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So I opened my vehicle door and there sat my Valentine's card and present from my husband. He gave me a Heart Shape box of Candy....I thought HE KNOWS I CAN'T eat CHOCOLATE!!! I opened the box and all the chocolate was GONE but in the middle of the box was 1 small heart shape hard candy that said I LOVE YOU! It made me laugh so much! Then I read the card and cried...it was the SWEETEST CARD I've EVER GOTTEN!!!

Since I've been SLEEVED and that was only 5 weeks tomorrow I've noticed a BIG BIG BIG CHANGE in my husband. He is starting to show me more attention! If I mention something...and I mean just say Oh I need to go do this...HE DOES IT FOR ME! At first I just thought I was imagining things but then my daughter noticed too! He EVEN went to Church with me this past Sunday and took us out for lunch and NEVER complained!

I told him we need a work out room for all our equipment....today a new 14 X 24 Building came! Now don't get me wrong my daughters have been asking this for MONTHS..YEARS...I just finally told him last week and he ordered it! THIS NEVER HAPPENED IN THE PAST.. he would do what the girls wanted not what I wanted! I'm just in SHOCK I mean WHAT THE HECK is going ON?!?

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So I opened my vehicle door and there sat my Valentine's card and present from my husband. He gave me a Heart Shape box of Candy....I thought HE KNOWS I CAN'T eat CHOCOLATE!!! I opened the box and all the chocolate was GONE but in the middle of the box was 1 small heart shape hard candy that said I LOVE YOU! It made me laugh so much! Then I read the card and cried...it was the SWEETEST CARD I've EVER GOTTEN!!!

Since I've been SLEEVED and that was only 5 weeks tomorrow I've noticed a BIG BIG BIG CHANGE in my husband. He is starting to show me more attention! If I mention something...and I mean just say Oh I need to go do this...HE DOES IT FOR ME! At first I just thought I was imagining things but then my daughter noticed too! He EVEN went to Church with me this past Sunday and took us out for lunch and NEVER complained!

I told him we need a work out room for all our equipment....today a new 14 X 24 Building came! Now don't get me wrong my daughters have been asking this for MONTHS..YEARS...I just finally told him last week and he ordered it! THIS NEVER HAPPENED IN THE PAST.. he would do what the girls wanted not what I wanted! I'm just in SHOCK I mean WHAT THE HECK is going ON?!?

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Enjoy it girl! Maybe he is seeing how hard you are working, and wants to compensate in some way! Happy Valentines day, and hope he keeps it up : )

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So I opened my vehicle door and there sat my Valentine's card and present from my husband. He gave me a Heart Shape box of Candy....I thought HE KNOWS I CAN'T eat CHOCOLATE!!! I opened the box and all the chocolate was GONE but in the middle of the box was 1 small heart shape hard candy that said I LOVE YOU! It made me laugh so much! Then I read the card and cried...it was the SWEETEST CARD I've EVER GOTTEN!!!

Since I've been SLEEVED and that was only 5 weeks tomorrow I've noticed a BIG BIG BIG CHANGE in my husband. He is starting to show me more attention! If I mention something...and I mean just say Oh I need to go do this...HE DOES IT FOR ME! At first I just thought I was imagining things but then my daughter noticed too! He EVEN went to Church with me this past Sunday and took us out for lunch and NEVER complained!

I told him we need a work out room for all our equipment....today a new 14 X 24 Building came! Now don't get me wrong my daughters have been asking this for MONTHS..YEARS...I just finally told him last week and he ordered it! THIS NEVER HAPPENED IN THE PAST.. he would do what the girls wanted not what I wanted! I'm just in SHOCK I mean WHAT THE HECK is going ON?!?

That is so wonderful and sweet!!! I say... just take it and run girlie!! :)

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Yep agree- just run with it- but when you finally are able to close your jaw from dropping open in AH- say thank you and let him know just how much you appreciate what He has done because he loves and cares for YOU! :)

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Absolutely fabulous, and super sweet of your husband.

It sounds likes he's showing his love and pride for you with gifts. My husband is the same way.

If you haven't ever, I highly suggest reading the book "5 Languages of Love". It really gave me insight to how my husband communicated his love for me. Before WLS, it was taking me to my fave places to eat, sharing his sweets with me, never mentioning my weight, and doting on me while I sat on a high pedestal that he perched my fat ass up on.

Once I dropped the weight, his gift giving was different, and he told me he was proud of me more than I could count, but he didn't verbalize it very well. He did things to make my life easier to compensate for his lack of actually saying it.

Enjoy these moments, and make sure you communicate your love to him in whatever manner he'll recognize that you appreciate all of his sweet gestures. That was the most difficult chore for me was to "tell" him I loved, appreciated, and was thankful for his efforts/kindness/willingness to help in a manner that he could understand and recognize. He needs "acts of service and words of affirmation" to see love, while I need "quality time and physical touch". We communicate and receive love differently, but because of that book and the pointers it gives, we have really learned to "talk" with one another.

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Enjoy it! 80 lbs and not one single compliment here. Valentines consisted of me cooking dinner and cleaning it up. Flowers and a card he ran into jewel and got on his way home.

Has me rethinking how much I want to be here.

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Oh yes, enjoy it!

See, I did get a face cream I couldn't afford on my own, but no cards, no flowers, not a single "I love you". I had heart-shaped chocolate for him, a little plant with a heart, I cooked him dinner (switched off all the lights and lighted up many candles!)... I did not even get a hug since I came back from my surgery...

So, I am happy to be happy for you! You are very lucky! :heart:

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THANKS ALL I AM ENJOYING THE ATTENTION because I didn't get it before! LOL

Tiff, Thanks I'm going to order that book. Men are SO HARD TO READ sometimes. What made me the MOST SURPRISED was he really had to put some THOUGHT into that candy box! LOL My daughter asked him last night were is the chocolate....he said I ate it...it took me three days but I finally finished it. LOL I thought to myself you poor baby it took you three Whole days....LOL....My daughter said Dad you could have shared with me! We all laughed!

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Mine who was completely against the surgery is also being extra kind.

I thought of making a little sarcasm about it but then decided to just respond to his kindness with kindness. So he came home yesterday and I had a nice dinner for him and the girls ready to be served. They were all so happy.

Just enjoy and do the same for him. Maybe something special that he enjoys and that you have not done in a long time specially for him. :D

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No candy for me surgery tomorrow. Watching everyone eating candy makes me think of how I got here I. The first place, soo very sad

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ha! mine consisted of driving him around the tri-state area looking for cars since his died on him. not a card, not a balloon, not a flower, not a plant, not a valentines day kiss.... nothing.

i bought him concert tickets for next month that cost me $200 & he refuses to go so now im trying to sell them. yay!!! happy valentines day :'(

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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