Don't compare ourselves to other people losing weight

[plumptuous 0]

Hi 'Kare,

Wonderful thoughts! Except - you haven't seen Oprah's trainer - woohoo!!! (hehe)

That was neat info about the depression news, thank you. Learn something every day!

My sweet daughter (30, young, single, intelligent, single... LOL) comes down for visits now & then, and says to me: "Moooom, just get out and walk! - You'll feel better!" (exasperated sound...)

I think to myself, while I'm smiling at her perfect teeth and still-perky body: 'if you say 'Mom, just...!' one more time, I'm gonna knock your head off your shoulders - that'll make me feel better!' HA

But I smile and say "OK, honey, I'll try.", that usually gets her off my back (I mean, makes her feel better... haha). Poor thing, she really does worry about her Mom. - I wasn't always as large as one of Wyland's famous whale murals...

It is so hard for people who don't have depression to really get their mind around what it's truly like, and how debillitating it can be. If I can't cope with the world, I cant cope. No amount of whip-snapping is going to help.

I thought up a pretty good description that I share with people when the subject arises... you're all free to use it, LOL.

'Depression isn't the boo-hoos that people (usually male spouses) think it is. It's really more like trying your darndest to waaaallllk thrrroooough coooolllllllld molaaaaaasssses.'

This is why, sometimes, when people first start feeling some sort of energy, they climb flights of stairs and jump off buildings. They would have done it before (Prozac), but they didn't have the ambition or the energy. :straight

Kimmie is right, I know she is. And some days I can and do get outdoors. I have what I call my 'lizard rock' out front, that I am supposed to sun on every day to get my Vit D and happy-mood going...

My getting outside to get the mail across the road is a triumph.

If Dave comes home from his long night at work, and the dishes are done, and the dryer is running, it's champagne cork-popping time! :scared:

I really feel that once I get the help of a restriction device that helps me not crave a constant cargo of food all the time, I'll be able to start seeing some weight come off, stay off, be able to walk without my back aching from my stomach hanging out in front (I am currently sway-backed) and that will start another 'circle' ... one that will be good for me, for a change. This is what I am really looking forward to.

Oh! And sewing for myself! I have always sewed for others... never for myself. I'm looking forward to making myself some fun, strappy sun dresses and nice things to wear. Shove all my baggy, no-Iron tee shirts to the back of my closet, wear things with BUTTONS!... and BELTS! again! teehee:clap2:

Thank you for your great encouragement, 'Kare.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Nanette

<><

Well, I am more than happy to give a pat on the back to anyone who works out for 3 hours a day. If I did that I'd sure as heck feel like boasting about it!

We all do what we can when we can. Admittidly it is pretty hard for most of us to work out that much--but almost all of us could probably workout more than we do. (Ever watch TV for 3 hours in a day? ...yeah, me too...)

I'm really happy to see somone working out and losing faster--that means it is POSSIBLE for me. TIme and time again I have seen how much more successfully people lose weight when they exercise. This is NOT just a matter of burning calories. It is also a matter of fighting depression, which does make most of us eat.

Many, MANY studies have shown that a minimum of 30 minutes of aerobic exercise 5 days per week has a tremendous effect on depression levels. It usually takes about 2 weeks for people to notice a big difference in mood--versus 3 weeks with most antidepressents.

There are many skinny people who don't exercise--but hardly ANY former fat people who became skinny people who don't. Oprah's average is an hour of aerobics 6 days a week along with 3 hours of weight training per week. That's MAINTENANCE.

So while you should not feel guilty by comparison, you might want to look to those heavy lifters for INSPIRATION. Instead of thinking, "Look how much they're doing, I can't do that much..." maybe think, "I can't wait until I've lost enough and have built up to where I can work out like that."

Believe me, it is incredibly EMPOWERING.

[Kat817 19]

Nannette I can so understand the knee issues. I have had both of mine operated on. The right one 3 years ago I had a lateral release of the patella...my knee cap was pulling due to pressure on it, so they cut the muscle and let some of the tension out. Then last November I had my left knee cleaned up, they repaired several meniscal (sp?) tears. Both have healed great, and getting even the 30 pounds off has helped wonders! I also have a herniation of L-5 & L-6 at a S-1 station, so have days that the sciatic pain ( I call it my psychotic nerve, not my sciatic nerve!) is too bad to do much, but I think it too is improving. But yes walking is about all I am doing at this point. Some days I go further than others, and some days I walk more shopping!! I do like they said, park further away. I take my grandkids out in their strollers, and pull them in a wagon in the yard (not easy!!!). I bought extra yard plants this year, and make myself get out and Water everyday. I make small "games" with myself. When I wash laundry, I will fold it here on the couch, and make 4-5 trips around putting it away rather than loading my arms and doing it all at once. I haven't got out a stair stepper...yet! But I do try to make myself get up and put away 3 things during each commercial. That way things get done, and I move some.

