's every other week) and I am not letting myself be obsessed with the numbers.

Things are going in the right direction for me. As long as that continues, then I am happy.

I don't want to be obsessed with food any more, so far I am not. I eat when I am hungry and I stop when I am full.

This was the best decision I have ever made. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

[crosswind 134]

. Hiya. I'm a female and I'm five nine.

I did gain a couple pounds over christmas, but I was basically just laying around and eating Cookies and drinking tons of wine for ten days. When I got back to work and into my regular routine the scale started moving again. It felt like it started moving faster because I was eating lesss sugar; the Water drained out and took a couple more pounds with it.

i do count calories though normally, though mostly out of curiosity. I eat seventeen, sometimes eighteen hundred most days. And I found it really easy once I was paying attention to work on Portion Control, like buying the 100 calorie Snacks and lean cuisine frozen stuff because most of those meals are under three hundred, which is what I can usually get in me in one sitting. I don't see those habits changing. I don't go out to eat very often and when my stomach is full I just don't want anything else.

I do have to be careful with Pirate's Booty though. I don't buy it anymore because it is pretty darn easy to eat a whole big bag of that

[D1NOnlySexyLady 70]

Thank you for sharing your experience, you have given me hope that I will to become a success story

[Amanda131 214]

Crosswind-

Thank you for sharing that you regularly eat 1700-1800 calories. I'm 5'10" and generally take in 1800 as well. I often, though, feel like a VSG freak of nature when I mention that on here as people discuss existing on 800-1000 calorie diets. If I don't hit at least 1500 I feel weak and horrible. So, thanks for validating my caloric needs.

Amanda

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

Crosswind-

Thank you for sharing that you regularly eat 1700-1800 calories. I'm 5'10" and generally take in 1800 as well. I often' date=' though, feel like a VSG freak of nature when I mention that on here as people discuss existing on 800-1000 calorie diets. If I don't hit at least 1500 I feel weak and horrible. So, thanks for validating my caloric needs.

Amanda[/quote']

I'm also in the high calorie range. 2000-2200 on average. If I tried to eat 1000, I would be ravenous and weak - just like before surgery. So I agree with Crosswind - unless you have exceptionally low metabolism, you don't need to majorly limit your calories to be successful.

[StevieSmithtown 12]

Slow '80's movie clap . . .

[feedyoureye 3,087]

5'9" 1200-1600 cals a day. I eat anything, not low carb, I do keep track of everything I eat though... just to stay conscious...I just got back from New Orleans where I ate french fries and beignets everyday (because I am a vegetarian, and they put meat in EVERYTHING) gained 3 pounds in 11 days. Lost it again in two after I got back. I wanted to get back to eating my regular way... I was tired of all the carbs without fresh veggies and Protein. Now theres a switch!

[tbstacks 10]

Hi, you all! I am SO glad to hear all of these taller and "bigger structured" sleevers are eating around 1500 calories, like me. I had surgery on May 24, 2012. I have lost 40 lbs, but I've been stuck at 230 for a month and a half. I am so frustrated, like the quentisentail staller. I have been doing more Zumba and C25k to try and speed things a long. This can't be all I lose!