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Hostility? Why?



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I have been commenting on these boards since August and lately it seems my comments and suggestions have been under attack. I dont understand this at all. I will answer the original poster to the best of my ability and share my experience, what I can eat, how much, etc. and inevitably someone will come back with rude comments, say I am misinformed? etc. How am I misinformed about my own journey? Anyways, I have about decided not to try to help anyone else because of this. I dont tell other people that they are wrong in their opinions. My opinion may be different but I dont call others out on theirs and argue with them about it. My experience is my own and I beleive I know what it is! I dont pad things, I just tell it like it is and what I do for me. It may not work for everyone but I thought that was the idea of a board, to get several peoples help and opinions and experience. Geez. If it happens again, I will be forced to stop commenting at all. Its sad that it has come to this because I used to love this board and it was a great help to me in the beginning. I was hoping to pay it forward. :(

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I personally have enjoyed reading things that you have replied to. You commented on a post of mine a week or so ago and it was along the same lines as others had posted. I think you should ignore the people that are giving you grief...you have been sleeved for a considerable amount of time and your journey can and will help people...we all may be different but a lot of the journeys are the same...

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I hope you will change your mind and continue to help people, like myself, on this forum. I just read over some of your posts and don't understand why anyone would feel compelled to take issue with anything you have said. Don't let one bad apple ruin the bunch....or is this throwing out the baby with the bath Water? Hmm, I don't know. Either way don't stop posting you have a lot to offer.

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I also find your comments very helpful! I'm sorry you have encountered negativity on the boards but I really hope it doesn't stop you from posting - you are a voice of experience and I value your opinion!

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Forensikchic, I totally hear what you are saying. I have taken a break from the board recently for this reason. A few people have messaged me and I have conversations with them, but that is about it.

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Can you message me with the comment that was made to you? ( If you want to ).I know we all think different .We are here to help each other as a family. I am sorry Tammy,you should not let this to stop you from posting here. I love your posts and your weight loss challenges ideas.

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It's the nature of the beast of internet forums. There's always someone out there that will be "holier than thou", or someone who vehemently disagrees with a particular opinion. I have learned after being on here since it's beginning nearly 3 years ago, take the good, what helps you, what encourages you, what you enjoy and leave the rest.

I reply to private messages more than I post because it's easier. I've some absurd things, and while I just shake my head in disbelief, I typically keep my fingers away from the "Reply" button, UNLESS it's absolutely medically/scientifically untrue information that has been posted. Then and only then, will I post with scientific and proven medical information to support my advice/opinion/information.

I've admittedly stopped posting here because of all the ludicrous posts, and repeat of the normal questions that have been answered 1000s of times. Plus, now since the VSG has become so popular, people jump in without being educated and then they get 20 different opinions on how, what, how much to eat, and get no true medical advice from their team. So, I try to stay out of those topics all together.

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Follow up here real quick ...

I made a post which summarized some research I had done regarding the mis-interpretation surrounding emails ...

I link to my post, but the whole thread may be a good read and reminder for all ... but even still, I struggle ...

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/28313-can-we-get-back-to-support-and-stop-attacking-each-other-please/page__view__findpost__p__241161

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I have been commenting on these boards since August and lately it seems my comments and suggestions have been under attack. I dont understand this at all. I will answer the original poster to the best of my ability and share my experience, what I can eat, how much, etc. and inevitably someone will come back with rude comments, say I am misinformed? etc. How am I misinformed about my own journey? Anyways, I have about decided not to try to help anyone else because of this. I dont tell other people that they are wrong in their opinions. My opinion may be different but I dont call others out on theirs and argue with them about it. My experience is my own and I beleive I know what it is! I dont pad things, I just tell it like it is and what I do for me. It may not work for everyone but I thought that was the idea of a board, to get several peoples help and opinions and experience. Geez. If it happens again, I will be forced to stop commenting at all. Its sad that it has come to this because I used to love this board and it was a great help to me in the beginning. I was hoping to pay it forward. :(

I hope you don't stop commenting because newbies like me need to hear the experiences of everybody. You said it right when you said that you were only sharing what works for you and that is exactly what I am trying learn from as many people as possible so please continue with your posts as I have found them very helfpful :)

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Can you message me with the comment that was made to you? ( If you want to ).I know we all think different .We are here to help each other as a family. I am sorry Tammy,you should not let this to stop you from posting here. I love your posts and your weight loss challenges ideas.

