Need Support From Sleevers 1 Year Or More. Help!

[gordatoflaca 1]

I started the process for VSG surgery in August of 2010. I was able to lose 28lbs pre-surgery but I've only lost 45lbs after surgery (3/17/11). Total weight loss 73lbs. I'm stuck. I feel like a failure. So much has changed in my life and it wasnt in a good way. I really need some support from people who understand. The pre-surgery cheerleaders arent there anymore or are a bit hurtful with their tactics (almost a sense of jealousy). My marriage has become a rollercoaster since. And for those who assume it's because I got some super ego or major confidence boost, no that's not it. Quite the contrary, I feel like my husband became less attractive to me. I need to work on me and my confidence. But I also need to figure out what I'm doing wrong. Your support and advice is greatly appreciated.

I havent kept up with this website because to be honest with you it's a little overwhelming and I'm not a blogger/internet wizzard. lol

Start weight 8/28/10 = 260lbs

Todays weight = 187

[PdxMan 4,292]

I'm not a year out, but 9 months and have met goal.

It sounds to me like the help you need is not related to the sleeve or weight loss, but may rather be a symptom of something else larger in your life. I see you went through Kaiser, so I am guessing your insurance has some mental health benefits. It never hurts to tap that resource for some direction.

[MSanti 52]

73 pounds is a great accomplishment. It's not about how long it takes you to get there. Just stay focused and keep going.

Here are a couple of tips that helped me with my stalls:

-Check Vitamin levels - Any Vitamin deficiency can cause stalls

-Water - I had days when I would forget how much Water I should have been drinking

-Exercise - If you stopped working out, start!

-Protein - Always eat it first

-Stress - Can be a big staller! (It sounds like you are going through a rough time; find something that relaxes you: Exercise, yoga, reading, dancing anything!

I hope this helps!

[gordatoflaca 1]

OMG your weight loss is awesome. Based on your profile picture you would never imgaine that you needed it. Anyway, I'll admit that I have alot going on in my life. Although things have gotten better with my husband, they arent the best. I work 10 hour shifts and when I get home I am a single mother (hubby works nights) of 3 trying to get things done in 1 1/2 hours (before bedtime for kids). By the time they are out, I'm burned out. However, I do walk/run on the treadmill (2-3 miles a day). I also have a few medical conditions that I think may be contributing to my pause in weight loss (Thyroid & Hormone problems). Grrrrr, honestly I just wish that I had someone that I can talk to about this whole experience that can provide input. My family is a hispanic family that loves to eat (with no weight gain) and always call you out in front of others about your weight, pant size etc.

Tried to post profile picture but something seems to go wrong each time. SMH.... lol

[PdxMan 4,292]

Oh, believe me, I needed it. I pre-surgery photos are ... well ... larger than life, let's say.

I know you are looking for someone to talk to, and this board is a great support forum, but personalized input into your situation may be better suited if it came from a professional. I know when I was with Kaiser, there was no charge for mental health services. It may be worth checking out and nobody has to know about it.

[gordatoflaca 1]

_{I got that part. Thanks lol. But what I want from others on this page is support with the weight loss process. I'm sure that many people out there have lot's of tips on what's worked for them in regards to exercise & eating habits. The support I'm looking for is not in regards to my marriage.}

[gordatoflaca 1]

73 pounds is a great accomplishment. It's not about how long it takes you to get there. Just stay focused and keep going.

Here are a couple of tips that helped me with my stalls:

-Check Vitamin levels - Any Vitamin deficiency can cause stalls

-Water - I had days when I would forget how much Water I should have been drinking

-Exercise - If you stopped working out, start!

-Protein - Always eat it first

-Stress - Can be a big staller! (It sounds like you are going through a rough time; find something that relaxes you: Exercise, yoga, reading, dancing anything!

I hope this helps!

Thanks this has been helpful. I have friends who have had weight loss surgery but none have had the sleeve so that's what I'm really looking for. Those going through the same journey, same methods.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I gotcha flaca -

I am 20 months out and although I am not to goal yet, I have lost 125 lbs.

1. Protein first - this is the motto of vsg and it is important on so many levels, Protein is so important, and if you are stuffed to the gills with protein first, you don't have the ability to eat crap.

2.water Water Water - not just for hydration but because it gets the fat moving and aids in loss.

change your fitness routine - you said you get 2-3 miles a day on treadmill? add an incline of 3 or more, run instead of walk, don't hold the hand rail, wear a backpack, etc.

And finally, you said you didn't come here for advice on your marriage. Okay, understandable. However, and I speak from experience, our success in weight loss is intimately tied into our psychological health, which includes relationships with others and ourselves. Therapy is a vital component toward recovery.

Hope some of this helps =)

[gordatoflaca 1]

Awe man, I guess everyone thinks that I need to see a therapist. lol. Yes, I agree that it contributes to stress. And I have been seeing someone since last summer. And maybe I made the mistake of mentioning my marriage in my post because I dont want the comments/focus of your responses to be about that.