I don't have depression issues, but at this time i have some pretty heavy stress. My husband is awaiting open heart surgery. We had it scheduled, but he developed a blood clot, so it is on hold until Aug. 2. The waiting, and the worry....can be overwhelming, and I used to always eat then! I have also had adult kids moving in and out! My daughter and granddaughter were with us for a few months, following her divorce, as she and DH revamped a home she bought. Now son, DIL, and grandson are here, waiting a delay in the closing of their new home. I love them, but chaos reigns!!!

Anytime you need a kick in the pants to get up and get moving, let me know...and keep your ears open I may be hollering at you to do the same!!

for me!!

And btw, I am in the 4 corners area of New Mexico....only wish for CA, and pools, and hot tubs....!!! I am soooo jealous!!! No, I love where we live, one hour north and we are in massive mountains, one hour to the south and we are in the desert....we have a huge lake nearby....it is no ocean tho!!! Oh well, it is home!

Kat

[Jachut 487]

Actually I do find that a little offensive. I was with you at first but your last sentence or two got up my nose. Boasting? How about being proud of her accomplishments?

If, as you say, we are all different how does that mean that those who do a lot of exercise should not be allowed to talk about it without being accused of boasting whilst those that dont should be allowed to say what they like becuase they are average?

Everybody here, no matter how fast or slow they are losing, is proud of their achievements and talk about them is not boasting. The band works better for those who do exercise, and discussing the types of exercise we do, how much, how often and how intense is all part of learning how to achieve the best weight loss - if you want to ignore that convenient fact, go ahead, but it is important information to a lot of people here.

[GeezerSue 7]

A lot of it is the re-training of my brain and mind-set... trying to not have a "food-centered life" any more, as Dr. Callery put it. ...

I live in Southern California and have been on several boards for about four years and was unfamiliar with Callery's name. So I looked him up on OH. Do you know how many lap bands he has actually done? That is a VERY important to your future success with the band. It's all about follow-up and and RnY surgeons tend to become a little frustrated with band patients who need far more ongoing support than bypass patients. It's a whole different ball game than the bypass and a surgeon who is used to bypass patients may find a band patient to be far too time-consuming.

Also, I asked because the comment about not leading a food-centered-life kind of concerns me. It isn't about the food. Not really. It's about self-soothing and self-medicating and taking care of ourselves in the best way we could at the time...which was food. It's no longer a good way to get through the day, but it did serve a purpose. People often THINK it's about the food and stop with compulsive eating...and take up compulsive gambling or excessive drinking or compulsive shopping or way-too-may-sex-partners...or they even become trainers and start exercising in a compulsive way.

Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying anything negative about his skills...I have no idea what they may be. But surgeons in general tend to have a "let's fix it and get out of here" kind of approach as opposed to...say...psychologists, who want to talk about everything. And the band is all about follow-up and our eating problems aren't really about food. They're more about dealing with life.

Did your surgeon, or dietician(sp?) explain to you how one stops losing weight, after they've reached their goal?

That's one concern I have... :omg: where are the brakes in this scenario?

...

I've corresponded with hundreds and hundreds--maybe more--of banded people over the years and I don't think I've heard of more than one or two who had a "losing too much" problem. And THEY simply substituted one eating disorder (compulsive eating) for another (bulemia.)

[juliegeraci 7]

Jacqui, its

[juliegeraci 7]

Jacqui, its only my opioning. Boasting can be good and I do look up to people that can accomplish this. For me however, I have found because I am new and my weight isn't coming off as quickly it is depressing. I am an athlete at heart and when I was thin I use to run and do all the things the other threads talk about. But being new we have to be practicle and for me exercise 2x a day isn't. Sorry if I offended you, but for me...this is how I feel.