Hey Liliana! I didnt know you had become a moderator! Too cool!

Anyway, to the point...the last few things I have posted that are my experience to others have been pointed out as being wrong. One such said I was misinformed and making assumptions. I wrote that OP in a message to make sure I had the details correct and stood by my post but I wanted to make sure that she understood my intentions were good and I didnt want there to be a misunderstanding.

I was just getting the impression that people were not really wanting to hear what my experience was if they are going to call me out on it. I am not in the practice of doing this. I am sure my experience is not just like everyone elses. Maybe some folks can eat 1000 calories a day at two weeks out, who knows? I just dont want to see some new people try that and get into trouble with leaks, etc when MOST people's surgeons dont have anything like that in their plans. Its up to the poster to take all the ideas and suggestions and use the ones they think will help them in their personal journey. We are all entitled to share our experience and knowledge without being called out or argued with. Thats all I am saying.

PDXMAN--- I have seen them do this to you also and I was sure you would understand where I am coming from. Thanks for listening to me rant about this.

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It really helped that there are some people who enjoy my posts and want me to continue sharing my experiences. I really relied on posters with lots of experience, namely Tiffikins in the beginning. I was sad when she left for a while to be with her beautiful sweet daughter Tatum. I am glad to see her back here and there. I look forward to reading what she and others that are further out then me have to say.

When I need advice, someone further out has always helped me and I want to help others all I can. I guess you guys are right, Its a forum and its to be expected. I will ignore the bad and keep yapping about what works for me! LOL Thanks for the encouragement. :wub:

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Anyway, to the point...the last few things I have posted that are my experience to others have been pointed out as being wrong. One such said I was misinformed and making assumptions. I wrote that OP in a message to make sure I had the details correct and stood by my post but I wanted to make sure that she understood my intentions were good and I didnt want there to be a misunderstanding.

This was my post that you answered...and I actually took some of your advice...so like I said...ignore the person that is being a jerk off...if they don't like what you have to say then that is their issue...I like seeing you around!

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yes it was your post Brandi! There have been some since then but that was the major one that stuck in my crawl if you know what I mean. Im glad I could be of some help to you in your journey.

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Hey Liliana! I didnt know you had become a moderator! Too cool!

Anyway, to the point...the last few things I have posted that are my experience to others have been pointed out as being wrong. One such said I was misinformed and making assumptions. I wrote that OP in a message to make sure I had the details correct and stood by my post but I wanted to make sure that she understood my intentions were good and I didnt want there to be a misunderstanding.

I was just getting the impression that people were not really wanting to hear what my experience was if they are going to call me out on it. I am not in the practice of doing this. I am sure my experience is not just like everyone elses. Maybe some folks can eat 1000 calories a day at two weeks out, who knows? I just dont want to see some new people try that and get into trouble with leaks, etc when MOST people's surgeons dont have anything like that in their plans. Its up to the poster to take all the ideas and suggestions and use the ones they think will help them in their personal journey. We are all entitled to share our experience and knowledge without being called out or argued with. Thats all I am saying.

PDXMAN--- I have seen them do this to you also and I was sure you would understand where I am coming from. Thanks for listening to me rant about this.

Is obvious that she/he misunderstood that you were trying to help. I will let it go.I hope that you don't stop your posts,like I said we all enjoy them a lot. =)

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I've had the same thing happen a few times lately, it makes me sad too but I am glad this board has gotten me in touch with those who are helpful and now I also ask them for help in different venues such as Facebook and MFP. If it wasn't for this board, I wouldn't have the great support systems I have in those places now!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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