In October 2007 I was sleeved in Perth Western Australia by a surgeon named Jon Armstrong (aka Gorgeous Jon). I had a textbook recovery and without really trying or exercising I lost 50kg (over 100 lbs) in the first six months. I went down from 380 lbs to 260lbs and was feeling great.

Then I separated from my husband, and ended up having a nervous breakdown and leaving my job. I was diagnosed with major depression, Binge ating Disorder and anxiety. During this time I turned to my old friend food for comfort and started eating junk food and binge eating. I discovered I could eat a lot more than I had before and fairly soon was back to regaining weight. Bad food choices, snacking and overeating led me to stretch my sleeve and now I've regained half of the weight I had lost.

Most surgeons consider less than 50% excess weight lost as a VSG "failure". My surgeon has suggested I think about having a gastric bypass as I am still morbidly obese. He's refused a revision or a lapband on the sleeve. I am trying the pre-op liquid diet to kick start my weight loss and will then go on to counting calories and exercising to try and shift some of the weight as I think the bypass is a last resort. More surgery?! I don't know. It's already cost me $20,000 to get this far and I will be out of pocket another $8,000 if I have the bypass.

My surgeon has done over 500 procedures and only has three "failures". He suggested my stomach may be overly efficient and empties very quickly, enabling me to eat almost as much now as I did before surgery. Examples: 250g steak, fries and salad or six slices of pizza. I am seeing a therapist to help with my emotional eating and binge eating issues. i really wish I had seen a counsellor before and after my surgery to address these problems early on. I don't regret having the VSG, because I am still lighter now than before the surgery. But I wish things had turned out differently...

I now weigh 137kg (about 300 lbs) and need to get down to 80kg to be almost healthy weight range. I'm desperately hoping my stomach will shrink back a little now I'm doing a 12 week liquid and vegetables diet.

I too would be curious what size bougie they used? I couldnt eat 6 slices of pizza before my surgery.

Hi everyone

Thank you all SO MUCH for your feedback and support. I'm really feeling so much better since I "came clean" and posted my story on this board. It's difficult, I didn't want to put anyone off or make any newbies feel nervous, but I thought it was important to share both sides of the sleeve story.

In answer to your questions -

Yes, I do feel hungry like I did before the sleeve. I'm not sure if my body is still producing grehlin (I read that it is produced in the intestines as well as the stomach so it's not all removed after the surgery) or whether it's just "head hunger".

No, I don't regret having the surgery at all. I just wish I had been more aware of my binge eating issues and had got counselling before things got out of control. My surgeon didn't get me to have any counselling at all, not even a consult with a psychologist, even though he knew I was on anti depressants.

My surgeon hasn't mentioned the DS at all. I don't know whether he means the DS or the RNY when he says "gastric bypass". I think the system is slightly different here in Australia. For instance, I know there are a couple of restrictive procedures done in the US via endoscopy which can reduce the sleeve size but my surgeon refused to even discuss them.

My bougie was a 32, so there shouldn't have been any extra "room" in my sleeve for all the junk I forced in there. I definitely missed soda, and quickly after my surgery I started drinking it with meals which was (and still is) a major concern. I am trying to break that habit now.

As for pizza...well before my surgery I could (and regularly DID) eat one and a half whole pizzas. So I should be (and am!!) happy I am still restricted.

Any more questions, please ask away. I really appreciate having this forum as a safe place to vent and share :D

Thanks so much for posting such an honest story...to be truthful, this is one of the things I fear the most happening! I know that I have real issues with the emotional aspects of binge eating, which is why I got to the size that I did. And even though I've gone through phases in life where it's under control, I worry that I won't ever be able to beat the "dark side" completely. I was self-pay and didn't have any pre-surgery requirements, but I started seeing a therapist on my own 6 months before surgery just because I knew I needed to. Regardless, I still often feel like the issues are not or can't be "resolved." It's truly a lifelong battle that you have to take one day at a time. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't beat yourself up. Even if you had seen someone beforehand, it would still be really, really hard... You've clearly had some rough circumstances to deal with and are doing the right thing by dusting yourself off and looking ahead to what your options are now. The same thing could have happened to any of us. Luckily, there is great support on this board for whenever you need to vent or bounce ideas around. Happy to have you here!

Yeah, the emotional/psychological stuff is really important. I really don't like all of the addiction/recovery language, but the fact is that many of us ate to soothe our emotions rather than to fuel our bodies.

Ultimately, you have to find out what's going on in your mind that's leading you to self-destruct like this, and figure out how to fix it. Makes it sound simple, and it's NOT, but... it's what you have to do if you want to be healthy. For me, I've long had problems with depression and anxiety, and I often soothed both through food. I've been learning other, healthier ways of coping with depression (and also anxiety, since the two go hand in hand), and the good news is that most of those coping mechanisms are also good for my general health -- exercise, healthy sleep schedule, avoid excess caffeine and alcohol and carbs, etc. I get the double benefit of a healthier, more balanced, happy mind, as well as a happy sleeve that works with me to keep my weight down!

Good luck, and congratulations on your progress so far!

Yes, I do feel hungry like I did before the sleeve. I'm not sure if my body is still producing grehlin (I read that it is produced in the intestines as well as the stomach so it's not all removed after the surgery) or whether it's just "head hunger".

Hi. First, let me thank you for your honest post. I cannot tell you how much hearing of your battle may help me. At nearly 10 months post-op, I find that I go in stages with my eating. I will do very well for a couple weeks and then consistently make bad choices for a couple weeks. I'm still losing weight, but barely. Now that I know it is possible to gain a lot of weight back after VSG, I will stay better commited to the fight.

Next, I have wondered from day one if my body still produces ghrelin. Unlike most others, I stayed hungry much of the time for the first 2-3 months post-op. After researching on this board I decided to try an acid reducer. Much to my amazement, I was never as "hungry" when I took the medicine on a regular basis. Even now this far out I notice a difference in my hunger when I forget to take the acid reducer for several days. Just something to think about. Maybe in conjunction with your liquid/high protein/low carb diet you should try even an over the counter variety to see if it helps. ????

Best wishes on the next stage of your journey. You will make it!

Lisa