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Scared and Not telling anyone

So I live in Asia and I'm far away from my family. I'm scheduled for my sleeve surgery on the 19th... I haven't told ANYONE what I'm doing... I have a week off from work, so I just told my friends I'm going to another city to visit a friend. I'm worried though that if something happens during the surgery then they will wonder why I didn't tell them...

Did anyone else on here go it alone?? Any advice? Thanks!!

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  • Butterfly5
    Butterfly5

    I didnt tell anyone either!! The only person that knows is my DH. Not even my children know. I told work that I was having a hiatal hernia repair and gallbladder out, which is all true. I just lef

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I went alone and I did not really tell anyone! I told my sister and like 1 friend but everyone else I did not tell not even my DH which I know is crazy! I told him once I got back! the reason for that is because I knew he would try and talk me out of it! Goodluck!

I went alone to hospital but Friends and family knew about it (family in another state and friends had to work.). Just know waiting is the worst. Once you get to hospital there is so much to do it goes really quickly. I think you should tell someone even if family member far away. Peace of mind that someone knows more than anything. My opinion anyway. Good luck keep us posted

I didn't tell ANYONE and still have not. There was a letter in my house to be opened if I died that I destroyed after I came home (I live alone). I was scared for a few days beforehand but came here and posted about it, people were very supportive. You can do it on your own.

Excited is okay...but scared? This is an exciting time. You should have someone you can have take care of you or pamper you for a little bit or at least call you to check in.

Recommend as stated before that someone knows you are having surgery. Details for them are not needed but you might want someone to pick up "groceries" or hold your hand. Of course, we on this board are all here for you. Only my DH and closest girfriend knew before surgery. My mom did not know for over three months and she lives less than a mile away from me so I know about secrets.

If you truly have no one, please read the thread on what you need before surgery found by scrolling down in the forums to General Sleeve Discussions and then click on "offical what you will need for surgery thread" so you are well prepared. My favorites are g2 gatorade and heating pad. Good luck, you are going to love your sleeve!

  • Author

Thanks everyone!! I'm very excited about the surgery, but a little scared that I might die... I just keep telling myself that if I don't do the surgery I will die soon anyway. It's really nice to know that others have done it secretly.

@Foxbins... I've been thinking about the same thing.. just to leave letters in my house, just in case... I listed my 2 bffs as my emergency contacts, so they will know if something goes wrong.. I'm lucky about my surgery though... the country I live in is pretty cheap to do the surgery (Korea) and the doctor has cleared it so that I can stay in the hospital for 5 nights after my surgery, before I fly home to my city (I wouldn't be able to fly for 3 days anyway, cuz of a law in this country)...

I want to stay a bit longer too, just to make sure there are no complications... I have severe asthma, so the surgery is a little more risky. One outpatient surgical hospital rejected me cuz they said I should do the surgery in a major hospital so that a pulmonologist can be there for the surgery just in case... so I took the doctor's recommendation and found a major university hospital that will do it.

Yay!! Less than 3 weeks to go!!

I traveled to Mexico from Canada all by myself. I am a very independent person so it did not bother me one bit to have anyone with me. Actually I did not tell anyone at home till I got home that I had the surgery. It was better this way. I would do it again the same way if I had a chance to do it all over again.

  • Author

So, I have 2 BFFs... today I decided to tell one of them... the one I know will keep his mouth shut and take my secret to the grave... The reason I decided to tell him is that I live 7,000 miles from home, and someone needs to be informed of what's going on, cuz it's going to be his responsibility to call my family and tell them if I croak on the table... and to deal with all the other details like telling my friends, boss, etc. and dealing with my body.. So I just got off the phone with him.. He was glad that I told him.. I'm leaving letters for him to send and sending him emails to forward to my boyfriend (who lives in another country) and some other folks... Anyway, I feel better. Like a burden has been lifted.. Now I can just focus on my surgery and learning as much as I can about it beforehand. Thanks to everyone who replied!!

I don't think anyone on this board has heard of someone dying as a result of the surgery. Even complications can be dealt with - just make sure you follow doctors orders and call the doc right away if you have any bad symptoms (fever, pain, etc).

