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My thanksgiving day rant



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So this past weekend was thanksgiving in Canada. I sat between my niece and my sister in law, both who've been naturally thin all their lives. The niece, who is so thin, she almost looks anorexic (she's not) had 2 heaping platefuls AND two desserts! The sister in law, who has never gained a lb in her life, had 1 heaping plateful, and one dessert( and multiple cigarettes I might add). Me on the other hand, had a slice of turkey, a spoonful of carrots and raw veggies. An hour later I had half a slice of pumpkin pie. THEN, to top it off, there was a conversation down the table a ways about a lady they know who " had a sleeve put in ". ( no one knows I had surgery) and isn't it a shame that some people have to go to such lengths! I have never eaten 2 platefuls and two Desserts in my life! Lordy, Lordy life is not fair. Thanks for reading my rant, I feel better now.

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I hear you! I am one of 5 kids in my family. My siblings are all bean poles, I ate exactly how they ate! To this day my sisters both weigh 120ish, and eat whatever they want. Last time I weigh 120lbs was in 2nd grade!

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I understand.

10 years ago I used to work with a woman who was probably a size 4. She ate like no body's business. I can remember a week where she had baked a german chocolate cake and no one else in the family wanted it. So each day she came into my office (of course I was dieting) and sat down with a piece of this cake that was about 4 x 4 inches and ate it. That was between Breakfast and lunch and very typical. And she didn't work out. Now I know she is an exception to the general rule. But what irritated me was that *SHE* didn't get that. She was one of the first people to roll their eyes at fatties.

The only excuse I could make was that people like her do not understand they are exceptions. If you could eat like her and were a size 4, wouldn't you assume that people who are a size 26W are eating all day long, 24/7? Of course, she knew how and what I ate. She knew because we were often together on business trips for long windows of time. (And man could she put a dent in a buffet!) But I don't think she was able to really see what she was seeing. Because then she would have had to have admitted that what she had was a gift.

In this case, I can honestly say this woman -- if you believe calories in and calories out -- should have been bigger than I was. And she was a hothead, so she had more of a type A personality so maybe that's got something to do with how much your system burns. But I know she is now in her 50's and still thin. So whatever it is she's got, she's hanging on to it.

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I could easily have two plates and two Desserts at Thanksgiving. Thank goodness for my sleeve! Sometimes I literally felt like a bottomless pit. Even when I was uncomfortably full I felt like I could eat that last bite or two left on the plate. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me so thankful for this tool. I guess that's what I'll be thankful for this year!

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I feel for you. I was still on mushies at thanksgiving this year and my family decided since I couldn't enjoy any part of the dinner, that they wouldn't through a thanksgiving dinner.

Christmas is where I am going to have a similar situation to you. We get our extended family together then and I have two cousins and an aunt that can pack it back and I will have next to nothing, honestly though that thought doesnt bother me. I am happy to eat so little, but it is so frustrating when people can eat alot of anything they want and dont gain any weight. My husband is like that, so its a daily thing for me.

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Think Karma... they eating like hogs for a reason and it's not all hunger. Keep your head up!

Excellent point

And to the OP... you're doing great. It doesn't matter what anyone else does or thinks. Let them eat like starving dogs and eventually deal with the ramifications later. Just do what you gotta do and know inside you're doing the best thing for you. By the way, I don't think people noticed my weight loss until I hit about 50 pounds down.

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I also have the bean pole friend & a sister in law that eats and eats, don't exercise and never gain but they don't make a dent on a buffet for ever meal, I do! When they are stressed or sad, they forget to eat and skip meals. I never forget to eat. We are not with them for every single meal or bedtime snack.

I also have the brother that was a bean pole and ate a ton until his early 30's and is now obese with severe sleep apnea & a fatty liver in late 40's. I don't know anyone that can eat and eat like I do and not gain weight. I think that is something we tell ourselves. That is what I have experienced in my world, so it is obviously based on my experiences.

Having said all this, I do think we are not all "built" the same way. I don't think it is as simple as calories in, calories out & will power. Something will be discovered someday that others won't have to have to have their stomachs cut in order to eat normal portions.

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I have 3 nieces who are triplets, not identical. The smallest of the three has always eaten twice as much as the other two. They are teens now, and still she eats a lot more and is really tiny. So, no, it definitely is not just calories in vs calories burned.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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