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SEX...TMI??? I Know But I Gotta "ASK"!!!



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I agree with feedyoureye. finding a good counselor may help.

fluffy, lol i DID go on a shopping spree last week since I'm CLOSE to goal size and considering winter stuff can be a little baggy and be ok, i finally gave in. i'm holding off on serious bra/underwear spending until i'm at goal..at least for VS/Fred's stuff. Believe me I've been looking! I did buy several bra/underwear sets at LB recently so I hope that boosts the girls back where they belong. I think I may just end up putting a "no braless sex" rule in place :P;) dh could care if i wore a burlap sack he's so enamored with my new body so i know it's all in my own head. funny story... there's a rumor going around that my dh is going around town with some skinny chick NOT his wife (when in fact it IS his wife..even my closest friends have told me i look like someone entirely not like me)... LOL so our joke is that he's cheating on his wife with his wife.

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I agree with feedyoureye. finding a good counselor may help.

fluffy, lol i DID go on a shopping spree last week since I'm CLOSE to goal size and considering winter stuff can be a little baggy and be ok, i finally gave in. i'm holding off on serious bra/underwear spending until i'm at goal..at least for VS/Fred's stuff. Believe me I've been looking! I did buy several bra/underwear sets at LB recently so I hope that boosts the girls back where they belong. I think I may just end up putting a "no braless sex" rule in place :tongue2: :wink1: dh could care if i wore a burlap sack he's so enamored with my new body so i know it's all in my own head. funny story... there's a rumor going around that my dh is going around town with some skinny chick NOT his wife (when in fact it IS his wife..even my closest friends have told me i look like someone entirely not like me)... LOL so our joke is that he's cheating on his wife with his wife.

LOL! I love it. Going around town with skinny chick. That is hilarious.

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ahhhh that is funny!!!

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It's his own insecurities that are coming out n being projected onto u. Don't let it get u down. Help him get healthy too ;0)

Sigh... was looking forward to that estrogen storm everyone talks about. The one where the fat melts and releases estrogen and the libido goes through the roof... sigh... I guess menopause and the hysterectomy leached all the estrogen. Maybe husbands comments don't help either.... You lost 40 lbs... where... hmmn your stomach is collapsing in on itself, u gonna lose that on your neck? ur breasts used to be fuller, you got what... about 40 lbs left just in you stomach? how come ur stomach is starting to sag... u need to lose more and it will go away...

Sorry had to vent.

Khy

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way better!!!! whoo hoo! just discovered a position that used to be my favorite before weight gain, and havent been able to do in a very long time. i was just able to do it again :D

loving it!! so is the hubby!

i agree with the others that it is his self confidence going down worrying that other men are gonna start noticing you. my hubby has already told me that he is worried about that. i told him that i chose him before i gained the weight and there is no reason for me to not keep chosing him after i lose it too. he loved me through all of this and has been my biggest supporter. even when i was at my highest weight and i had to step on the scale and was obviosly worried about his reaction to how much i weighed he said to me, "dont worry about how much you weigh baby, i love you no matter what your size is."

how could any other man take my eyes off of him when he loves me through thick and thin, literally.

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way better!!!! whoo hoo! just discovered a position that used to be my favorite before weight gain, and havent been able to do in a very long time. i was just able to do it again :biggrin2:

loving it!! so is the hubby!

i agree with the others that it is his self confidence going down worrying that other men are gonna start noticing you. my hubby has already told me that he is worried about that. i told him that i chose him before i gained the weight and there is no reason for me to not keep chosing him after i lose it too. he loved me through all of this and has been my biggest supporter. even when i was at my highest weight and i had to step on the scale and was obviosly worried about his reaction to how much i weighed he said to me, "dont worry about how much you weigh baby, i love you no matter what your size is."

how could any other man take my eyes off of him when he loves me through thick and thin, literally.

My situation is similar. My husband knew me way back from the time I was 13. I was in dance for so many years so I was thin. I was even thin through high school after I quit dance. And yet, I was still thin-ish when we first started dating in 00. He was right there with me gaining and has always been loving & accepting of me "whether you weigh 160 pounds or 500 pounds". I think my husband is ok with other men noticing me (as long as that's where it stays) because he knows it's a confidence booster for me. I used to get checked out all the time and then nothing for a lot of years when I was obese. He chuckled when the two bartenders were falling over themselves to come get my order before they noticed I was with someone.