[Carlene 12]

Also I just read on thinnertimes about someone's dad's co-worker having to have his band deflated every time he flies, then re-inflated and he has to go back on a liquid diet afterward. I can't figure out why... if he doesn't eat in flight (cabin under pressure) why it would matter?quote]

I fly all the time - 10 trips in the last two months (my DH is retired from AA and it's one of the perks). I eat on the plane and have never had a problem, nor do I have my band unfilled.

BTW....when you fly, steal all the barf bags you can get your hands on. They are great to keep in your car.

[cinward2001 0]

Julie, I hear what you're saying. It *is* hard not to compare, but you have to try just to compare yourself to...yourself. Are you doing more this week than last? Are you eating better today than you did yesterday? Can you drink more Water? Or are you doing as well as you'd like to do and can "coast" for a while?

Now, I also understand the exercising 3x/day thing. The problem I have with those types of thread is the "If I can do it, anyone can!" attitude. And that just isn't true. Not everyone can work out for several hours/day, whether due to time constraints or health issues, or simply what that person needs to be healthier. Excesses can be found in all forms and fashions...and even though exercising to excess can help the weight come off faster, it's not necessarily healthier in the long run.

I have an aunt who, a couple of years ago, decided she would lose weight no matter what. She started working out on her stationary bike...4-5 hrs/day. Yes, she lost weight, but quickly found out that she didn't have a "life" anymore...and as soon as she cut back on the exercise, the weight came back. :scared:

So you HAVE to find YOUR balance. And if that means nothing more than taking an afternoon walk each day, but you ENJOY it and can do it for the rest of your life, then it's good. And ultimately, it's not a race...it's a journey. I'd rather lose 1-2lbs/week while still enjoying my time with my family, enjoying an occasional celebratory piece of cake, etc because in the end, we're going to get to the same place...our goal weight.

Cindy

[Jachut 487]

Well I guess that's what I mean too - YOUR balance is what is important, so dont take the stories other people tell as boasting. That's their lives, you do this the way YOU want to.

I guess its just the word "boasting" has negative connotations, it sounds a bit mean spirited. But I get what you're saying.

[*susan* 1,709]

I think the hardest part is actually starting an exercise program. I certainly didn't get to the weight I am at now by going to the gym every day. I am a true couch potatoe. I am starting to get the hang of my band finally, and next week, dh and I are joining a gym. I am a bit intimidated by the idea of it, but I know I need to do it. I am inspired by those who are going to the gym and exercising regularly. Do I want to do it to the extent of which they are doing it (i.e., 3 hours a day), heck no! I don't think I could physically do that. But if it works for them, great, that is fabulous. If I can get myself to go for one hour a day, three days a week I am going to be on here tooting my horn, that is for sure!

[Telly 4]

Julie, you are absolutely right. No one should compare themselves to others.

What we do to lose the weight is what we do. If someone wishes to piggy back off of it and does it in the most healthy and health conscious way, then go for it.

If you are referring to me as far as the 3x per day exercise..then your facts are right. I was told by a few trainers that cramming all of the workouts in at one single time is ok and good but if you spread it out ..morning, noon and night then you are making your body burn continuously all day long. Yes I am losing weight and losing it very fast. But I am losing it on my own terms. I refuse to have a fill for the simple fact that I am really trying to train my brain to manually stop overeating. I have overeaten several times and I didn't stop. I am working on that.

Prior to all of the weight gain I was an athlete. I swam 5 - 10 miles per day, ran 1 - 2 hours per day and ate very well. I swam for my college, so what I am doing now is basically what I did then. So again, please don't compare yourselves to me. I am the exception to the rule (per Tricia's words).

I do not use a thread to boast my stenuous exercise.. I have a thread that allows you to see what I do and what several other very active members do. Tricia_k for instance. She does hundreds, literally hundreds of leg lifts per day. She runs, does weight training at home and has lost alot of weight and she's very toned. I personally cannot do 500 leg lifts, but I can bike 35 miles. I can't compare myself to her. Her leg endurance with weights compared to mine is unparalled.

DOC - swims miles upon miles per day.

Niche - puts in nice hours at the gym several days per week, alternating upper body and lower body

Jachut - Cardio queen ..she can put in 4 - 6 miles daily and there are several others I have not mentioned that do great things... but you get my point.

I do find it offensive that you indirectly accuse me or whomever else of boasting a 3x's per day or a 3 hour a day exercise regimine. The tone is sarcastic and offensive to me.

