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Insentive Boyfriend



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Communicate your feelings to him clearly. If he doesn't change, he's not going to...and it will get worse with time, not better. When someone really loves you they show it. Love is an action word.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. YOU ARE WORTH IT...hugs!

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Communicate your feelings to him clearly. If he doesn't change, he's not going to...and it will get worse with time, not better. When someone really loves you they show it. Love is an action word.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. YOU ARE WORTH IT...hugs!

Amen!!!

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I had the opposite thing going on. I had to convince my husband more than once that's it okay to bring pizza home and okay to eat in front of me. Now we pretty much eat the same and he will give me a bit of food from his plate if we go out. My daughter will do that too.

Others are right. Have that talk. Tell him what you need and watch what happens. It's not always about you, but he needs to be cognizant about the difficulties are are experiencing.

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I have always thought it was a load of crap that a guy just "doesn't realize" - then i realized, that sometimes they don't. Some people, both men and women don't pay attention to the details. Some people, unless something causes them direct pleasure or pain, do not get the details. My husband has been one of them for a long time. That has changed a lot over the past year. Looking at his family, I get why he's been that way - and I never gave him a reason to turn into an adult. I did all the detail thinking and planning. Until about a year ago. Does he need reminders? Yup, but he's gotten a lot better about it. If he hadn't, I'd be single :)

I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I hope he just had an obliviousness to your situation- just don't expect perfection overnight :)

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..just how did he overule you?

I probably would have told him see u later going to panera!

You should probably be asking yourself why you allowed him to overule you in a situation like this.

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I agree with what alot of people are saying. 1) guys, or even just people who don't understand the surgery, just don't get it. When I had mine I laid down ground rules (no eating in front of me for a while and while I'm recovering he needs to do the house chores and take care of me) and was totally honest and POINT BLANK about what I needed/wanted. If I don't tell him, he wouldn't know, and its not right to be upset with him if he's actually just clueless. 2) if this is all understood by him and he refuses to accept it and help you then it IS his fault and he IS truly being insensitive.

But also nobody has said this yet (unless I skimmed over it) but when I was losing I was soooooooooooooooooooo hormonal. I've heard alot of people say they got hormonal when they lose weight because the fat kind of suspends excess hormones and when the fat breaks down the hormones are released. I'd get mad at my husband only to realize later it was over nothing. Hormones are crazy. So whenever I thought he was being rude or insensitive I made it a point to really ask myself if he was actually being a jerk or if it was my hormones twisting a situation.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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      1. This update has no replies.
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