My birthday is in a week and my mom wants to know if I want her to bake a cake, buy a cake, or get something at the restaurant we're going to. I don't know what to tell her. I'm already planning to eat a little badly (but nowhere near as bad as I would have if I wasn't following a pre-op meal plan) b/c it's my birthday and I was planning on maybe having a drink (I'm not a drinker, but I'd like to have the option, plus I won't be drinking after surgery), so idk about cake. Honestly I could take it or leave it. If I had to choose though, I'd choose a homemade cake (sounds like I answered my own question). I feel like everyone else would be expecting something.

On top of this no one in my family knows about my wanting to get the sleeve. My bf says that if I'm going to have a drink I shouldn't have cake. I don't necessarily agree with him (I like to keep my options open b/c change my mind so often), but I know he's probably right. I don't want to hurt my mom cause she wanted to get me a cake. Idk if it would even upset her. It's just she said she was thinking about buying a cake and I said idk if I wanted cake and she seemed dissappointed.

If there's cake I'll probably want to eat it. But unlike before where I'd want the whole cake, now I'd just want a piece.

Thoughts?

Have cake, and a drink. It's not like you're going to gain 10 flipping pounds over a piece of cake and a drink. Maybe your mom could make cupcakes for you, and only bring you 2 (1 for you, 1 for the bf), maybe that would make everyone happy? ? ? Just my $0.02

It is my birthday today, and I turned 40! Ok, it is a little different to you as I am 9mths post op... but I had cake today. It was YUMMY!

I don't feel guilty, I don't feel bad and to be brutally honest, I shall have another slice tomorrow... it was a small piece but tasted wonderful. I don't do this often and I can't remember then last time I ate dessert... Oh, it was Christmas day...lol

have a little cake, have a little drink and enjoy it. Life is about living! =]

I would have the cake and a drink too if you want it. I also just wanted to point something out to you from experience. Before I had surgery, I was eating everything in sight because I thought I would NEVER be able to have my favorite foods again. I was wrong. With the sleeve, you will be able to eat treats again. It will just be in way smaller amounts. Now, my tastes have changed greatly and many foods I used to gorge on don't appeal to me anymore. I did have a small piece of cake last weekend and some champagne at a wedding. I enjoyed it and I didn't gain a pound (I actually lost weight). I would enjoy your birthday and know that you are doing something great for yourself! You will enjoy cake again post sleeve. I hope you have a Happy Birthday!

You sound so much like me!! Undecisive and way too worried about what others want or too worried about disappointing others. I am pre-op too, and I've become picky about the food that I put into my mouth or the reasons that I do so. For instance, I don't eat anything anymore out of fear of hurting the persons feelings that prepared it unless it's like my very favorite food in the world. If I go to a get together and theres a lot of desserts, I am not even tempted, unless theres like brownies. Those are my favorite. I might have a small one or break it in half just to get a taste.

Since you said you could take it or leave it, don't feel like you have to let her bring one if you don't really want one there. Or let her bring one thats not your fave so others can enjoy it, but you won't be as tempted by. However if you want one, you are pre-op, so get your favorite, enjoy it, and don't think another thing about it. Just don't let your mom, bf, etc be the deciding factor. It's going to happen to us post-op too.