"you Look Happier"

[Fusilli66 22]

I am almost 4 months out from surgery now and have lost almost 60 lbs (some pre-op but most since surgery). I have gone from a size 20 to a size 14 in the blink of an eye and I'm still losing. My life has changed in so many ways. I feel better, the constant pain in my back is gone, I breathe easier, I have energy to do things and for sure I look better. I was aware of all of these things. But Sunday I was made aware of something else.....how much happier I am. Obviously I'm happy with the loss and all that has come with it, but I didn't realize that I am just generally a happier person. I am always in a good mood, I'm not moody at all, I have little stress and I just love life again, something I hadn't done in a long time.

On Sunday I went to a super bowl party and having seen someone I hadn't seen since last summer, she of course mentioned my weight loss and how good I looked. But she ended it with saying that there is something in my face that she can see that I just look happier. So interesting. I hadn't realized it before how unhappy I was, and how I was putting that out there. I didn't realize that I gave off an unhappy air.

I am very lucky, I have a good life, a husband, 2 great sons, a job, a home. I am one of the lucky ones. But I never felt happy. I guess I was depressed, although I did antidepressants for a while and they didn't change anything. But the fact is I was standing in the way of my own happiness by allowing myself to get fatter and fatter. I don't know why, but I was. There was very little I enjoyed in life, other than food. I was my own worst enemy. And I am so glad I am not anymore.

I just wake up happier, I like what I see in the mirror, I like how my clothes fit. I like just throwing something on to go to work and not having to spend 20 minutes figuring out how to make it look ok. I just get dressed now, any pants, any shirt, any shoes and they all look good. I like how I feel. I used to feel like I was wearing a fat suit that I couldn't take off. I always felt heavy, bloated, lumpy. Now I feel lighter....metaphorically, as well as literally.

This surgery was the best thing I ever did - it has changed my life in more ways than I ever thought it would. It isn't just about dropping pounds, its about changing your life physically and emotionally. Thanks for reading, I just needed to share!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Wowwwww..... very well said. Keep Rockin your new You! Very proud of you....

[longer-life 139]

Wow, I could have written many parts of this. LOVED your post. Thanks for sharing. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!

[Texasgirl73 8]

I loved what you have said about how you feel. I have my surgery in 32 days and I can only hope I am as happy as you at 4 months out. Thank you for sharing....Texasgirl73

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,280]

Soooo amazing! And this is what this is all about... congrats on your awesome success and your lovely NSV!

[Hip2bfit 3]

I love the energy in your writing! What a breath of fresh air! You are inspiring! Way to go!

[MuddySoles 9]

I love this post! You just inspired me and I cannot wait to be where you are in 4 months. It's so good to hear someone's positive energy.

Congrats on your success!

[mommy794 119]

DITTO from me, I'm 3 days post op and this is just what I needed to read thank you!

[sunnyd 32]

Wow- well said! I think so many of us can relate to what you've written. Congrats to you on your success and happiness!

[sleeve 4 me 910]

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My hubby tells me I'm so much happier now , what's weird is that I always thought I was happy, I guess now it just shows a whole lot more now

[Fusilli66 22]

I'm so glad you guys liked my post. It is truly how I feel and I was hoping I would help someone else. Pay it forward. I was never nervous about the surgery but there was a little apprehension. But reading posts like this kept me inspired, pre and post op and I wanted to do that to. Before surgery I didn't tell very many people that I was having it. Since surgery I tell almost everyone. I have no reason not to and I want to be an advocate for it and inspire others. When I look in the mirror sometimes I can't believe what I see. And this is still at 190 lbs! I can't imagine how I will continue to feel 20 or 30 lbs from now. Quite frankly, I am so happy at 190, that even if I never lost another pound again I could live the rest of my life at this weight and be happy with myself. My goal is set a little high, higher than what 'they" consider a normal BMI to be. But I don't really care. I'm 45 years old, 5' 5", I was 140 lbs. when I was 21 and really don't expect or even want to be 140 lbs again. I think 165 is good for me, for my body. I like curves, I like a little meat, I like having a full butt, thats just me. It's all about doing this for yourself and making yourself happy!

[BKdoll 3]

That is beautiful. You are changing on the inside and out!

[carbgrl 119]

I can definitely relate. I always feel so miserable when I'm overweight and it affects other parts of your life, relationships, attitude, outlook... People who haven't lived it don't understand. When I'm losing weight and getting close to my goal (yo-yo-ing) there's a light inside me shining. Making everything else brighter.

As someone else on here said, I want to sparkle!

[june13sleever 223]

I love this post. I really do. This is exactly how I feel. I didn't look uphappy, I just was always crying. I was crying like every other day. Smiling and crying at the same time. I only cry at sad movies now with an occassional cry before I get my period...But I am not crying about my weight, my Hair loss, my flabby thighs or anything that has to do with me.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Ahhhhhhhh, big hugs to you for all your success! You have earned it a million times and over. We are all going to be successful in our journey to a happier self. Speaking for me, I'm almost there. Can't wait, but yet, beginning to incorporate my mind and body and dancing. I love my new me. Keep Rockin our Sleeves.