Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Scared to be SKINNY



Recommended Posts

I dont know if im the only one that feels this way and I would like somebody to talk to plz. Here it goes........I'm 21 about to be 22 and I've been fat a majority of my life. Since I was 8 I've been picked on, taunted and all that jazz. At the age of 13 I lost 60lbs. So when I started HS i was 150lbs and was still made fun of but not as much. Also I had to deal with this new found attention i was getting from boys because I was thinner and had large breast (14 and was a DD). It got to the point that I got punched in the head because I 'thought I was cute." By prom I was 189lbs. Now I'm 239 and I'm on the journey to getting the surgery but I'm SCARED OUTA MY SHORTS!!!!!! I don't know what to expect from ppl. I'm afraid that people are going to try and harm me because they might become eaulous. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be cocky or anything but according to what ppl in my life have told me I have the type of personality that people hate me for. And if you add that to me possibly being 130lbs come Sept........I dont know how people are going to act towards me. Jealousy? Hatred? Acceptance........Idk

If you can offer me some words of experience or anything please do Thank You

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl I have always heard you can't please them all, so at least be happy yourself and who you are. Don't let that stuff scare you people who hate other ppl for no reason or that are jealous will be that way no matter what.

I think you will be happy to be rid of some of that extra weight and feel good about yourself, so do what makes you happy and don't worry about that other stuff. That seems like it could be over whelming, just be a nice and decent person to others and if they don't accept you move on.

Good luck! Laura

I dont know if im the only one that feels this way and I would like somebody to talk to plz. Here it goes........I'm 21 about to be 22 and I've been fat a majority of my life. Since I was 8 I've been picked on, taunted and all that jazz. At the age of 13 I lost 60lbs. So when I started HS i was 150lbs and was still made fun of but not as much. Also I had to deal with this new found attention i was getting from boys because I was thinner and had large breast (14 and was a DD). It got to the point that I got punched in the head because I 'thought I was cute." By prom I was 189lbs. Now I'm 239 and I'm on the journey to getting the surgery but I'm SCARED OUTA MY SHORTS!!!!!! I don't know what to expect from ppl. I'm afraid that people are going to try and harm me because they might become eaulous. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be cocky or anything but according to what ppl in my life have told me I have the type of personality that people hate me for. And if you add that to me possibly being 130lbs come Sept........I dont know how people are going to act towards me. Jealousy? Hatred? Acceptance........Idk

If you can offer me some words of experience or anything please do Thank You

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can relate to the fear of being smaller, my reasons are slightly different from yours. I have identified myself with my weight for as long as i have been heavy. It has become part of why i chose to go where i go, and i have also allowed it to be the crutch for why i dont live my life to the fullest. I am afraid of what might happen if i get rid of this fat and have to face the reality of life. dont get me wrong i'm not hiding from anything but after the fat is gone there are no more excuses. But i dont live by fear...so im ready for the joy, challenges, and full life that i will be able to live.

I dont know if im the only one that feels this way and I would like somebody to talk to plz. Here it goes........I'm 21 about to be 22 and I've been fat a majority of my life. Since I was 8 I've been picked on, taunted and all that jazz. At the age of 13 I lost 60lbs. So when I started HS i was 150lbs and was still made fun of but not as much. Also I had to deal with this new found attention i was getting from boys because I was thinner and had large breast (14 and was a DD). It got to the point that I got punched in the head because I 'thought I was cute." By prom I was 189lbs. Now I'm 239 and I'm on the journey to getting the surgery but I'm SCARED OUTA MY SHORTS!!!!!! I don't know what to expect from ppl. I'm afraid that people are going to try and harm me because they might become eaulous. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be cocky or anything but according to what ppl in my life have told me I have the type of personality that people hate me for. And if you add that to me possibly being 130lbs come Sept........I dont know how people are going to act towards me. Jealousy? Hatred? Acceptance........Idk

If you can offer me some words of experience or anything please do Thank You

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm afraid to be skinny too. Being fat will no longer be my excuse for anything. I have never been skinny in my whole life. I'm afraid I might not even like what I look like when I'm thin. You are not in this alone.

The one thing I know for sure is my happiness when I become thin will outweigh my fear to get thin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think your fear is entirely valid. I would suggest working with a therapist though until you get to a point where you are okay with how you look regardless of how others feel/react.

