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I noticed this weekend while out to eat with my family that the waitstaff at a resturant can't seem to understand when you say no? No, I don't want something to drink, no I don't want more food, NO I don't want dessert!!! LOL The lady kept asking me, Are you sure? YES I am sure! I already gave you my answer why don't you believe me!?!?! LOL

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I sometimes quickly respond "I've had stomach surgery and can't eat or drink much, thanks anyway", it usually shuts them up and they leave me alone..

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I feel no need to share my surgical info. I order Water with lemon,,, ends the drink q? If they have Q? about why I am splitting a meal with my husband or who ever, none of their business! I have never said yes to dessert in my life ( standard waitress q?) so I don't have an issue with that one.

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I used the "I've had surgery" to explain at a recent brunch why I really needed to order a cup of Soup off the menu rather than pay $22 for a brunch buffet. My doctor gave me a card to keep in my wallet to explain that because of my recent surgery I should be allowed to order off the12 and under kid menu. I haven't used it yet, but I will if it means I will be a HEALTHY THIN woman!

Oh and I have thought about packing ziploc bags/containers in my car for my leftovers. I am tired of the waste of carryout boxes!!!!

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I know! It's like they think you're on some kind of bizarre diet and you are watching your figure and they are all like...come on, it won't hurt to eat this one thing! Uh, yes it actually will hurt if I eat that. Thanks anyway!!biggrin.gif

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It is completely annoying, isn't it? I mean, I come from a place where you can't say no to food at all. People feel offended, even at the restaurant. If I have leftovers they ask all the time if I didn't like it, what was wrong with it and other embarrassing things. Whatever, I guess I just have to live with it. I normally reply that it was delicious but I had a snack one hour earlier and I am still full. This way everyone is happy.

About the drinks: I normally pretend to share a drink with hubby if I am out with him. Or, I normally try to get the other people to order a big bottle of Water to share (we don't get free water at restaurants here), I put some in my glass and leave it there. The other people can have the rest and I don't look weird without a drink.

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I used the "I've had surgery" to explain at a recent brunch why I really needed to order a cup of Soup off the menu rather than pay $22 for a brunch buffet. My doctor gave me a card to keep in my wallet to explain that because of my recent surgery I should be allowed to order off the12 and under kid menu. I haven't used it yet, but I will if it means I will be a HEALTHY THIN woman!

Oh and I have thought about packing ziploc bags/containers in my car for my leftovers. I am tired of the waste of carryout boxes!!!!

OMG< I was just thinking about the waste of those Styrofoam containers too! There is more of those in my garbage than anything else! I received one recently that is both dishwasher and microwave safe from a take out place and I decided to just keep re using it!

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I only got this on a couple of occasions when I was still fat. I think it's weird for people/waitresses/servers to see an obese lady order just a cup of soup/chili, eat half of it and not finish it. I mean seriously, when does that happen? ? ?

Of course, my husband is the worse at offering bites of this or that even at 2 years out. He's stopped asking and just plops food on my plate. I swear he is a "feeder", and just doesn't get that I don't want half of his scallop, or 2 bites of lobster off his plate. Instead of giving me the opportunity to say "no", he just slides food across the table to my plate, and it sits there staring at us both.

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OMG< I was just thinking about the waste of those Styrofoam containers too! There is more of those in my garbage than anything else! I received one recently that is both dishwasher and microwave safe from a take out place and I decided to just keep re using it!

I just got one of those from Olive Garden! So neat!

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Great idea on packing my own 'take-home' container! I also hate to waste the styrofoam . . . that's something else to add to my shopping list! :)

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I just encountered this the other day when I was eating at On The Border. I ordered these little taco melts (the tiny chicken tacos) and the waiter was asking me if I wanted black Beans or refried Beans, I said no beans please and then he said "oh do you just want double rice then?" lol I told him no rice either, just the tacos please. He started to look freaked out so I told him he could have my rice and beans for lunch and maybe he could talk one of my friends out of part of her food so he could have a complete meal. I think I finally distracted him enough he let it go. It's kind of awful when you think about it - the food industry really pushes food on people. Really kind of sad. I had no willpower before and would have gladly eaten whatever was plopped down in front of me. I am so thankful for my sleeve!

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I'm used to the weird food pushing since I'm always asking for modified orders thanks to all of my food issues. Once I asked for a cheeseburger from a fast food place, only without the actual burger patty. After much discussion with the guy at the drive-thru (read: argument because he kept trying to give me the meat on the side), he still had to ask me to hold on to find out if would be possible to make the sandwich without meat. I was blown away.

Now that I can't eat much, I just tell people that I have to be careful about what I eat. They don't need to know why. I went to the first day of shiva last week after a friend's father passed away, and some old ladies kept asking me to take the rest of their dessert. Even though I kept saying no and explaining why I couldn't eat the cookies/blondies/other deliciousness, they pushed the plate over to me when they got up to leave. I just laughed.

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I've actually enjoyed this so far but I'm sure it will get annoying later. I ordered some chili at a restaurant and only ate 5 bites and was full. The waitress kept asking me if I didn't like it and she couldn't get it out of her mind. She said she couldn't see charging me for something I didn't eat so she took it off my ticket. She decided it must not have been good. So I got a free meal! The second time the waiter kept asking me what was wrong with it or if I wanted a box. I think it is the fact that I'm like 380 lbs and eating nothing. But for me that's an amazing feeling!!! I am so happy to finally be one of THOSE people that doesn't eat much!

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Just got back from vacation. I started asking for my Water in a to go cup. We had water bottles in the ice chest, but I wanted the ICE water. I would mix my crystal light individual packets in the water to drink when the 30-45 min wait time ended. I think my 15 and 16 yr old were ok with it. Husband could not go and has been busy with work. I could tell he thought I was lying when I said I was full. He was in disbelief. He looked like he had lost a best friend!

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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