There is nothing wrong with working out 3 hours per day. Practical to everyone?? No, but then again, don't compare yourself to anyone else on here. And yes, I will stand by the fact that if I can do it, so can you attitude. It's all attitude and not fact stating. It's just gung-ho attitude that keeps me going.

[Leila 0]

Nanette I to suffer from severe depression, and so understand what you are saying in regards to getting out and moving around. Much of my weight gain came with the worst years of my depression. I spent weeks, sometimes months hospitalized, and when at home I was either in bed, or on the couch. I would get advice from well meaning friends and family to encourage me to become more active, and the statistics on how much exercise helps depression. It's frustrating to try to explain to someone that you simply can't. That depression affects not just your mood, but affects the way you think, affects you physically, affects everything. Everything becomes 'depressed', the literal meaning of the word, everything becomes opressed, supressed... depressed. My ability to get up off the couch to take a shower was like running a marathon. Prior to my depression I was doing my masters degree in counselling psychology, while working full time, and training in and teaching kickboxing working towards my black belt. I have never been a lazy or unmotivated person. Depression steals away your motivation, severe depression takes away everything. It leaves you empty, with nothing but pain. Not just emotional pain, but physical aches and pains too are common in depression. It also affects your ability to think and reason. Pre-depression I did the crossword puzzle in the paper everyday, it would take me about 10 minutes to do the whole thing. During the worst part of my depression my husband brought me a crossword book to the hospital - I couldn't do the easy puzzles. I couldn't figure out the 3 letter word for a female pig was 'sow' I couldn't think, some days I couldn't remember my address or telephone number. Depression is a bio-chemical state, altered brain chemistry that affects the mind and the body. No amount of good intentions, desire, or can-do attitude will magically move you towards being able to do things. Now finally with a cocktail of medication that works for me, I am stable and functioning. I am still on disability with my depression and unable to work. But I'm actively trying to live instead of trying to die. Getting banded 3 weeks ago gave me a lot of hope, it gave me a much needed tool, in a whole arsenal of tools I will need to try and move towards a healthier and happier me. I've felt better in these last three weeks than I have in years. Every day is a new day, and some days I can't get out and exercise, and some days I can, just a little, it's going to take time, years of almost total bed rest has ruined my cardio and my strength. I no longer get winded taking a shower now though, and I can hang on to the stairs in the pool and kick my legs for a solid 30 minutes! Just keep doing as much as you can do, and be gentle on yourself for it. You are the only one who understands how incredibly strong you are to be living with depression, be proud of each day, and each mini-accomplishment, and try not to beat yourself up over what you are unable to do.

XO

Leila

[Telly 4]

Well said Leila and congratulations on your recent banding. I wish you much success with your weight loss goals.

[Leila 0]

Thank you Telly! By the way, I always find your amazing progress and commitment to fitness very exciting to read about, and very inspiring. I get a lot of enjoyment out of your vibrancy and also out of reading the comments of those that you've inspired, your positive outlook is practically contagious. I come to these forums, and I read things that make me laugh, make me cry, make me smile, sometimes frustrate me, but consistently the energy around your posts is uplifting and bright.

XO

Leila

[warmmorningsun 1]

Hello, I don't want to take offense to anyone so that is not why I am writing this. I have read a ton of threads about people who are losing weight at a steady pace, some slower and some faster. For the faster folks I have noticed one in particular talks about the endless exercise she is doing.

Thank you in advance for understanding we are ALL different and I for one will never use a thread to boast 3 hours a day of exercise. I would rather use a thread to gain insight into how the band works and the trial and tribulations of all of us. Thank you for listening.

I wanted to point out two things:

1. You had it right when you said we shouldn't compare ourselves to others and that we are all different.

2. For someone who was insightful enough to figure that out, you sure were judgmental of the person who's posting about her workouts.

I think if you read the posts a little more in depth you may find that she is using this board as a sort of exercise journal not only to motivate herself, but to help motivate others. And, if you can understand that part, you'll realize she's not boasting. In addition, this board is not only for gaining insight on how the band works, trials, and tribulations. It's for support of one another. And it's not exclusive of exercise as a means of support. If you don't want to read about it, that's fine, we all get something out of this board, we all skip certain posts because it doesn't help us or appeal to us. All of us ARE different as you pointed out. But please don't belittle the person who is using this board for other means that you yourself don't agree or subscribe to. Thanks for allowing me my two cents.