I had sabotaged my weightloss in the past due to being uncomfortable with the attention the weightloss brought. Working with a therapist really helped me make peace with this and has helped me tremendously as I've dropped 100 pounds.

Best of luck to you.

Amanda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I strongly second Amanda's advice. I became obese when i was 5 and when i was 21 years old I got down to a slim size and I was very athletic and in shape. I attracted alot of attention I wasn't used to. I loved it, but also hated it. I really didn't deal with it very well and of course regained the weight. If you get the sleeve surgery and you get stressed by this issue, you run the real risk of sabatoging yourself. I cannot emphasize enough just how hard that was.

You said that you have been told that you have the kind of personality that people hate you for. What do you mean by that? It concerns me that you have experienced the world as kind of against you... you likely have very valid reasons for those feelings, but it will be very hard to go through life with that view and keep a healthy relationship with food.

I generally don't feel regrets about life choices, but I seriously seriously seriously regret that i couldn't keep that weight off when I was your age. I would be so much healthier and have such a better quality of life. That was back before i had stretch marks, before i had the big extra skin on the belly - all that. It is really worth investing in yourself right now, at this time in your life.

I wish you the best of luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@cowgirl......what i mean is that i have a bright, bubbly attitude and i always see the light at the end of the tunnel NO MATTER WHAT. I get it from my nana lol. Im a strong believer in the fact that it takes tll much energy to be angry at any person or anything. All my life Ive let ppl's opinion about me effect me so i guess that is where my worry stems from

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am in a very similar boat! I am 20 going on 21 and have been overweight ever since I was 8ish. I'm not necessarily scared of being harmed or by what people think, however I am a very quiet person. I'm not shy at all, but I prefer small groups to large ones and I don't mind being left alone. I wonder how I'll act if I get more attention as I lose the weight.

As for personal safety, why don't you plan on taking some self-protection courses once you feel you are able? I plan on it myself. I have to admit that being a big girl has given me a bit of the "they won't attack me, cause who attacks a fat chick" mentality... I have to work really hard to squash that especially since I have lived in many cities and often would go out (like walking, not partying out) alone, which is dangerous no matter what size you are. But I do think I'll have to be more careful once I'm smaller than I do now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought I would mention that real life is nothing like high school. I was bullied terribly in jr high and high school - not because I was fat, there are lots of reasons people are bullied. The day I left high school was the last day anyone bullied me. Period. In the real world, you just don't run into that problem very much.

Take some self defense classes. Or maybe think about relocating if you really live in a place where people can't treat you with respect.

I think everything will be OK. You may be a bit awkward getting used to your new body and people's reaction to it - that's OK.

good luck--

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

don't stress about how others will or have treated you I can completely relate to you im 22 soon to be 23 dec 26 yaaaaye lol but I've never been bullied in my past on restricted from certain opportunities in life so as of oct 17 I've been sleeved im taking that date as a new bday forget my past failures or the friends who were my friends temporarily look forward to how much healthier you'll be im so scared of being small ihave no idea what type of face I'll be having but it adds to excitedness lol people will forever always have a opinion or pick on someone to uplift themselves just focus on your goals all other things will not matter goodluck<3

I dont know if im the only one that feels this way and I would like somebody to talk to plz. Here it goes........I'm 21 about to be 22 and I've been fat a majority of my life. Since I was 8 I've been picked on, taunted and all that jazz. At the age of 13 I lost 60lbs. So when I started HS i was 150lbs and was still made fun of but not as much. Also I had to deal with this new found attention i was getting from boys because I was thinner and had large breast (14 and was a DD). It got to the point that I got punched in the head because I 'thought I was cute." By prom I was 189lbs. Now I'm 239 and I'm on the journey to getting the surgery but I'm SCARED OUTA MY SHORTS!!!!!! I don't know what to expect from ppl. I'm afraid that people are going to try and harm me because they might become eaulous. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be cocky or anything but according to what ppl in my life have told me I have the type of personality that people hate me for. And if you add that to me possibly being 130lbs come Sept........I dont know how people are going to act towards me. Jealousy? Hatred? Acceptance........Idk

If you can offer me some words of experience or anything please do Thank You

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×