Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

Concerns

I know that one of my major concerns as a single gal, is how I will be perceived by men after surgery. I have average self esteem but have never had too much attention from men (besides my close friends). I've heard many people talk about on this board about how they get extra attention after they start losing weight. I'm not sure how I will handle that. The idea of it kinda frightens me to be honest. Do any of you share this concern? Have any of you experienced this extra attention? If so, how did you handle it? I would hope I would just take it in stride, but I think something inside of me will be bitter because these people never noticed me before. I hope that when I do eventually meet somone, it will be someone who did not know me before surgery.

  • Replies 2
  • Views 592
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Featured Replies

Hmm -- I kinda feel the same way too. I wouldnt say I would be bitter, but perhaps a bit cynical. I surely wouldnt know what to do with the extra attention.

However, this surgery surely has boosted my self confidence. I was never short on confidence with anything related to my work or my studies or my personality. But I never realized that the self-image that I had on my mind about myself was purely as a 'brainy'. All my colleagues call me that and I didnt realize that I was in that cacoon and have been hesitating to see me in another dimension - purely physical. Even now, 6 weeks past surgery, I'm just learning to accept my body as part of that self-image.

This surgery was my only chance at a healthy life. But it feels good to know that it has so many un-anticipated good side-effects.

legnarevocrednu - I wish you all success in your journey!

  • 11 months later...

I've thought a lot about this too. In a perfect world, after surgery I would find a great guy who would be able to look at pictures of me before surgery and say "you look really pretty in this picture." I feel like it's a Catch-22: in order to date more and find the right guy, I need to loose weight; but, I want to find a guy who doesn't care how much I weigh...

I'm with you, I anticipate feeling very cynical and jaded in social settings after my surgery. Right now, people look right through me or ignore me. When/if they actually notice me and pay attention to me after surgery, I can totally see myself being angry that I had to go to such drastic measures to get some idiot at a bar to look at me. I just have to keep reminding myself that that's not the reason I'm doing this...

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.