I was so excited to be sleeved. I planned on going to MX. I had high hopes of making it happen by Jan. Long story short, everything financially wrong that could of happened, did. I was not approved for a loan at my credit union , like I assumed I would be and some unexpected $'s are needed for one of my children.

I have a sizeable amount saved now, (yard sale, working doubles) about a third. The remaining amount I do not see happening that quick. I have options to pay a much higher rate of interest but really am not comfortable with that or the high monthly payment. I do not want to stress over financial issues after being sleeved. I also do not want to put all the pressure on my husband to carry the load.

I wait tables in a high volume restaurant and also clean house a couple days a week. That is something I will not be able to do I believe, for at least 3or 4 weeks minimum. post surgery. On top of that I have chosen not to share my surgery with anyone at work for they are very caddy and judgemental, including my boss at the restaurant. Not legal, or fair but it is what it is. I do not want conflict or drama. The more low key the better. So what do I say about leaving work that long, no Dr. note to be out of work for a few weeks for surgery. I can take a leave of absence but lose my seniorty (perks of being there, good sections, schedule, it effects your tips) On top of that, I have no health insurance, what if I have issues afterwards?

I want the surgery sooooo bad, but sometimes I wonder if I am talking myself out of it. I believe these are legitimit concerns. Everything looks so uphill, so now all these things are whirling in my mind...... I just start eating crazy again, discouraged.

I sit at the computer and get on VST and look all around, I post some and comment but the last few weeks feel like the the person no one picked to be on the team. Yep, I am feeling sorry for myself!!!

I hear others excitment and see so many move forward, it actually has not been that long for me, and people are setting there dates and I just want to cry. I am happy for everyone that is able to get this surgery and I know my time will come but I just can no longer visualize it.

Now my slender , no fat issued husband just seems to be pretty laid back and not so ready to make all this happen for me. It is like he thinks it might of been a fleeting thought with me , like "maybe one day we can take a trip to Hawaii thought". You know like....... "maybe I can be sleeved one day". I need some encouragement and inspiration.

I am not liking myself or my attitude. I feel really alone.

Can not find spell check and forgive my lack of computer skills. Sorry so long.

Thanks for any thoughts.

First off, a couple of questions -

How long have you been contemplating having the surgery?

What is the cost of having the surgery in Mexico? (just my curiosity)

Secondly, let me say you are very wise to keep your plans on the down-low at work. Co-workers can be so mean-spirited and competitive. As far as what to tell your employer regarding the time off, tell him/her you have a family issue that demands your attention. Regarding the speculation that "what if?" you have physical issues after the surgery - don't go there. Think positive. As with any other challenge in life, you will handle it if and when it occurs.

You are not talking yourself out of it - you are being practical. All the things you talk about in your post are valid; just be careful not to borrow trouble.

Have you and your husband talked seriously and at length about having this surgery? Is he supportive of it?

And lastly, go ahead and have an occasional pity party, but don't stay too long at the ball, Cinderella.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite cliches - "Worry is a fast getaway on a wooden horse."

With today's Hippa laws and such it is illegal for your employer to inquire about an absence. Ask your PCP if he/she would write a doctors note to get you out of work for your procedure in MX. Then when/If people at work ask about it, be discreet and don't say much. That's what I did, and nobody has had the balls to push the issue. a simple, "I'm not dying, just having a little operation" and be done with it. Of course you could come out with an outlandish story just for fun, like your getting a boob job ... A good story was on my list.

Thank you both! Wise words. I considered the band a few years ago but was hesitant b/c my ex sister in law had one, lost a lot of weight then almost died and has several issues to this day. That kind of did it for me. I kept looking it up and found the sleeve. I never seen it as a option for I do nto and have not had insurance for several years, one that has covered WLS anyway. I thought it was always out of reach ($$$$, in the US) then i heard you can go to MX for less than $6K.

I actually decided and this was for me and commited to it several months ago. I