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Scared and Not telling anyone



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I told my brother and my son. Mostly because I realized there was no way I could hide something like that since I was leaving the country. But they are not big talkers and in a way..in that sort of kind way men who are not your husband have...they don't care that much. It's my stomach.

I noticed the other day that I joined vst in January of this year. I had no idea it had been that long that I was thinking about doing this. Other than those two I told no one and probably never will. I didn't want to argue for permission from anyone. It was my decision, my stomach, my risk and my life. I was actually carrying on conversations with people in my hotel room about the weather and the news of the day by telephone and *never once* referred to the fact that I was about to have or did just have major surgery. There was something about this I really wanted to be *private*.

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Met my other BFF last night and told her. She was really supportive. At one point in our time hanging out, she looked at me and said, "I guess I'm going to have to give you your clothes back." That really made me smile. Cuz we live in Asia, plus size clothes are hard to find and are so ugly. I had given her all of my size 14-18 clothes (cuz she's one of those rare plus sized Koreans)... Anyway, that was really sweet of her, cuz it means that not only does she support me, but she believes in me. I told I would just need to borrow them. biggrin.gif

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Met my other BFF last night and told her. She was really supportive. At one point in our time hanging out, she looked at me and said, "I guess I'm going to have to give you your clothes back." That really made me smile. Cuz we live in Asia, plus size clothes are hard to find and are so ugly. I had given her all of my size 14-18 clothes (cuz she's one of those rare plus sized Koreans)... Anyway, that was really sweet of her, cuz it means that not only does she support me, but she believes in me. I told I would just need to borrow them. biggrin.gif

Lol, that was a great thing to say.

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My Surgery is Wed... I'm frantic.. I have spent the entire day reading.. .so while I'm freakin out about my hair falling out, I'm also reading other garbage on other forums.. I just have to believe that God isn't ready for my butt up there so I'm going to be ok! LOL... :)

The alternative is death if I don't do this.. and I'm just not ready to go... There are some awesome boots out there with this ladies name on them and I've not even begun to step in enough cow manure here in Texas :)

This is a blessing for all of us... we all will be fine... I firmly believe that... and I somehow hit some little plus sign thinking it was the "like" button and it said it moved it up.. I'm so sorry I'm still learning the forum.. :(

Best of luck to US ALL!!!

Ain't it great to be a LOSER! LOL :)

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Good luck Stary from one Texas gal to another! You will be FINE and you can tell me the same thing a week from now! We have far greater risks from obesity and this surgery is the best thing for us. Can't wait to hear how your surgery goes!

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The great thing about this and everyone has the choice to tell or not to tell! I did tell others, I didnt want as many people to know that do but oh well.. I ended up havin some right side belly pain and I couldnt bed over or sleep in bed and I did need help of others, Im very thankful for the help and support I recieved.. With two busy kids i needed it.. BUT on the other hand I would have preffered less people know. Goodluck with everything

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Thank you MovinForward!! biggrin.gif

Ive told my 2 BFFs... never telling my family... haven't decided if I should tell my boyfriend (he's out of the country and we won't see each other at least until Christmas)

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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