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I Have Told Everyone I Know? Am I In The Minority?



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Even the ones that think it is the easy way out, well yay me, I found the easy way. LOL

I love it!

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Well, the long and short of it is....I don't like a lot of attention. I attend a church of about 250-300 people and we are all very tight, and whether the attention is negative or positive, I just don't like being in the spotlight. There are people with bigger problems, and I just would rather the focus be on them. It's been kinda tough explaining why I'm on an almost 2 week trip to Dallas with my mom and boys and not my husband (who had to work), but it will blow over about 10 minutes after I get back.

My family...the ones whom I've told..have been supportive, which is good.

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I think what Sabrina was referring too was how people are creating different reasons for disappearing for a bit. I have seen people say they are telling people they are getting gallbladder surgery and what not.

I was not trying to offend anyone that chooses to tell people 'other' reasons... I am just sad for those that have to go there. The first time I told my family and friends I felt so free. And part of the process was admitting my weight to them. I have never felt better, mentally. Now to get the physical part taken care of :) yay!!

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I told everyone who asked I never felt comfortable lying about my surgery. I am proud of my decision and results.

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I am blessed to be a part of the most wonderful prayer group. They are praying for me and support me every step of the way. Whether they agree with my decision or not, they know I have prayed, researched, and prayed some more! As a grateful believer in Jesus Christ, I know this is God's plan for me at this time. If anyone wants to argue with me about it, they can take it up with HIM! But so far that has not happened. Since my husband and I live with and take care of my parents, I of course told them, as Jerry will have to be the caregiver as I recover. Dad and Mom, as well as my two adult children, are ecstatic about this for me, as they have worried about my weight for many years. The only one I have purposely not told is one of my sisters. She suffers from debilitating anxiety, and the worrying about me will not be good for her. Luckily, she lives in Oklahoma! I do not have a date yet, but am getting all the pre-op stuff out of the way, and I hope to get my date next week.

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I also tell everyone about my up coming WLS.

I'm so excited. As always, Im a trend setter at my employer, so I think all the other chubbies are envious, that they didn't think of it or get it done first!!! Ha ;-)

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I hear the same thing your not really heavy enough. I generally answer that my diabetes and BMI says otherwise. I'm scheduled for surgery on 2/29.

I honestly think the general public is just ignorant about weight loss surgery. You hear comments like that person only lost weight because of surgery. Many people aren't aware of everything that comes with surgery. Weight doesn't magically drop off it still requires eating well and exercise.

Hopefully with time people will gain more knowledge on weight loss surgery and get rid of the judgemental comments. Just venting

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I have told a very small group, some close friends, new friends in a sleeve support group, and my brother. Almost all of them have been supportive.

I know my stepmother would disapprove, gossip negatively about it and influence my Dad into being negative too so I haven't told him. Likewise some acquaintances would definitely be negative so I am not informing them.

I do not really want people in my workplace to know, as there is a lot of judgemental negativity there in a lot of respects, and I am sure I would be the butt of jokes etc with some people if it came out. I am naturally quite a discreet person about my private life and I think there is nothing wrong with being reserved about the details of my life except with close friends and family.

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I've told everyone, and I haven't tried to hide it. I am happy with my decision. When I first told people, I was told frequently that I wasn't heavy enough. I was, and I was worried I would become heavier.

My husband was worried about the surgery, and he said I didn't have to do it. He also says he has noticed that I'm happier and more active since the surgery.

The first time someone who didn't know about my WLS commented on my weight loss, I immediately mentioned I had WLS. But I realize it wasn't just the WLS that has caused the weight loss. I work out too, so now I mention my exercising routines and my wls.

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I only told the people closest to me. I already felt that people judged me for my weight, and I don't want them judging me for choosing WLS. Its really none of their business anyways, I am a very reserved person so they are kinda used to not knowing everything anyway.

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I am certainly not saying one way or the other is correct. For each person it is a personal decision whether or not to tell someone. I was just asking to see if I was being to open with those in my life. My Mother, Daughter, Sister, and Bestfriend are the closest people to me and all four of them have tried to convince me not to do it... I am also a firm believer in Christ and have had friends from church tell me that I shouldn't do it. But all of them have slowly come around, have been curious, and are supportive. So, yes, at times I have struggled with 'am I making the right chioce?', but in my heart and for my health the choice is obvious to me.

Thank you all for chiming in! This forum has been a great support. I love knowing that I am not alone in this journey :) xoxo

I respect your thoughts, I am sure you had no intention on offending anyone. I myself chose not to share it with anyone except for my husband and my sister in NY (last minute). The only reason I told her is we suffered devasting loses with our family in recent years and if something happened to me and she was not aware, I did not want to leave her in the pain we suffer in daily with other family members.

People where I work are cruel, doggy dog, mean spirited caddy women. No need to share my personal life with them. My children would only worry and try to talk me out of it. I was not looking for approva;. I know what I needed to do. I also most importantly did not want to burden them with having to keep a secret b/c I wanted them to. I wanted to focus on getting prepared not the "oh no mom.. what if?"

One major thing why I did not tell my girlfriends closest to me or a sister here, that lives close. They are judgemental. My sister always compares her large self to others and if they lose she says oh look at all their loose skin? Really? My so called friends I have heard speak of this lady that has had by pass say how she is wacked for cutting out what God gave her and so forth. I did not want to deal with any adversity. The only situation I can change is me and that is all I really was concerned with. I am not ashamed . I am elated, excited and have hope for the first time in many many years.

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I've told almost everyone I know. It's kinda funny, because the people who I thought might have problems with it were 100% behind me yet those who I thought would be fine were the ones with reservations. I told people one at a time and was very open about my reasons why. I've always been somewhat emotionally distant about how I really feel about things and have often used humor to deflect uncomfortable situations. It was exhausting to meet my friends/family without any jokes but in the end it has created a closer relationship. That being said, I have no problem telling people but I also haven't taken out a billboard ad. I figure people will draw their own conclusions when the weight starts to fall off.

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i told everyone i know so that when i begin to lose weight i didnt get 1000 questions. i figured that all my freinds have seen me struggle with weight so me making the decision to feel better is not an issue. my co-workers are supportive and i found out that one of 2 of my coworkers have had wls, but they just had it years ago.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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