I wish the husbands who have these insecurities would just be cool. On top of all the good pure reasons we choose surgery, they've got to know there's another small (or sometimes bigger) reason and it's them. We want to be attractive for them and have great sex again and be confident. I know that's one of the things I was excited about going into this. I wouldn't feel ashamed of my body and feeling awkward/unable to breathe...

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I'd love to know what position that is!

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My situation is similar. My husband knew me way back from the time I was 13. I was in dance for so many years so I was thin. I was even thin through high school after I quit dance. And yet, I was still thin-ish when we first started dating in 00. He was right there with me gaining and has always been loving & accepting of me "whether you weigh 160 pounds or 500 pounds". I think my husband is ok with other men noticing me (as long as that's where it stays) because he knows it's a confidence booster for me. I used to get checked out all the time and then nothing for a lot of years when I was obese. He chuckled when the two bartenders were falling over themselves to come get my order before they noticed I was with someone.

I wish the husbands who have these insecurities would just be cool. On top of all the good pure reasons we choose surgery, they've got to know there's another small (or sometimes bigger) reason and it's them. We want to be attractive for them and have great sex again and be confident. I know that's one of the things I was excited about going into this. I wouldn't feel ashamed of my body and feeling awkward/unable to breathe...

yes, i have been with my hubby since i was 15 years old. when we first started dating i was 5'9" and 120 pounds. so i was super skinny. when we got married, i was 18 and still weighed the same.....then i got pregnant and gained one hundred pounds! i went back down to about 160 and looked good...and he started getting insecure because we lived on a military base where there is like 10 men to one women. so yet again i got pregnant....and gained more weight, lost that baby, got pregnant again, gained more weight, lost that baby...never lost any of the weight from those pregnancy's and then got pregnant again. by the time i got pregnant with the 4th pregnancy i weighed 200 pounds again, and at the end of that one, which i didnt miscarry, i had gained another 120 pounds. he loved me the same at all of the weights, but i didnt love myself the same. i was discusted with my size. i think he knows finally that i have been with him for 20 years and im not going anywhere, not at 120 pounds, and not at 320 pounds. i guess we are all guilty of feeling insecure with something in our lives. :)

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So much better which is funny, cause i though it was good before. Now I strut, pose and shake like a hussy for my fortunate husband. Lucky me.

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way better!!!! whoo hoo! just discovered a position that used to be my favorite before weight gain, and havent been able to do in a very long time. i was just able to do it again :biggrin2:

loving it!! so is the hubby!

i agree with the others that it is his self confidence going down worrying that other men are gonna start noticing you. my hubby has already told me that he is worried about that. i told him that i chose him before i gained the weight and there is no reason for me to not keep chosing him after i lose it too. he loved me through all of this and has been my biggest supporter. even when i was at my highest weight and i had to step on the scale and was obviosly worried about his reaction to how much i weighed he said to me, "dont worry about how much you weigh baby, i love you no matter what your size is."

how could any other man take my eyes off of him when he loves me through thick and thin, literally.

Where did you get him and does he have brothers???? Seriously! I want one like that!

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Where did you get him and does he have brothers???? Seriously! I want one like that!

haha....no he doesnt sorry. he is truely wonderful. i am very blessed. i was fortunate to find him while i was still in highschool....yes that is right, a true highschool sweetheart. i know that i love him more now then i ever did back then, because i finally figured out what a great thing i have. he has also just gotten better and better looking with age. seriously! he is 6'2" 190lbs and has dark brown hair and steel blue eyes. he wears a short goatee, and short military crew cut! yummy! hehe

:ciappa:

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know it was addressed to the gals but I have to chime in too - YES it is better for BOTH partners after a weight loss.

Diito :)

I used to have the labido of a 14 year old...

then I had surgery... 100# down...

Sex is great- but wow- has the thoughts left the brain...

I think about it once a week... :(

what happened? whoa! everything works well- it just seems things have changed...

anyone else?

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I'd love to know what position that is!

I think that question was aimed at me :)

um....sideways ;P

kinda like two sissors crossing eachother. totally wonderful.

just gotta big gift from my hubby today too.....something that really made me smile, havent gotten that gift in a looooooong time!

reeeeeeaaaaaalllllly missed it!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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