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I need to keep my mouth shut!!!!!!

MissBliss

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MissBliss    29

MissBliss
Posted

I am pre op waiting for insurance approval. I have been jumping through hoops for months. I have only told my best friend and my husband and kids.

I am going to a party tonight were my husbands cousin is sure to be a guest. She is a gastric bypass patient (about 2 years post op) and has done really well and talks about it ALL THE TIME! How I should look into it and how much it will help me. How she can't understand why I wouldn't want to have this life saving surgery, look at how well she looks and how happy she is. She will go on and on and on about what she eats and drinks and her poops and her tummy tuck....it is exhausting.

And I need to keep my mouth shut!!! I refuse to become a topic of discussion for her. I would wager a guess that she is not familiar with VSG but I am sure she would have an opinion about it and how her way is better. And if I did say something and insurance ended up not approving me, that's all I would hear in the next year...how her insurance is better and if I had tried for a bypass I would have been approved....blah, blah, blah....

I don't even want to go to this party, but I love my neice to pieces and want to Celebrate her b'day with her!

So, I am just trying to dig deep for the strength I will need to defend myself from this woman.....I think I will spend alot of time avoiding her!

Please send helpful vibes!!!!!!!!

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wishes    125

wishes
Posted

Good luck, I can't even imagine how hard that will be, but you can do this.

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thinoneday    445

thinoneday
Posted

I am pre op waiting for insurance approval. I have been jumping through hoops for months. I have only told my best friend and my husband and kids.

I am going to a party tonight were my husbands cousin is sure to be a guest. She is a gastric bypass patient (about 2 years post op) and has done really well and talks about it ALL THE TIME! How I should look into it and how much it will help me. How she can't understand why I wouldn't want to have this life saving surgery, look at how well she looks and how happy she is. She will go on and on and on about what she eats and drinks and her poops and her tummy tuck....it is exhausting.

And I need to keep my mouth shut!!! I refuse to become a topic of discussion for her. I would wager a guess that she is not familiar with VSG but I am sure she would have an opinion about it and how her way is better. And if I did say something and insurance ended up not approving me, that's all I would hear in the next year...how her insurance is better and if I had tried for a bypass I would have been approved....blah, blah, blah....

I don't even want to go to this party, but I love my neice to pieces and want to Celebrate her b'day with her!

So, I am just trying to dig deep for the strength I will need to defend myself from this woman.....I think I will spend alot of time avoiding her!

Please send helpful vibes!!!!!!!!

EEEKKK what a ????? Be the strong one, dont say anything and just smile and nod. . . love on your niece and enjoy her special day with her. . .afterall it's your niece your there for, not that soapbox preacher. . . if she starts, you could always say, "how lovely, how great" and wander off somewhere else, if she follows again, "how lovely, how great" wander off, if she does it again, just tell her to back off. . . but whatever you do, don't tell her nothing about the surgery. . . YOU CAN DO IT. . . . good luck

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MissBliss    29

MissBliss
Posted

EEEKKK what a ????? Be the strong one, dont say anything and just smile and nod. . . love on your niece and enjoy her special day with her. . .afterall it's your niece your there for, not that soapbox preacher. . . if she starts, you could always say, "how lovely, how great" and wander off somewhere else, if she follows again, "how lovely, how great" wander off, if she does it again, just tell her to back off. . . but whatever you do, don't tell her nothing about the surgery. . . YOU CAN DO IT. . . . good luck

"how lovely, how great....how lovely, how great....how lovely, how great....." I am practicing right now! LOL!!!

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Darlis    1

Darlis
Posted

Strength does not come from winning.......Your struggles develop your strengths.....When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.......

So hang in there girl......

hs

I am pre op waiting for insurance approval. I have been jumping through hoops for months. I have only told my best friend and my husband and kids.

I am going to a party tonight were my husbands cousin is sure to be a guest. She is a gastric bypass patient (about 2 years post op) and has done really well and talks about it ALL THE TIME! How I should look into it and how much it will help me. How she can't understand why I wouldn't want to have this life saving surgery, look at how well she looks and how happy she is. She will go on and on and on about what she eats and drinks and her poops and her tummy tuck....it is exhausting.

And I need to keep my mouth shut!!! I refuse to become a topic of discussion for her. I would wager a guess that she is not familiar with VSG but I am sure she would have an opinion about it and how her way is better. And if I did say something and insurance ended up not approving me, that's all I would hear in the next year...how her insurance is better and if I had tried for a bypass I would have been approved....blah, blah, blah....

I don't even want to go to this party, but I love my neice to pieces and want to Celebrate her b'day with her!

So, I am just trying to dig deep for the strength I will need to defend myself from this woman.....I think I will spend alot of time avoiding her!

Please send helpful vibes!!!!!!!!

KristeyK reacted to this

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sunnyd    32

sunnyd
Posted

It's so annoying to be around people like that! Smiles and avoidance will be the key. Good luck to you at the party. :D

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KellyL    173

KellyL
Posted

Don't forget to also used the bored, eyes glazed over stare as you repeat how lovely, how great lol!!! I also do a lot of subject changing around people like that. Good luck!

:)

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myrori    55

myrori
Posted

Good for you! I noticed when I was on the high of the pounds dropping off or what work out I accomplished made one of my co workers a tad uncomfortable and I promptly shut up. I never want my success to make another feel less about themselves. Now sharring bodily functions,, that sounds like like obsession or something my elderly mom and Aunt would share :o

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KristeyK    3

KristeyK
Posted

Well she proved a LOT of us wrong...we joke in school that "you know you're a nurse when you're excited to talk about bowel movements." LOL!

Anyway, another thing to say to her is that you are VERY happy for her success, but the gastric bypass is something you choose not to do. (You're not lying there at ALL either, just not telling her you're wanting the sleeve. :D)

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ybnormal    21

ybnormal
Posted

I would end up being a sarcastic b!tch and saying something like **looks her up and down** "You've had gastric bypass? wow..I never would have guessed..." and let her take it how she wants to. I don't like people like that so I tend to say F-U with a sweet smile on my face and walk off and leave them pondering just what I meant by it.

honestly, good luck with this one. I certainly don't envy you! :(

Renee`

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MissBliss    29

MissBliss
Posted

So I survived the "attack"!!!! She started when someone handed her a wine cooler..."oh no, I can't have carbonation, you know, (in a whisper) because of the bypass"...sigh....I excused myself and went outside. A little while later she "hit me" again....."Oh those chips look so good, wish I could enjoy them like you do".....B*%ch!!! I smiled said, "yes they are tasty" got up and went inside....It was almost comical....I have to thank you all 'cause all I could think about was coming back here and letting you know how it went! Thanks for the support!!!!

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ybnormal    21

ybnormal
Posted

You did awesome! I have to ask, are you going to tell her you're having wls (which I'm sure she'll attribute to her continual 'subtle hints') or are you just going to show up to a gathering a lot thinner?

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MissBliss    29

MissBliss
Posted

I really don't plan on telling her, but I certainly won't keep it a secret, I am sure she will notice what I am or am not eating. And yes, she will take full credit for my decision! LOL!!! I will just grin and bear it!!!!

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LisaM    3

LisaM
Posted

I would just be blundt with her and tell her thanks but no thanks. I'd just say I appreciate your concern and I'm really happy for you, but I'm not interested and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about it anymore. Sometimes you just have to be brutally honest with people. If she keeps on talking, I'd say, look it's not all about you and walk away.

She sounds like a pain in the a**! :blink:

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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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