:guess First of all, I'm 21 and have an active social life at school in nyc. But for the summer I am home in maryland and my friends are spread around the country/international. I have so many friends worried about me getting this surgery, althought most support me and know its a good thing.

My question is... does anyone feel like your "role" in your friendships is changing? I was always the BBW in my group- the fat chick who can dress... I am wondering if and how that role is going to change and how my friendships with change with my new body.

I have already lost one friend due to the changes I am embarking on...

its been really REALLY difficult dealing with this surgery with no friends in maryland to support me... I mean, I have my mother- she is having lapband surgery on monday, but thats not the same.

I'm just concerned because people have a hard time accepting change. I have had many friends tell me not to get it because I will always be beautiful to them, but I am doing this for me.. not them. I also have friends giving me the nice comment, "I can't imagine you as skinny, that's weird..."

I am a confident person, and I know that most of you will say... "if they are your true friends, they stick with you..." but the tensions are high between us and all they keep saying is, "I'm not sure YOU can do it"

Real supportive, huh?

How is your "role" changing with your friends and family? Is losing weight affecting your relationships?

Hmmm, its 2 am here, I'm sick and I cant sleep. Nasty flu, grump grump.

I was never a person who compensated for my weight or tried to hide it or was fat and jolly so overall it hasnt changed.

But I have a girlfriend of over 20 years whom I love to death, she's a friend for life. She's very very obese, probably 60kg overweight and is going through a real kind of frump at the moment, she has a toddler and a 7 month old baby and her husband travels a lot for work, I think she's finding life tough and I'd hazard a guess she's put on significant weight. Because we're both also part of a close online group and I told everyone about my surgery, people keep wanting to see pics on me, I keep getting complements etc and I really think its rubbing salt into her wounds. She's witnessed how much my life has improved but i think she feels that it wouldnt work for her, she's too bad a case, she's too ashamed of her failings. I so wish I could help her, I dont want to be a source of sadness to her, but I dont know how to approach it.