Are You Telling People That Your Having This Surgery?

[kcsmicah 51]

Just wanted to get some opinions on this topic.... I made the decision to tell all of my friends and family as well as coworkers that I was having the sleeve done (01/20/12). I think that for me it will give me a huge support group as well as a lot more accountability. What are your thoughts and reasons behind them?

Kacy

[Joiebean 53]

I think its a pretty personal decision about who you tell. I decided to tell my close family and friends and my boss. I pretty much knew going into it who would support me and who would question my decision so I thought about how I was going to tell them for awhile before I did. I came up with something similar to this "I've decided to get the Vertical Sleeve surgery. It is similar to gastric bypass (which I added because no one knew what a sleeve was) but without the re-routing that bypass requires. I'm happy to answer any questions you have about it and discuss your concerns, but will not entertain any judgement of my decision, so I ask that before you ask me any questions, you consider whether they are questions or judgements." Even though it sounds really technical (I even said this to my father and brother) it laid the ground work that, while I am happy to discuss it with them, I won't tolerate judgement. So when they started to sound judgemental, I could point it out much easier because I introduced that caveat right in the beginning. It also made them evaluate their thoughts more thoroughly before asking me. All in all, while there have been a few judgemental comments, I know who really has my back and is rooting for me.

[Bedhead 158]

For me- only my husband and doctors know. They are all very supportive about my decision. Nobody else will know. Not my parents. Not my siblings. Not my friends- nobody. I'm not at all ashamed of getting the surgery, I just have ZERO desire to hear people's opinions on the matter. As a mother of three I've learned that everyone has an opinion about everything (natural birth, csection, breastfeeding, formula, exersaucers, etc, etc, etc) and listening to opinions is just as annoying as constantly telling people 'thank you but my mind is made up'. I'll be very honest with everyone who asks about the weight loss- I am restricting my caloric intake and working out like a mad-woman. Which is indeed true, zumba and cardio kickboxing start on Monday!

[Estella 11]

Just wanted to get some opinions on this topic.... I made the decision to tell all of my friends and family as well as coworkers that I was having the sleeve done (01/20/12). I think that for me it will give me a huge support group as well as a lot more accountability. What are your thoughts and reasons behind them? Kacy

If your co-workers, friends and family happen to be very supportive, great. Don't be surprised though when they tell you to back off, because they heard of a friend's friend who had the surgery and gained all the weight back (usually a lap-banded person but they can't tell the difference), or when they give you the number for some new diet group or tell you that "it's all in your head, you need to change your thinking instead!"

I heard so much B.S. from people I considered intelligent and supportive, that I decided to keep it to myself. They haven't read the researches that prove the effectiveness of bariatric surgeries and the ineffectiveness of other dieting, instead they read the "10 tips that will help you lose those extra holiday pounds" in women's magazines. They believe the myth of weight loss by dieting, I don't. I didn't want to hear their views and opinions because it was not at all helpful.

[christin 54]

I started out planning to tell nobody except my daughter. Then I opened up to my two closest friends. Their reaction was so supportive (one of them volunteered to stay with me the week I am out of town for surgery!). Fueled by the initial support, I finally told my father right before Christmas. He is a little negative (expected that), but I just wanted him to know in case anything happened.

While I feel fine about sharing, it may only be with a select group of people as I go along in the journey. I'm just not sure yet.

[Caliblonde 25]

I've told a lot of people about my surgery. Everyone has been very supportive and I haven't heard any negative comments. I have had some people ask questions that annoy me greatly...mainly people who start fishing for information about how much I weigh such as "how much more do you want to lose", "what weight do you want to get down to", "how much do you want to lose total", etc. I know that they are just curious, but it feels very invasive for someone to basically be asking how much I weighed when I started.

[Flagstaffian 31]

Hells YES, I'm telling EVERYBODY! I am proud of myself for making a decision to live a life of happiness and health! I can't wait to meet sleevie! (((HUGS))) Sarah Flag

[hadouni 301]

I've told a few close friends, the lady who waxes my legs and family. I haven't told work- they think I'm having some GI "issues" fixed.

[minaleigh 95]

I told my parents, my roommate (for obvious reasons), and my two best friends. I sort of told my work, but just said I was having surgery, because I needed to explain why I had a doctor's note saying I couldn't do "this, this, and this" for the time being. When coworkers asked why I was gone so long, I just explain I had complications due to a surgery, which is truth.

