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Birthday Cake



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My birthday is in a week and my mom wants to know if I want her to bake a cake, buy a cake, or get something at the restaurant we're going to. I don't know what to tell her. I'm already planning to eat a little badly (but nowhere near as bad as I would have if I wasn't following a pre-op meal plan) b/c it's my birthday and I was planning on maybe having a drink (I'm not a drinker, but I'd like to have the option, plus I won't be drinking after surgery), so idk about cake. Honestly I could take it or leave it. If I had to choose though, I'd choose a homemade cake (sounds like I answered my own question). I feel like everyone else would be expecting something.

On top of this no one in my family knows about my wanting to get the sleeve. My bf says that if I'm going to have a drink I shouldn't have cake. I don't necessarily agree with him (I like to keep my options open b/c change my mind so often), but I know he's probably right. I don't want to hurt my mom cause she wanted to get me a cake. Idk if it would even upset her. It's just she said she was thinking about buying a cake and I said idk if I wanted cake and she seemed dissappointed.

If there's cake I'll probably want to eat it. But unlike before where I'd want the whole cake, now I'd just want a piece.

Thoughts?

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Have cake, and a drink. It's not like you're going to gain 10 flipping pounds over a piece of cake and a drink. Maybe your mom could make cupcakes for you, and only bring you 2 (1 for you, 1 for the bf), maybe that would make everyone happy? ? ? Just my $0.02

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It is my birthday today, and I turned 40! Ok, it is a little different to you as I am 9mths post op... but I had cake today. It was YUMMY!

I don't feel guilty, I don't feel bad and to be brutally honest, I shall have another slice tomorrow... it was a small piece but tasted wonderful. I don't do this often and I can't remember then last time I ate dessert... Oh, it was Christmas day...lol

have a little cake, have a little drink and enjoy it. Life is about living! =]

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I would have the cake and a drink too if you want it. I also just wanted to point something out to you from experience. Before I had surgery, I was eating everything in sight because I thought I would NEVER be able to have my favorite foods again. I was wrong. With the sleeve, you will be able to eat treats again. It will just be in way smaller amounts. Now, my tastes have changed greatly and many foods I used to gorge on don't appeal to me anymore. I did have a small piece of cake last weekend and some champagne at a wedding. I enjoyed it and I didn't gain a pound (I actually lost weight). I would enjoy your birthday and know that you are doing something great for yourself! You will enjoy cake again post sleeve. I hope you have a Happy Birthday!

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You sound so much like me!! Undecisive and way too worried about what others want or too worried about disappointing others. I am pre-op too, and I've become picky about the food that I put into my mouth or the reasons that I do so. For instance, I don't eat anything anymore out of fear of hurting the persons feelings that prepared it unless it's like my very favorite food in the world. If I go to a get together and theres a lot of Desserts, I am not even tempted, unless theres like brownies. Those are my favorite. I might have a small one or break it in half just to get a taste.

Since you said you could take it or leave it, don't feel like you have to let her bring one if you don't really want one there. Or let her bring one thats not your fave so others can enjoy it, but you won't be as tempted by. However if you want one, you are pre-op, so get your favorite, enjoy it, and don't think another thing about it. Just don't let your mom, bf, etc be the deciding factor. It's going to happen to us post-op too.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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