Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

my mom thinks my weight loss surgery will be complete over a weekend and i will have lost almost 100lbs. i tried to explain to her about the surgery, how the weight doesn't fall off overnight, and we have to work at keeping the weight off forever.

She still doesn't understand and thinks i will be thin forever, no problems or working at it, to succeed. keeping the weight loss. She said "i've only lost 40 lbs" I never should have told her. i told my dh and daughter, they are fine about the whole process and understand

anyone else have similar situations?

kathy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my mom thought that in one month after surgery i was going to be "skinny" lol n i told her i wish it were like that, but it takes 1-2 years to lose atleast 70% of my body weight..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My grandmother was similar in some ways... I would report back with "i'm down 40, i'm down 50" and she'd be like "oh, that's all? well thats great i guess"... I'm like really! I'm only 2months out! (I lost a bit before surgery). AND two of her closest friends had the bypass two years ago, she was always ranting about how wonderful they look, but she only saw them once a year lol.

It's hard when people have such a blase attitude about it. Hopefully with time she'll begin to understand that it is a process. Because seriously, if it was that easy, people would never hesitate to get surgery! We'd all be cured! LOL.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My best friend asked on the day of surgery, "how soon will you see results?" lol. I told her as soon as my big butt starts eating right and exercising!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe remind her that is didn't take a day to put it on & it won't take a day to take it off. Maybe print out some information for her to give her some realistic expectations so she can cheer you on! And if she doesn't then just come back here & we will!! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I don't know what's wrong with you all - I for one had IMMEDIATE results after surgery, I think I lost at least a full pound, between not eating, Water loss and the weight of the part of the stomach they cut out :)

It's funny the ideas some people get stuck in their head.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

, I empathize with how you feel. My dad had the gastric bypass 10 years ago and every time I talk to him on the phone, he asks me how much weight I have lost a few times during the conversation and makes a comment on how i would have lost more if I had the GB. Whatever! Parents just have a way of losing their filter when they talk to their kids and I am sure she doesn't mean to hurt your feelings intentionally.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My boyfriend was out of the country for 2 weeks when I was having WLS. He kept telling me he was worried he wouldn't recognize me at the airport when I came to pick him up. It's like, how much weight do you think one can lose in 2 weeks? LOL men.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My mother in law said the same thing. I will be seeing them next weekend and I had surgery 10 days ago. She says, "oh you'll be so thin when we see you" lol yeah right!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is crazy. And the companion thought that goes along with that its easy to lose weight...grr. I encounter this more from some than others.

WIth my mom though, she wants me to stop losing weight. I got this same reaction from someone who had bypass, for crying out loud. I told both of them i had about 60 lbs more to go to get to the topof the normal BMI range, and they both very disapprovingly shook their head and said that I would be way too thin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LoserMom, I know all to well about that. My sister told me that my weight goal was not going to be attractive because "you're not built to be that small"! Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Same here, LoserMama. I told a friend of mine that my goal weight is 150. She said I'd be too thin if I got to that weight. I had to inform her that 150 would be at the top of normal BMI range for someone my height, not the middle, not the bottom... the top. We've been friends for 7 years and she's only known me as big. We went to Walmart so I could buy some basketball-type shorts for working out and she insisted I get a size bigger than I actually needed. As I was trying them on (had to wear them over my jeans because the fitting room wasn't open), she said I shouldn't be discouraged if they were a bit tight because I was wearing jeans under them. Well, they were a little loose even over jeans and she said they looked good. I ended up buying them, but then returned them the next day because when I tried them on without jeans at home, they were way too big.

A year before my surgery, my dad lost about 100 pounds. He did it by just cutting out fast food. He still drinks coke all the time, eats ice cream, and can't do much working out because of his job. Before I had the surgery, he said I could lose weight like him if I was more disciplined. What he didn't understand is that I didn't drink soda or eat fast food, I DID work out, and while I didn't eat the best food, I didn't gorge myself all the time. I have PCOS and he didn't understand that I just COULDN'T lose the weight as easily as him.

After surgery, while he does say I'm doing well when I tell him how much I've lost, he goes on to say that I could be doing more if I was working out (which I am, 4-5 days a week) and ate better (which I am, at least better than him). He'll say keep going because I still got a ways to go. It's disheartening.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

These posts are cracking me up!! I know I am a week out and wish I were a size 4 already, but since u had a revision to sleeve I might lose slower, but some people are so silly thin after ten days lOl.. I needed a good laugh. I am laid up in the hospital bed with fever and elevated enzymes. Blah

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My grandmother actually told me the same with losing weight as far as my goal. She said and I quote "just be careful you don't want to lose much more weight" and that is at the point that I was 30-40 pounds above healthy bmi.

I just came to the conclusion that nobody else's opinion on where my weight loss should start or stop truly matters, my body will tell me when its happy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×