Hi everyone,

I've been a lurker for quite a long time but this is my first posting. I had my sleeve surgery done last Wednesday (12/13). I'm feeling so, so, NOT normal yet and I'm scared I've made a mistake.

Hmmm, where to begin about how I feel? I know this is strange, but I'm going to make a short list to keep it succinct:

1. I feel scared because I'm thinking about food so much. I know this surgery wasn't supposed to lobotomize the overeating part of my brain (lol) but I really thought food would be the farthest thing from my mind right now. I thought that food thoughts would only come into play once I began eating solid food (stage 3, according to my surgeon). Am I this addicted to food that I crave it even through all this discomfort? Does this mean I'll never get my body, and my mind, healthy when it comes to food?

2. I also feel scared because my body does at times, during the day, feel some hunger. It's true that it's not anything like what it used to be. I'm getting in my 64 ounces of Fluid and 3 Protein shakes (and getting in that fluid is no picnic, let me tell you), so why do I feel hunger? I'm trying so hard to learn the difference between head hunger and real hunger, but sometimes it just feels undeniably like real hunger. Is it premature for me to think I am not going to be a success story?

3. I'm still having quite a bit of pain, which I'm trying to manage with just Tylenol but sometimes I need to take the stronger stuff but then I feel so out of it and not able to be there for my little girls. My husband has been amazing, but I feel like I'm putting SO much on him and now he's sick. Also, there's the lovely ongoing diarrhea - with the anxiety right along with it that I shouldn't be still experiencing it. I need to check in with my doctor on that one.

4. I'm a bit of a control freak and it's hard to see the house messy but no energy to do anything about it, but I need to get over it.

5. My surgeon can be a bit of a jackass, and I hate what I wuss I've been around him. It's like I've lost myself. Usually I'm much stronger than this, but he's supposed to be one of the best and I just really, really wanted to have this surgery.

6. I want to go to support group but may not be able to start for another week due to not being able to drive yet. But even when I go, I feel like I have so many emotions but yet I know the meeting isn't about just me.

Friends (and I don't know you yet but I hope you will soon be friends), this is rough. Please help me feel not so alone. I promise that if you help me with any reassurance and wisdom, I'll pay it forward and help the next lost person who needs help.

Sorry about the total lack of succinctness! And thank you in advance for your help.

I am only 3 weeks post-op, so I am right there in it with you. It sounds like you have a great supportive husband, so let him support you! He probably feels a lack of control with your situation (as husbands do) and letting him care for you and your kids will make him feel better while you rest and get better too. The dishes and laundry can wait- you need to take care of you for the time being.

Being on liquids for 4 weeks will make you hungry and even agitated about the things you can't eat. I just graduated to pureed and am feeling so much more satisfied. I still LOVE food. I will love food whether I am fat or thin, sleeved or not, but now I can cook, watch cooking shows and not feel sad or angry. I can cook a great dinner for my kids and be excited for them without being sad for me. It is a transition- don't be discouraged- talk to others, share your story and listen to theirs. You will be feeling better in no time.