I havent been on this thing for several months and I'm already getting freaked out. J/K. Please please please disregard that part and give me tips such as the ones that Globetrotter & MSanti have provided. I would also appreciate recipe's that you may know of that the whole family would enjoy. I've hate making seperate meals (it's exhausting) because I've ran out of ideas that they would like. snack options. Exercise video suggestions are great to. Way to many products/gimmicks out there and I dont want to spend on unecessary things.

Thanks to all of you for your comments, i honestly do appreciate them.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

As for the family Flaca, remember this - if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!! Meals they will like? They can learn to adapt, or go hungry! You got this way because you were always putting yourself last, if you want to change, you've gotta put yourself first, period. The only difference between the way you should be eating and they should be eating is portion - everybody should be eating good Protein, good Fiber, good carb - low crap carbs. I know how difficult it is to not serve bread or tortillas or something with meals, and there will be some whining but - see first sentence! =P

broiled fish, steaks, chicken salad, stir-fry, albondigas, chile verde minus the Beans (for me anyway, it still hurts to eat them). Try the ricotta bake recipe, it's lasagne minus the noodles. Also go to a blog called The World According to Eggface, she's got tons of post surgery recipes that non-ops love. =)

[PdxMan 4,292]

What I was talking about has nothing to do with your marriage ... but life management.

I know I will probably come across as negative, but that is not my intention. I want you to succeed.

You had the surgery 1 year ago. You know the program. You know what you have to do. There are forces in your life that prevent you from doing what you know you need to do. That is what needs to be addressed. I can tell you what to cook, but if you don't have the motivation or support structure to do it ...

Here are the rules that I live by to support my program:

1. Don't drink half an hour before or after eating and don't drink while eating
   
2. Eat Protein first, veggies next, then carbs
   
3. Exercise
   

Here is a good post, too.

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/35857-top-3-tips-for-success/page__p__315196__hl__+pdxman%20+exercise__fromsearch__1#entry315196

[clk 3,519]

You've gotten some great advice here. You knew the answers before you posted, though! It's not easy but you can shed those last pounds to goal if you work at it.

It took me 17 months to get to goal and I lost a similar amount of weight. If the reason you're feeling like a failure is because you know you could be doing better (managing food and stress) then yes, okay, I can see that. But if you're beating yourself up for not meeting goal by one year, well...a lot of us don't.

I'm here to be your cheerleader: your sleeve is STILL there and it works exactly the same way as it used to. All you need is the discipline to eat properly (which you know how to do!) and record your food intake. The weight will come off more slowly now that you're closer to goal but if you start doing the right things again it will come off.

Everyone needs a counselor at different points in their life and you should take advantage of health insurance providing this valuable resource. Surgery on our stomachs doesn't fix our heads...and our heads, not our stomachs, made us overweight in the first place.

You can do this.

~Cheri

[gordatoflaca 1]

Thank You Cheri & PDXman, sorry I didnt respond sooner. I dont get on here much. Time for me is limited. I'm still stuck at 187 but since I last posted I had surgery again. I'd been dealing with Gallstones for over a year and doctors kept treating it as Acid Reflux I was also taken off any exercise for 2 months. I had bursitis in both of my legs. But I'm not starting to work out again and I feel great. I'm looking forward to losing more weight. Thanks for the tips and advice.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I am not a year out, but I do have a suggestion about family meals. You can eat the same thing as everyone else, just in very small portions and perhaps skipping any carb loaded side dish.

For example, last night I made a marinated chicken breast and served it with rice and oven roasted brussel sprouts. I had part of a chicken breast and some brussel sprouts. Hungry son ate rest of my chicken, his serving, plus most of the rice and maybe 2 brussel sprouts. Hubby got whatever was left.

This doesn't have to be time consuming, I buy individually frozen chicken breasts and have about 15 different ways of preparing it. I use frozen veggies (but the brussel sprouts were fresh). I can have dinner on the table in 30 minutes or less, and while stuff is cooking, I am loading/unloading dishwasher etc.

I also sometimes cook double quantity and serve it two days later, just zap some frozen veggies to go along with it to complete the leftover meal.

You can do that same theme with everything

-roast beef/potatoes/green beens - you have small portions and maybe skip the potato

-pork chops/apple sauce and brocolli and my guys would like macn'cheese with that - you skip the mac cheese

etc.

-stirfry of veggies and meat - you go light on the rice

-Protein heavy beef stew and you have a smaller portion and maybe skip the bread or whatever you would normally serve with it.

-oven broiled fish with peas and a side salad. maybe rest of family also has rice or something

I don't know anything about you or your tastes, but if your family only eats hotdogs and macn'cheese I don't have any good suggestions except that eating the way I described would probably be good for them too.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

oh, I forgot to say - - give yourself credit for what you have accomplished. I am hanging out about 191 and while I defintely could lose more pounds, what a wonderful thing to be under 200! Never forget where you came from and focus on the positive. I speaketh as a person who has regained weight too many times in the past...."protecting" the success that you have already had should be a top priority