Good luck!

lara

Thanks everyone!! I'm very excited about the surgery, but a little scared that I might die... I just keep telling myself that if I don't do the surgery I will die soon anyway. It's really nice to know that others have done it secretly.

@Foxbins... I've been thinking about the same thing.. just to leave letters in my house, just in case... I listed my 2 bffs as my emergency contacts, so they will know if something goes wrong.. I'm lucky about my surgery though... the country I live in is pretty cheap to do the surgery (Korea) and the doctor has cleared it so that I can stay in the hospital for 5 nights after my surgery, before I fly home to my city (I wouldn't be able to fly for 3 days anyway, cuz of a law in this country)...

I want to stay a bit longer too, just to make sure there are no complications... I have severe asthma, so the surgery is a little more risky. One outpatient surgical hospital rejected me cuz they said I should do the surgery in a major hospital so that a pulmonologist can be there for the surgery just in case... so I took the doctor's recommendation and found a major university hospital that will do it.

Yay!! Less than 3 weeks to go!!

I was scared of dying and leaving my wife and kids alone, but by the time of surgery I was pretty well at peace. I thought about leaving letters but I decided against it, why I don't know, but I just had faith I was going to come out of it fine. I got on to the operating table with a sense of peace and said a prayer. I don't know if you are religious at all but this really helped me.

i am telling NOBODY except my husband! i am like foxbins, i too am writing a letter, to my mother, in case something, God forbid, should happen. Then, when i get home, I will shred it!

My work thinks I am having a hernia repair surgery, which i am too, but they don't need to know about the rest. It is my business and no one elses.

Good luck to all of you!

Kelly

I decided it was something I didn't care to share with everyone. I told one girlfriend, and my DH. Trust them both, so no need to worry about it getting out. I wouldn't share personal "woman" surgery with everyone, so why would I share something so personal to me. My kids were told I was having a hernia repair (which luckily I did not have to do) Anyway I am happy with this. It is best to go with your gut feeling. You will be so happy when you are on the other side of this surgery. Good Luck and God Bless.

my sisters and friends knew that i wanted to have bariatric surgery for the most part they were supportive when they thought it was going to be in the U.S. one day I kind of broach the subject of going to mexico if i got denied by the insurance company and every pitch a fit. so i did get denied and am planning on going to mexico. two people at work know about it, if they are against it they haven't said. i told one sister and she is very upset with me. i wish i hadn't tell her. i am not telling anyone else until after the surgery. I was a little hesitant about going to another country alone but I know i can do it.

I agree... I'm not telling anyone except my son and husband. I don't care what anyone has to say and I don't want everyone talking about me. Its my business, my choice and I love it! I go on April 14,11 to Dr. Amanza. I cant wait!

I traveled to Mexico from Canada all by myself. I am a very independent person so it did not bother me one bit to have anyone with me. Actually I did not tell anyone at home till I got home that I had the surgery. It was better this way. I would do it again the same way if I had a chance to do it all over again.

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I didnt tell anyone either!! The only person that knows is my DH. Not even my children know. I told work that I was having a hiatal hernia repair and gallbladder out, which is all true. I just left out the sleeve part. I agree. No one needs to know, it is my business. My hubby has been so supportive of me. He didnt think I needed the surgery but knew I wanted it. So he said he would support my decision and help out in whatever I needed to make me happy. He has kept my secret from his family, my family and all our friends. Gotta love that man!

Good luck everyone! I am almost at a month sleeved and have lost almost 30 pounds. It is a wonderful tool and you will love it!!

I told my brother and my son. Mostly because I realized there was no way I could hide something like that since I was leaving the country. But they are not big talkers and in a way..in that sort of kind way men who are not your husband have...they don't care that much. It's my stomach.

I noticed the other day that I joined vst in January of this year. I had no idea it had been that long that I was thinking about doing this. Other than those two I told no one and probably never will. I didn't want to argue for permission from anyone. It was my decision, my stomach, my risk and my life. I was actually carrying on conversations with people in my hotel room about the weather and the news of the day by telephone and *never once* referred to the fact that I was about to have or did just have major surgery. There was something about this I really wanted to be *private*.

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