....that is the question. Should I :speechles ?

I'm being banded August 16 (yay!). I'm torn over whether or not to tell anyone.

We're a very social couple and eat out with friends....they're certainly going to notice that we haven't invited them to dinner, or if we do, that I'm only drinking mine (and not the usual 18 gallons of wine, lol). They'll certainly notice that I haven't accepted any invitations, or if I do....that I bring pureed food. I have no problem abstaining from entertaining and being entertained for two months or so, until I can eat normal healthy food again but I don't want to offend anyone or keep putting them off.

Certainly people will know that I'm losing. Am I to just tell them that I am eating smaller portions (ha ha)? I hate to lie but I just don't want to spend hours talking about it, you know?

Tell me your experiences. Don't ask don't tell or tell all?

I would just smile, and say "Thank you for your concern, but I'm doing very well." And just keep smiling. Don't argue, don't open a door for further discussion. If they are really pushy, you can say something about having the band is a learning curve, and you are always learning more about what it means.

No, I didn't argue. But I was so taken aback by the comment that I'm sure I sounded defensive when I told her I was allowed to have non-boiled chicken.

I haven't had it yet, but I have told EVERYONE I know . . . I am yelling it off the rooftops! My first appointment got moved up from this Thursday to this Wednesday and it sent me back to the rooftop. Everyone has been super supportive, a couple of people seemed concerned with the surgery and complications, but that is because to them all WLS is Gastric Bypass.

My strategy is . . . if I tell everyone, I will be more accountable then if I kept it as my little secret. I want to succeed at this more than anything. I hope I don't regret my decission.

You all are just great. I can't tell you how this has been weighing (why does that word keep coming up?) on my mind. That, in and of itself, should tell me something.

At any rate, if I were younger, if I hadn't tried to lose weight and failed publicly so many times, I think I'd tell the world. But all your experiences are vastly different and my inclination at this moment is not to tell unless someone comes up to me, looks me in the eye and says...."ok....spill the Beans, kiddo".

For the six weeks I'm on liquid, I'll let people think I'm on a "doctor directed liquid diet". Clearly I'm overweight (nice way of putting it, don't you think?), so that will be fine for them. As time progresses and I'm back to regular foods, I'm sure people won't even notice that I'm not eating everything on the table, as usual. People are amazing that way. You think they notice everything and actually, they see very little of what you're doing. It was only the six to eight weeks of liquid and mush that I was worrying about.

We have MANY visitors coming to visit my entire pre-op time. This means nights out, dinners at home, blah blah blah (I told you we were social)...so this means I have to fess up to being on a liquid diet, for sure. I can do this.

Thank you thank you thank you and keep the opinions coming. I love to hear your telling experiences.

At any rate, if I were younger, if I hadn't tried to lose weight and failed publicly so many times, I think I'd tell the world. But all your experiences are vastly different and my inclination at this moment is not to tell unless someone comes up to me, looks me in the eye and says...."ok....spill the Beans, kiddo".

I think you need to do exactly what feels right for you. We are all so different.

I know what you mean about the trying and failing so many times. It's a little hard to hide when the latest diet/lifestyle plan fails. It's just out there for everyone to see. OTHO, I'm not getting any comments like "are you sure you are ready for such a step". My family and friends know that I've tried pretty much everything and have really struggled.

I have been telling just about everyone, and in the discussions that come up, I use a line someone on this board used. "The surgery is not a cure, but it will help me to eat like a thin person normally does."

I also tell people that it doesn't have the same food restrictions as gastric bypass, and that it isn't a cure-all. That I am hoping it will help me eat less, because my problem isn't eating "good food" but eating SO much. You know, you can still get fat eating healthy, trust me. I have done it.

I think that in my conversations, I have been saying so much about how it does nothing but make your stomach smaller so that you eat a smaller portion. That way the food police can't say crap, because I can eat what I want, just less of it. We all know there is restrictions to what and how to eat, but I don't get into all of that with them. I just say it is a tool to help me eat less.

Hi everyone....I had to come back to this thread and re-read it. I can't tell you how grateful I am for all your comments. It has really helped me with my decision about who to tell, what to tell, when to tell, how much to tell...well, you get the picture.

Thanks and thanks again,

I just saw this thread, so posting a little late. You don't have to make your decision according to any deadline, and I do want to tell you what a positive experience it has been for me to be open about everything with everyone. I know I have probably helped at least a couple of people decide to investigate the surgery for themselves, and have helped to inform many others about the differences between this surgery and gastric bypass. I have had nothing but support. That said, I do know that all situations and people are different, and I do not have many "toxic" people around me, so that could make a difference.

Good luck, whatever you decide...it's YOUR decision. And you can start off one way, and change your mind later if you want.