Sadly, my mom and one of my friends are gossipers. Went to a party and two of the people there who are my friends but aren't super close knew about my surgery, even though I haven't talked to them about it.

My mom told my family, which is understandable. They had to find out why I was in the hospital 3 different times in 2 weeks, including a visit to the ER! But she also told her friend, who then decided it'd be best to tell EVERYONE.

[retired-loser 13]

I have only told my kids (grown) and my boyfriend, and they have been very supportive.. I just didn't want to have a lot of questions and "advice" beforehand. Thant's just me. I didn't want people telling me what they had heard, or how could I di this? After, I will answer all the questions they want.

[TheRealMeIsHere! 863]

I'm kind of looking forward to seeing the shocked look on people's faces, when they see the dramatic weight loss.

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

I have told my parents and my husband and no one else. My parents were pretty supportive and I know my Dad is worried about me. I have diabetes type 2 and I'm only 35 and my BMI is 38. I just found out about the diabetes. It scared me into doing this surgery because I need to get my weight under control ! My brother and sister were both pre-diabetic in their 20's! I should have known it would catch up with me. My younger sister had gastric bypass several years ago because she was scared of the diabetes. My mom is diabetic and has had terrible control and it scares me. I don't want those complications when I get older. I may tell my children but my teenage daughter is overweight and I'm worried that she will feel insecure or upset. Maybe this will motivate her because she loves junk food (I can't control it--she drives around with friends and they buy McDonalds etc) and hates exercise. I am thinking about just telling her I am losing weight by cutting calories and exercising (which is true) and this will motivate her. But I will not pressure her into losing weight because I know that it can cause life long struggles. Anyway, I don't know if I will tell anyone else. I know my parents may tell a few family members but I am probably not going to tell anyone else.

[Bypassjourney 88]

I have only told my kids and my sister as far as my family goes because the rest of them are gossiping nuts and I know I wont have their support anyhow. I told two close guy friends at work and one female co-worker that I work closely with and consider(ed) a friend. My boss also knew I had been going to the appointments for insurance approval. I am finally scheduled so told him today and said I wasn't going to be telling people until I get back from leave. He is obligated by HIPPA laws not to tell anyone and I know he wouldn't even if that weren't the case. I told the girl I work with and then said I was keeping it quiet for now but will tell everyone when I get back. She said "everybody already knows about it and they have been asking me questions but I tell them to ask you". I am SO upset with her! The only way these people know is because of her big mouth. I am so mad at her right now. Why can't people just mind their own business? So now I am faced with feeling I need to tell people before I leave so that I can get my version of it told because I guarantee she will be blabbing the whole time I am gone. And this is for ME to tell, not her. This really upsets me!

[Rootman 1,101]

told NO ONE besides my wife BEFORE surgery - mainly becasue I was going to Mx and self pay. I did not want to listen to the moaning and "warnings" I would hget from them - and got AFTER I had my surgery and told everyone.

Post surgery I tell EVERYONE. If someone asks how I did it or the subject of weight loss comes up. People need to know it works.

[mona777 12]

I ONLY TOLD MY SISTER AND MADE HER PROMISE NOT TO TELL FAMILY OR FRIENDS. I WAS SLEEVED ON 12/20/11, SOME HAVE NOTICED MY WEIGHT LOSS BUT I SAY I'M EATING LESS AND EXERCISING, WHICH IS TRUE! I FEEL IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS WHAT I'VE DONE AND I DON'T NEED THE OPINIONS OR THE GOSSIP WHILE I'M HEALING. I'VE ALREADY HEARD SOME POSITIVE COMMENTS (YEAH!!!) AND SOME NEGATIVE FROM SOME FAMILY LIKE "HOW MUCH WEIGHT DO YOU PLAN ON LOSING?, CAUSE U DON'T WANNA LOSE TOO MUCH AND LOOK SICK." COMMENTS LIKE THAT IN THE PAST WOULD MAKE ME QUIT. BUT NOW I SAY "IF I DON'T KEEP LOSING I WILL BE SICK! I HAVE HBP, JOINT PAIN, sleep APNEA. I'M GETTING HEALTHY!" AND THAT SHUTS EM UP FAST. LOL I'M SOOOO HAPPY!!!! I'VE DONE THIS AND MAYBE I'LL TELL THEM A LONG TIME FROM NOW, BUT FOR NOW I'M GOOD.